How do you prefer to deal with it when one or more of your players has a problem with another? Do you hash it out as a group? Do you want them to discuss it privately and handle it between themselves if possible? Or do you prefer that everything go through you, as GM, and you act as mediator in any disputes, even if they could have conceivably handled it themselves?
If bickering cuts into play time, the game stops and one or both of those players will not be invited back. Most of the time, they get the point when you start packing your books.
If it's between the players and not the PCs, I want it to be handled OOC, and as GM I'll mention to each of them where the boundaries are and what needs to happen for the game's sake and their continued welcomeness in it. The other players shouldn't need to be involved. If it's not really affecting play yet, I'll talk to them during down time or between sessions, separately. If it starts to interfere with the game, I'll probably talk to them right away, or if they're really being inappropriate I might warn them (or if not heeded, send them out) and continue play. I hardly ever have that problem though - the players I've chosen to play with have rarely had that kind of behavior issue.
In this particular case it's a play by post game. Does that affect how you would handle it?
Most of the time I've seen that problem one of the Players ends up dropping out of the group before it spills over too much into the game... the freak with the most friends at the table wins out.
Boardgames are where I've seen more overt friction and even physical altercations.
Quote from: Technomancer;975680How do you prefer to deal with it when one or more of your players has a problem with another? Do you hash it out as a group? Do you want them to discuss it privately and handle it between themselves if possible? Or do you prefer that everything go through you, as GM, and you act as mediator in any disputes, even if they could have conceivably handled it themselves?
If it
ever bleeds into my games, I slash it clean at the root as quick as possible but
only as far as it surfaces. Otherwise, those players stow their shit at the door. I've had to do this a few times in the span of running my club as well as easily twice, maybe three times that when I've done online games (there's a reason those players in particular played online...*nudge nudge*). In either context, I have to use a real-life mix of INT, WIT, PER and MNP with PERS, EMPH and even a good helping of INTM when I have to really break it down and make the situation real for those involved.
Hah, I love being a Tier Two equiv GM.
Quote from: Technomancer;975691In this particular case it's a play by post game. Does that affect how you would handle it?
Hmm. The distance between PBP post players means I've hardly ever seen this happen! I have run PBEMs where I pissed off players, usually they were ladies from more a '90s Simming type background and didn't grok how in D&D your PC can die or be
Charmed even when you don't want it to happen.
"Cut that shit out."
Quote from: Technomancer;975691In this particular case it's a play by post game. Does that affect how you would handle it?
Yes. Also if they know each other in real life or are adding OOC nonsense to the game channels. I don't allow OOC nonsense in the game channels - I ask OOC & OT content to be posted outside the channels used for the game.
People misbehaving or who haven't yet learned what/how to post to game channels, I mute. They can submit stuff through me and I can post for their actions, until they behave or learn. And if they're too annoying, they get warned and/or jettisoned.
Do not get other players involved. That just blows it up.
Anyway if they can't deal with their shit, one or both will have to leave. I doubt if anything I say will have any influence on the matter.
I guess I have been lucky as any problem players I've had have been the newcomer who simply doesn't get invited again. But if the problem arose, I would try to identify if the issue is one player or both. If it's one player, I might give him a chance to correct the issue and then dump him if he doesn't. If it is both players, I'd let them know they need to leave their issues outside the game or neither is coming back (unless one is my friend and the other is not, in which case the choice is obvious).
First rule is to seperate the two people if possible so they don't interact with each other. Second option is to have a sit down with a third party/mediator in this case clearly the GM and get them to hash it out. In some cases this works, in most it doesn't in my experience.
Quote from: Technomancer;975680How do you prefer to deal with it when one or more of your players has a problem with another? Do you hash it out as a group? Do you want them to discuss it privately and handle it between themselves if possible? Or do you prefer that everything go through you, as GM, and you act as mediator in any disputes, even if they could have conceivably handled it themselves?
Tell them to cut it out and take it away from the game.
If they can't and keep on bickering, or whatever they are doing, tell them it is affecting your enjoyment of the game and other players' enjoyment of the game.
You could try to find out what the problem is and try to solve it, but that could put you in a difficult position and make you take sides, which is never a good idea.
Quote from: Technomancer;975691In this particular case it's a play by post game. Does that affect how you would handle it?
Not really, although "Cut it out" still works.
It makes it harder to get involved, personally, which is probably for the best.
Quote from: Gronan of Simmerya;975703"Cut that shit out."
I really wish we add the XP system and/or laugh points. Cause this deserved both!
In my experience being direct (as suggested above) but doing so in a constructive manner is best. This is, after all, a pastime. So I would just be direct but calm.
"Gents, I run RPGs for fun. You play them for fun. We are all gamer buds. If you were watching two of the other players bickering about out-of-game stuff would you want that taking up valuable gaming time?"
If you are close to these players, maybe offer to go to coffee and arbitrate. Maybe they just need a new perspective to get over the conflict? If not, ask them to keep it out of your gaming stuff and tell them you're rooting for them. I always let people know "even though I don't want to deal with this right now, I'm happy to help you outside the game if I can be of any help."
Although I love to be tactless on theRPGtsite (90% tongue in cheek) I find that people have feelings (they do!) and when you form a gaming group it goes a little bit beyond the neighborhood quarterly BBQ gathering in belonging and motivation. Although the socially awkward ego inside me despises having to maneuver the social landscape, the loving bleeding-heart just likes making people happy.
Quote from: Technomancer;975680How do you prefer to deal with it when one or more of your players has a problem with another? Do you hash it out as a group? Do you want them to discuss it privately and handle it between themselves if possible? Or do you prefer that everything go through you, as GM, and you act as mediator in any disputes, even if they could have conceivably handled it themselves?
Depends on how severe the problem is and how deeply are they invested in the problem. Most adults respond to Gronan's well said "Cut that shit out." If it persists beyond that, just eject the unruly player of your choice. I am also not adverse to PvP in game because I expect the Players to handle their own shit and killing off the character of a jackass removes them from the game.
I am there to play the game or act as GM, not engage in Human Resources style conflict resolution. This is my fun, not my job.
Handle it, quickly. Don't let it fester and get progressively worse.
It really depends a lot on the situation: are the players engaged in a temporary conflict due to some specific incident? Or do they have a long-term dislike for each other that fundamentally comes down to a serious clash of personalities? Is the problem due to something that happened at the gaming table, or something outside the gaming group? Does it involve the other players/GM or is it something that is a problem between just the two of them?
There are some cases where sitting them both down together (sometimes, depending on some of the above circumstances, with the whole group present, or other times just them) and having them hash it out until some sort of resolution is reached. But there are also many times when it is fairly quickly evident to me that the player feud is going to be pretty well impossible to resolve, and one or both players will need to leave the group.
My response is: "I'm not your Mum, I'm not your social worker, I'm not your referee either, stop wasting my limited gaming time and sort your shit out somewhere else!"
One or both will not be invited again.
I think a quick reminder of, "Hey. We're all adults here. Work that crap out or find your way out of the game."
Second chances are good. There are no third chances.
Quote from: Altheus;976421My response is: "I'm not your Mum, I'm not your social worker, I'm not your referee either, stop wasting my limited gaming time and sort your shit out somewhere else!"
Well, if you're playing Traveller you will be their referee. :D
Tell them to sort their shit out outside of game time. If they won't or can't then invite them not to participate further.