I wonder about that since I am usually the one GMing.
Even in groups in which we agreed that me and another player will take our turns I ended up doing it most of the time.

And the worst thing is that I cannot blame anyone but myself.

It usually begins with
Phase A: Cool! I am playing a PC. Finally!
Phase B: Oh man, I would have handled that differently.
Phase C: That sucked! The adventure was not what I was hoping for.
Phase D: "Hey everyone! Do you mind if I give it a try? I have an idea."

I really wonder how I can stop doing that.

I run games because I like to GM better than playing as a PC. 

That said, most people won't ever GM because they think it will ruin their fun playing.  It's the idea that you don't want to see how the sausage is made.

Some are just lazy.  Why would they do anything extra when they can just show up game night and have fun?

Some people are intimidated by the idea of being a GM.  In their mind, being a GM is taking on the full responsibility of the game and it's a huge undertaking.  Often it happens when the player rereads the core book from the stand point of running and realizes just how far behind the power curve he is.  (a lot of books are poorly written and the publishers should be ashamed) 

Part of this problem is current GMs bitching about being GMs.  From a player's perspective, hear a GM complain is the same as them saying that they aren't having fun. 

Everything BadApple said, from a different angle:

- A few people are better at being a GM than they are playing.  It's better for all involved if they GM as much as possible.

- A few people suck at being a GM, always will, and should never do it any longer than it takes to establish that fact.

- Of the rest, there has to be a convergence of interest, time, subject matter, and confidence for it to work.  Given enough of those factors, they'll make it work eventually.  You have to give them said air to breathe, though.

My wife will run a game when it is different genre than the what I run (improves confidence and interest) and when she has time (which right now, she doesn't).  She'll do it for a much smaller subset of players than I will (both numbers and particular people). Practically speaking, that means no games from her in the last few years.  Given the priorities she places on other hobbies, she might never run again.  That's OK, if that's the way she wants to do it.

Even for experienced GM's, there's nothing worse than running a game you don't want to run.  An experienced GM can see that and fix it one way or the other.   

Agreeing with BadApple and Steven, some people are just better suited to GM. It's a different skill set that perma-players don't have or don't enjoy exercising, or perhaps they just haven't tried yet. There's nothing wrong with that.

Thinking "I can do it better" is also a motivator for me as a GM. People are naturally competitive. I notice this a lot when I'm a player, not that I'm better. Rather it's easier to notice flaws from the outside. I deal with that by intentionally altering my understanding of the game, so that I can enjoy being a player more. I basically try to buy into the game more as it is currently being run. I calm my inner GM and realize that players in my games may think the same thing about my games from time to time. It took me a while to realize that accepting the game as it is with enthusiasm is part of the skill set of being a good player.

The rewarding aspects of running an rpg and playing in it are very different.  I had a player who loved having his character grow and develop both in a mechanical sense and as a "person."  He asked why I would be willing to dm every week when I couldn't get that out of the game.  I told him that the world grew and developed a bit every time I wrote something for it or we played in it.  And that DMing is performance art, and seeing your friends enjoy the material I wrote and ran is very satisfying all by itself.  I'll also echo the comments above that skill and confidence running a game come with experience, so once someone has that experience, it makes sense for him to keep the DM seat.

Quote from: Coffeecup on January 19, 2024, 02:11:02 AM
Phase B: Oh man, I would have handled that differently.

I think I found your problem.

Everyone would have handled "that" differently. Maybe try to look at it like, "This is how X did it, how am I going to play "this" now?"
I do a lot of GMing because I have the same mindset. When I play, I have to try and put that minset aside and just let the GM do their own thing.

I have mostly GMed because I enjoy RPGs, and most players are lazy, so it's GM or watch the group fall apart.

I was once in a 3 person rpg group where the idea was alternating GM's, and while two of us took our fair share, the third member was always dodging, to the point where we had to stop even counting his IOUs. He'd rather destroy the group than take his turn, and I assure you it was laziness not fear or uncertainty. It was no great loss though, as even when he did GM he put zero effort in, whereas my other co-GM always put the time in.

Most players want to just clock out of work and roll some dice, which is understandable. Unfortunately, for there to be a game to roll dice in, some poor schmuck needs to put in the extra effort to create adventures.

Pretty much echoing what others have said.

