The monster that none of the other monsters can stand?
Otyugh? Or is that too obvious?
You just know the dragon has to be hard to work with. He has to get his name in the title of the game, and he gets paid a higher treasure rating. All the warning signs of a diva are there.
Quote from: Baulderstone;870875You just know the dragon has to be hard to work with. He has to get his name in the title of the game, and he gets paid a higher treasure rating. All the warning signs of a diva are there.
That'd make a fun reveal... when the party finally makes their way to the dragon's lair, only to find it long dead. Captive orc says, "Yeah, we killed that fucker years ago... really prissy shit trying to boss us around all the time. Killed it and then used some of its treasure to install this really nice permanent dragon illusion, to keep out the riff raff."
Maybe whichever cthuloid or other monster is your campaign's stereotypical "monster from beyond mortal understanding." I can see the holiday party--the orc chieftain, beholder, and yuan-ti are meeting around the punch bowl:
Orc- "Y'know, I can handle the demons telling me he'll take my soul, and the angels telling me that their god's gift to the world, and even the dragon just telling me to give them my gold and serve them or die. But what do you do when some half-aquatic weirdo walks up and says, "Kdssuuufarrgh! Obfuscate the fidelity of the nerrmo valences, puny orc!?"
The Devas I'm certain.
Quote from: Willie the Duck;870871Otyugh? Or is that too obvious?
I'd say it's the neo-otyugh. This guy is a monster that's literally shitty yet is trying to pass himself off as new and
avante-garde. Pretentious hipster.
Brownies, annoying little assholes stole my socks!
The Tarrasque. You can't have a conversation with the guy, all he does is eat and eat, with no consideration of the chaos or people he's eating. Total jerkbag.
Quote from: RPGPundit;870789The monster that none of the other monsters can stand?
Man.
The Tarasque isn't even in the AD&D Monster Manual!
Anyhow, easily defeated by a decanter of endless water and a cornucopia.
Even Thor couldn't drink the entire ocean.
Beholder gets all shitty with anyone who doesn't have exactly the right number of eye-stalks. Or even if you do, they find out one of your eye rays casts Haste instead of Slow and suddenly you're back on their shit list.
Impossible creatures, really.
Humans! They're up in everybody's business, pokin' around, lootin' 'n shit. Damn, just scandalous it is.
Humans have the greatest potential for evil.
Evil Deities are evil by nature.
Humans are evil by choice.
Quote from: Opaopajr;871020Humans! They're up in everybody's business, pokin' around, lootin' 'n shit. Damn, just scandalous it is.
RACIST! What, you think Dwarves, Elves and Halflings smell any better? (OK, Elves probably smell like flowers, I'll give ya that one) they often join the Humans with their lootin' 'n' pillagin' 'n' shit!
Beholders - they don't stop mad-dogging ya.
Quote from: Christopher Brady;871072RACIST! What, you think Dwarves, Elves and Halflings smell any better? (OK, Elves probably smell like flowers, I'll give ya that one) they often join the Humans with their lootin' 'n' pillagin' 'n' shit!
Yeah but demihumans often get back to hugging trees, digging for valuables, and being domestics. They tend to stay in their place. Adventuring is just something to do on those off-years to stave off the boredom.
Those humans get bored easily and live so short they can't help start pokin' around in every place. All over and under the land, chopping down trees to stabilize their slipshod mines to get second-rate valuables to wage slave domestics into serving ale and pipe-weed. And they breed like fleas, too! Big, burly fleas, who like to leave insitutions and laws all over the place. If you wrong one you'll have their mongrel great grandchildren bring an army to avenge just once you have began to cool down from the argument.
Assholes!
Quote from: Opaopajr;871135Yeah but demihumans often get back to hugging trees, digging for valuables, and being domestics. They tend to stay in their place. Adventuring is just something to do on those off-years to stave off the boredom.
Those humans get bored easily and live so short they can't help start pokin' around in every place. All over and under the land, chopping down trees to stabilize their slipshod mines to get second-rate valuables to wage slave domestics into serving ale and pipe-weed. And they breed like fleas, too! Big, burly fleas, who like to leave insitutions and laws all over the place. If you wrong one you'll have their mongrel great grandchildren bring an army to avenge just once you have began to cool down from the argument.
Assholes!
...
You make a compelling argument.
...
Zug zug.
Don't even get me started on GIBBERING MOUTHERS!
Quote from: Xavier Onassiss;871338Don't even get me started on GIBBERING MOUTHERS!
Don't get the Gibbering Mouthers started on the Gibbering Mouthers.
Pshaw, all of you who said 'humans'. Ridiculous self-loathing.
Quote from: RPGPundit;872189Pshaw, all of you who said 'humans'. Ridiculous self-loathing.
See? Arrogant. Think they are implicitly above the fray in that question and any analysis otherwise is seen as traitorous breaking of ranks. Assholes the lot of them.
(Trying to ignore their multi-page spread in the 2e MM and everything... Tsk, shameful.)
:p
MODRONS.
Lawful neutral, the ass-hattiest of the alignments? Check.
Always refer to themselves with the royal "We?" Check.
Trying way too hard to let you know they were "all into radial symmetry before it was cool?" Check.
Tell me you don't honestly want to just haul off and punch that (https://sites.google.com/site/caffeinatorpf/_/rsrc/1358124702629/creatures/modron/duodrones/Duodrone.jpg) square in that smug grin.
Just Modrons.
Ogre Magi, neither a ogre nor a magi. What are they?
Quote from: Nick Bower;872340MODRONS.
Lawful neutral, the ass-hattiest of the alignments? Check.
Always refer to themselves with the royal "We?" Check.
Trying way too hard to let you know they were "all into radial symmetry before it was cool?" Check.
Tell me you don't honestly want to just haul off and punch that (https://sites.google.com/site/caffeinatorpf/_/rsrc/1358124702629/creatures/modron/duodrones/Duodrone.jpg) square in that smug grin.
Just Modrons.
We might have a winner.
Harpies. Before harpies, people could sing and frolic in their joviality. After harpies, no singing ever, no longer a part of culture. Harpies made DnD land a dull place to live.
Quote from: Simlasa;870881That'd make a fun reveal... when the party finally makes their way to the dragon's lair, only to find it long dead. Captive orc says, "Yeah, we killed that fucker years ago... really prissy shit trying to boss us around all the time. Killed it and then used some of its treasure to install this really nice permanent dragon illusion, to keep out the riff raff."
lol i need to do this some time and then the ork asks if they want a drink
Hill Giants are infamous drunks who always try to borrow money.