All in all, thinking it over, being a god is much better than any of the alternatives, Deinos thought as he lay pleasantly drunk on the crown of a hill. The midday sun shone down from a clear sky baking the demigod and the empty wine skins and food containers scattered about him, all gifts from the mortals he met on his long walk back to Sparta from the distant lands of the Scythians.

You get to make your own hours, people gladly hand over gifts of food and coin and bow and kneel when commanded, the women are all impressed to be in the presence of one so mighty. And in return, I have to listen to their endless pleas and when they start getting shifty I go on a mission to beat down some of their enemies like the Scythians. Yes, it is the good life until someone from the homeworld sarts sticking their nose into my life and messing up my myths. Then it's off to find a new city and collection of yokels to adopt me as patron deity.

He was drifting into sleep when he heard the sound of four sets of footsteps coming up the hillside. Opening his eyes to mere slits he could see Sparta below and a city councillor, the High Priest of Deinos, and two guards approaching.

The priest spoke first.

"Oh great and zestful, Deinos, god of Sparta and terror of the -"

"Cut it out," the councillor said to the man. "Deinos, how went the war of Retribution against King Arus of Scythia? And why in, the name of Zeus, did it take you so long to return?"

"Who are you, little man, who dares question a god? I do what I do and I go where I go. Perhaps I will beat you down like I did the Scythians!"

The guards take a step back at Deinos' words. The priest's face turns pale and he seems to be torn between falling to his knees and beg for forgiveness or running back to Sparta.The councillor is less impressed and crosses his arms and taps his foot in impatience.

"'Question a god'? All we mortals do is question gods: "Why are my sheep sick?", "Why is there a drought?", "Why is there a flood?", "Why doesn't she love me?", "Why does he love me?". If you don't like the questions then get out of the godding business." the councillor says. "Sure, thanks for taking out those Scythians but while you were gone to the war and then drinking the contents of every winecellar between Asia and here, things have gone to Hades. If you want to earn your keep, then go and convince Menelaus not to do anything stupid."

"Ha! I like your spirit! I think I will take you to Menelaus with me." Deinos, gets up, brushes himself off, picks up the councillor, and walks off.

"Now...", he says to the councillor, "where might we find your winecellar?"

The guards sigh in relief when Deinos walks off without great incident. The priest pulls out a handkerchief and mops his brow and cheeks. All three follow Deinos down the hill.

The councilor places his elbow in the nape of the godling's neck then leans his chin on his hand. "This is hardly the most dignified way to return to the city," he grouses, "the hoi polloi may already consider me to be an ass but there is no reason to give them more proof by entering the gates backside-first."

Bounding down the hill, Deinos notices for the first time that he city is preparing for war. Outside the gates the soldiers of the city stand in formation dressed in their armour. In front of them King Menelaus stands on a wooden platform giving a speech while waving his war axe over his head. In another open area horses and mules stand in traces while the wagons they will pull get loaded with the supplies necessary for a long campaign.

"If you speak well with the king than you can have all the contents of my wine cellar." the councilor says.

"Let us strike a bargain then. We will help each other and all will benefit from this work. Tell me, what do you know of Menelaus' plans?"

"Put me down and I will tell you what I know."

"So be it." Deinos puts the councilor down gently.

Back on his feet the councilor takes an inordinate amount of time smoothing and arranging his robes then runs his hands through his hair and beard trying to rrestore his appearance.

"While you were on your booze tour of Asia Minor with breaks in your drinking and rutting for some smiting of our foes, a diplomatic mission from Troy came to our city. Before talks were concluded the King was called away to attend the funeral of his uncle Catreas in Crete. While the king was away the Trojan prince Paris did abduct our queen Helen and took her to his home in Troy. Now the king and other Mycenaean rulers are gathering their armies to sail for Troy and take revenge on our insult."

He gestures to Menelaus.

"We march very soon. You'd best go get whatever equipment you wish to bring for the voyage."

"Yes, go fetch me wine and food for the voyage. I will talk with the king."

When the king finishes his speech making, Deinos walks up to the king.

"Greetings, sire. I have heard ill tidings have come to this place while I was away. Fair Helen has been stolen. I wish to join you on your journey and assist you in taking back your bride. Do you know if any of my brethren were involved in this dastardly deed?"

"I'm not your servant but I am sure I can find some slave in the city willing to collect your things," the councillor says in a huff as Deinos walks away.

King Menelaus isn't much happier to see the demi-god.

"Made it back just in time to march, huh? Why not have come back a few weeks ago when you could have done some good? Yes, 'ill tidings', but more like a declaration of war against Sparta! Priam's offspring stole the only thing of value in our city and scuttled back to their lair. We will all head out soon with revenge on our minds and with the hope that Paris stays in Illium otherwise none of our wives and daughters will be safe while the men go to war.

"No word of your kind of people being involved but your type are always sticking your noses into everyone else's affairs so I suspect it is so. Have you heard any rumors about this?"

"I should remind you that a few weeks ago I was about your business dealing with the Scythians. I had not heard any of this until today but I will join you, sire. If you like, I can take care of Paris personally."

"No, no, Paris is mine. Achilles has always wanted to see Hector dead. You will find other great people to hunt on the battlefield but those two are spoken for.

"Now everything is ready. We march to Athens where our ships await the gathering of the armies of Greece."

Then I will go and see what I can see and do what I can do."

"March at the head of my army and by the time we reach Athens word of your retribution against Sythia will have spread. Let's see the envy on Agamemnon and Odysseus' faces when they see the great Diemos marching with the army of Sparta!"

It is a march of one week before Athens is sighted. Around the city are camped the armies from many of the Greek city-states and the harbour of Piraeus is filled with so many ships that the sea can only be seen in the small gaps between them.

"Look at that fleet!" Menelaus gloats "The greatest fleet ever assembled will sail to bring down the topless towers of Illium!"

During the march the king seemed much happier than when Deinos first saw him. It seems that being in the field and with his soldiers is more to his liking than hanging about in the city.