Even on minimum prep or games where everyone chips in to affect the story and the narrative, the GM still has to run the game and adjudicate any rulings and have NPCs that act in accordance to the fiction.

So, its always going to be a bigger lift to be the GM at the table than to be a Player.

For this reason, people will sometimes never want to be the GM and will rather be a Player. A Player can be very involved in the narrative, the rules of the game, the setting and even the dice rolling. Or, they can just be as little involved as possible and just along for the ride.

A GM has to be involved or else the game falls apart.

I've been a forever GM for so long that I understand what you mean by the "I would have handled that better". But, if you really want to be a Player you have to cut everyone else some slack. GMin involves a set of skills. Like any skill, there is some innate talent but proficiency can be developed. So, do not judge other GMs so harshly unless they have the same amount of experience GMing that game as you do.

Comparison is the thief of joy and in this case, it is also its murderer. If you really want to be a Player then reign in your judgement and just make an effort to enjoy the ride.

Or else, the perfectionist in you will make it so you will always be the forever GM.

Quote from: Coffeecup on January 19, 2024, 02:11:02 AM
I wonder about that since I am usually the one GMing.
Even in groups in which we agreed that me and another player will take our turns I ended up doing it most of the time.

And the worst thing is that I cannot blame anyone but myself.

It usually begins with
Phase A: Cool! I am playing a PC. Finally!
Phase B: Oh man, I would have handled that differently.
Phase C: That sucked! The adventure was not what I was hoping for.
Phase D: "Hey everyone! Do you mind if I give it a try? I have an idea."

I really wonder how I can stop doing that.

Don't leave Phase A!

Quote from: Aglondir on January 19, 2024, 04:19:50 PM

Quote from: Coffeecup on January 19, 2024, 02:11:02 AM
I wonder about that since I am usually the one GMing.
Even in groups in which we agreed that me and another player will take our turns I ended up doing it most of the time.

And the worst thing is that I cannot blame anyone but myself.

It usually begins with
Phase A: Cool! I am playing a PC. Finally!
Phase B: Oh man, I would have handled that differently.
Phase C: That sucked! The adventure was not what I was hoping for.
Phase D: "Hey everyone! Do you mind if I give it a try? I have an idea."

I really wonder how I can stop doing that.

Don't leave Phase A!

Or, if like me, you find that you can't entirely achieve that, then do the next best thing, which is rigorously keep it to yourself.  I mean, the thoughts spend through your head, because you are in always a GM mode, but they don't make it into anything you say or do in the game, or anything you talk about it afterwards, etc.  If that makes you a little more quiet and inactive as a player than you'd like to be, them's the breaks. 

For me, for most of the time either I am running the game or I am not gaming.

I want to game so I just go ahead and run.  Sometimes I get to play. but most if the time I run.

I'm a mostly GM, but I do find I learn a lot from being a player. I definitely recommend treating it as a learning experience. I've definitely learned things from the way other GMs handle things differently.

If I don't run the game, there won't be a game.

I've been lucky over the years.  I have had some good GMs run games for me and some really good players as well. 

There's been more than once where I've been in groups where there's more than one GM.  Some GMs make the best players.  It's also cool to play one game in the week as a player and another day of the week as the GM.  It's been really amazing to have a guy that is both a GM and a games developer that he looks forward to the sessions you run.  What's really cool is when a GM sees something you do as a house rule and uses it at their own table.

I have had the pleasure of helping a couple of players shift to behind the screen.  Some of those early sessions were terrible but at the same time awesome.  I always say thank you to a GM that runs for me but I'm particularly mindful of newer guys.  The hardest part is holding back advice and critiques.  You really need to wait until they want it or all you do is deflate them.  (I didn't do it but another player at a session I was in did.  It was heartbreaking watching the guy just give up.)  I have a couple of books I give new guys that do ask though and it always seems to work out. 

I have had times where I have run games and there was a GM that would get critical of my style.  (I'm not saying I'm the best GM but I've had a lot more happy players than unhappy ones.)  There are some techniques and scenarios I don't do well with so I avoid them.  It sucks when I have a guy see that and try to push the game into those directions. 

Yep some GMs make the best players. They know what it's like. They approach the game with enthusiasm and suppress their personal criticism unless asked. They have the rule book ready to help you look something up if needed but they don't rules lawyer you. I've gamed with some of these guys and it's a dream.