The gonzo version of the evil-overlord thread.
He was into bow ties before bow ties were cool!
Chocolate Oranges. And not the candies in the foil you break into slivers. Real, actual grown on a tree chocolate inside peels on the outside chocolate oranges. Once, in the realm of Willnka he tasted the wonderful creation but his crimes took him far away. He lost his Golden Ticket and the strange factory owner who brought him there. He now conquers worlds looking for the illusive guide who can bring him back to Willnka and the delicious wonder of the chocolate orange.
He's about to go on a HOT date with a female Red Dragon.
Because cravats are ovah! to anybody truly in the know. (Genius level INT bizzatches!)
Quote from: trechriron;830175Chocolate Oranges. And not the candies in the foil you break into slivers. Real, actual grown on a tree chocolate inside peels on the outside chocolate oranges. Once, in the realm of Willnka he tasted the wonderful creation but his crimes took him far away. He lost his Golden Ticket and the strange factory owner who brought him there. He now conquers worlds looking for the illusive guide who can bring him back to Willnka and the delicious wonder of the chocolate orange.
...I really like this one...
Because he heard his date was into knots.
white dragons are not very smart.
https://archive.moe/tg/thread/39779872/
So that idiotic humans with irrepressible curiosity come stumbling up to him to ask him why he's wearing a freaking bow tie.
>> CHOMP <<
(burp)
(Dragon picks his teeth)
His princess ties one on him every morning, whether he likes it or not.
To elaborate: he heard dragons kidnap princesses, so he gave it a shot, but the bards he made recite for him were always vague on the why of the whole business. He just figured it was a hoard thing, another form of treasure, but unlike gold and jewels a princess has to be fed and watered and above all kept happy, or she makes your lair miserable, so he's ended up humoring her on a surprising range of issues.
Because someone found an unpublished manuscript of the sequel to Jihn Ford's shitty "How Much for Just the Planet?" "comedy" Star Trek novel and drew a prospective cover to show how this is even "funnier."
i feel like im on /tg/
i can be in 2 places at once holy shit i am a god.
It was once a robe that belong to a arch mage that has powerful enchantments. One of these enchantments allow the dragon regenerate wounds and regrow limbs. Another allows the dragon to use the finger of death.
Because the dragon is a geek who idolizes the 11th Doctor and Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Some adventurers tied it around his neck after being dared by a trickster god. It acts as a charm person spell (favorably predisposing the recipient towards whoever tied it) or as a helm of alignment reversal (pick one).
Are you gonna tell her it's funny looking?
Didn't think so.
Quote from: Xavier Onassiss;830555Are you gonna tell her it's funny looking?
Didn't think so.
Yes. Yes I did.
Since this thread is about a gonzo version of the "what does the evil overlord want?" thread, I think it had less to do with the actual
dragon wearing a
bow tie (specifically) and more to do with
Gonzo Reasons of the original thread (broadly).
She agreed, cast the bow tie down in disgust and promptly returned to her nap, 27 years going thus far.
See what you people did?
Because the dragon is a firm believer that even razing villages and hoarding treasure in between eating knights can be done stylishly.
Wether or not a bow tie can be considered stylish is best kept to one's self, since argueing with a 30 ton fire breathing death machine that can fly, is never wise.
A man and his wife bought a home. The man lost his job. The wife had to work. She ended up working all day to pay the bills while the man got bored looking for work and staying home between appointments. So one evening the wife comes home and finds her husband wearing nothing but a top hat.
She goes, "Honey, why are you naked?"
He goes, "It doesn't make any difference. We've got no money and no one comes to see us."
She says "Then why are you wearing the top hat?"
He says "Just in case."
Quote from: The Butcher;830545Some adventurers tied it around his neck after being dared by a trickster god. It acts as a charm person spell (favorably predisposing the recipient towards whoever tied it) or as a helm of alignment reversal (pick one).
Why is there no like button?
Quote from: Christopher Brady;830646Why is there no like button?
:hatsoff:
Its a Bow Tie of Reflection