This is not a place for generalizations, this is a place for solid examples.  What are some of the worst bits of prose and passages from your favorite (and not-so-favorite) RPGs.  Kindly place the offending passage in quotes.

Allow me to go first, with a poem apparently found in the Wraeththu RPG:

QuoteI want to be your hell, enemy.

I want to be your doom

I want to be your scream of agony

As your damned soul goes foom!

Foom, indeed.

Quote from: Zachary The First;362269This is not a place for generalizations, this is a place for solid examples.  What are some of the worst bits of prose and passages from your favorite (and not-so-favorite) RPGs.  Kindly place the offending passage in quotes.

Allow me to go first, with a poem apparently found in the Wraeththu RPG:



Foom, indeed.

Foom?  FOOM?

Jesus Christ.  Yeah you may have scored an own goal there and closed the thread out with that single quote.

With that said, I still think the name wraeththu itself is colossally stupid in its own right.

(but then what do I know - my favorite campaign world is Greyhawk wherein dwells an archmage named Mordenkainen...)

Quote from: Zachary The First;362269This is not a place for generalizations, this is a place for solid examples.  What are some of the worst bits of prose and passages from your favorite (and not-so-favorite) RPGs.  Kindly place the offending passage in quotes.

Allow me to go first, with a poem apparently found in the Wraeththu RPG:



Foom, indeed.

You can sing it to the Beatles' "I want to be your lover, Baby"...

-clash

The other parts of that battle cry (apparently) are almost as bad. I think thedungeondelver is right, I can't say I have ever heard of a worse example of RPG writing than this.

Songs and poetry in rpgs and fiction are a BAD idea 95% of the time.

Well fuck, I've got nothing to beat that one. You set the bar too high, man!!

RPGPundit

Well, we've got a likely gold medal, but there's no reason why we can't keep going for the silver and bronze.

I don't have any good quotes because I usually get rid of really bad games.

That is... bad. I'll have to agree.

Shit.  Case closed.

!i!

I don't know anything about Wraththu, but from the quote you posted and what I gathered by glancing at the review, it looks like some kind of joke or half serious game. My guess is they were deliberately trying to write a bad poem in order to be funny. If that is the case, I'd say it isn't so terrible. If I am wrong, and they weren't trying to be funny, lord help us.

I have to agree with the other poster who said that most poems in RPGs tend to be pretty bad. I think poetry is just one of those things people underestimate. It really does require a lot of thought and energy to produce just a few good lines (or at least serious natural talent). A lot of writers just think it is a matter of throwing together some archaic sounding words and trying to make them sound impressive.

I seem to remember that the fiction that opens Earthdawn 1e was pretty fucking bad, which was funny because when I saw it there at first I thought it was a great idea. That lasted for about a fucking second.

Quote from: Zachary The First;362269This is not a place for generalizations, this is a place for solid examples.  What are some of the worst bits of prose and passages from your favorite (and not-so-favorite) RPGs.  Kindly place the offending passage in quotes.

Allow me to go first, with a poem apparently found in the Wraeththu RPG:



Foom, indeed.

That's so stupid that it had to be a typo. Either that, or it was originally written in another language and used a web language translator to convert to english.

Quote from: Joethelawyer;362410That's so stupid that it had to be a typo. Either that, or it was originally written in another language and used a web language translator to convert to english.

Maybe it was a reference to another primordial terror?

Nobody mentions Nobillis ? How dissapointing.

Regards,
David R

Quote from: David R;362417Nobody mentions Nobillis ? How dissapointing.

Regards,
David R

Did anyone here besides you and GG actually read it?

-clash