Quote from: ThatChrisGuy;933600I need a workout program and I have to say you guys aren't selling me on this one...

The thing about those programs is, they really are only designed for people who already do extreme cross-training workouts, to the point where their body no longer responds to traditional or even crazyass workouts.  If your Core is not already stable and strong, from being involved in some kind of regular sport activity - not Gym-based isolation exercises, you're gonna likely end up like our Intestinally Wounded friends above (although it sounds like Tenbones only exacerbated a previously undetected problem).  This is not a "I played Football 30 years ago and want to get back into shape." program.  It's more like "I've hit a plateau in training for my next Ironman Triathlon" program.

But, if you get everything to blow out the front, and not the bottom, chicks dig scars.

This thread is so getting closed.

Quick, someone share a funny back-in-the-day VtM anecdote.

Quote from: The Butcher;933647This thread is so getting closed.

Quick, someone share a funny back-in-the-day VtM anecdote.

This one time, at band camp, I playes VTM... and it sucked!  

*ba dum ching*

Quote from: Doc Sammy;933503Guess I never looked at it that way. Tell you what, I'll give personal horror a second chance on one condition. Read my multi-crossover crack fic "The New Jersey Project" (linked below in my signature) and tell me what you think of my dark comedy crossover so far. I've posted four chapters out of fifty and I just started writing it yesterday morning.

Are you asking for my professional opinion? I do developmental editing for fiction on the side. Of course I'll have to charge you.

Quote from: Doc Sammy;933503I need to do some thinking in regards to my stance on personal horror. Maybe I've been looking at it wrong. Darren MacLerran, Martin Ericsson, and the toxic White Wolf fanbase have not helped my perception.

What you fail to see, despite me and others telling you several times, is you're defining your notion of personal horror based upon the opinions of idiots that are likewise trying to define to you what personal horror *isn't*. Meanwhile you continue to actually illustrate what personal horrors you're living through in Roanoke without actually realizing *that* is the very "personal" part of "personal horror" that you're blatantly ignoring that is perfect fodder for the intention of WoD.

Don't let others define things for you. And worse, don't react by clinging to the opposition of a misrepresentation (Darren MacLerran's views for example) to be your only response. That still means they're defining the conditions of your understanding. That's not good.

Quote from: Opaopajr;933579OMG, another one! I was on Power 90, the predecessor to P90X. That's how I 'pulled my ass' and blew out my asshole, ending up stuck in the Reclining Buddha pose with the equivalent of a red hot poker in the ass... for four years! Gained everything back and then some. Thankfully I finally waitlisted for indigent surgery after all that time and had the offending perpetually strangled thrombosis removed.

TMI!

I just lost another four years to resultant septisemia and colitis, and now in delicate recovery isolating food irritants as I heal internally. (Read: After full body "lactic acid burning agony" of blood poisoning, I survived to poop my life away for the following four years.) After the 7th bowel movement in a five hour period, I don't care how strong you think you are, you're gonna need a walker to reach your bed and a nap.

But hot damn if that program whips your ass in into shape (if you can survive it).

Wow. Yeah I guess we earned the Die-Harder Achievement.  Good lord, your situation sounds a lot worse than mine - and mine was ugly (Still is). I'm still planning on going back to P90. LOLOLOL yeah... I'm crazy.

Quote from: The Butcher;933554Man, that sucks. (I re-noodle guttywuts for a living.) Here's hoping you're making a full and uncomplicated recovery.

thanks Butcher!

Ok Doc - this one is a freebie.

I glanced at your fiction. I got two-paragraphs in before the passive voice put my ass to sleep.

Quote from: tenbones;933921Ok Doc - this one is a freebie.

I glanced at your fiction. I got two-paragraphs in before the passive voice put my ass to sleep.

Even worse than the Passive Voice and no internal dialogue at all is that the entire thing, like many fanfics, is just a Stream of Consciousness Passive Aggressive argument against whatever the author wants to yell about.

Quote from: CRKrueger;933935Even worse than the Passive Voice and no internal dialogue at all is that the entire thing, like many fanfics, is just a Stream of Consciousness Passive Aggressive argument against whatever the author wants to yell about.

You might say it's Personal Horror from a Malkavian that doesn't quite realize they're crazy...

I'm trying to keep the thread on course... I'm trying!

Quote from: CRKrueger;933935Even worse than the Passive Voice and no internal dialogue at all is that the entire thing, like many fanfics, is just a Stream of Consciousness Passive Aggressive argument against whatever the author wants to yell about.

That's sort of the whole point of The New Jersey Project

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StylisticSuck

Regardless of how poorly written it is, it does illustrate a good point.

Joss Whedon's Firefly does stink worse than an anchovy's cunt.

To keep things on topic, Firefly is more repulsive than the ugliest Nosferatu.

Quote from: Doc Sammy;933945That's sort of the whole point of The New Jersey Project.

You realize that this trope when used is done as part of a larger narrative that does not, in fact, suck? You don't write the entire manuscript as-shitty and then pull out this link and say, "I'm doing it on purpose. See? It's a trope!"

As I tell other would-be author's in various ways - commit or get the fuck out.

Vampire should be played the same way.

Quote from: tenbones;933489I had a small umbilical hernia. P90X made it a softball sized hernia filled with noodles. Never knew you could squeeze that much intestine through a half-inch hole. As I'm a ball-spiking overachiever, I went for the fucking gold and came up platinum, only I didn't realize I was competing in the event called - "How to overdo it".

I'd had the hernia for some time it was tiny, but it wasn't until I started getting in shape I really aggravated it. It finally went kablooooey. They had to split me open and re-noodle my guttywuts.

In celebration of my survival my brother now has me signed up for a Spartan race next autumn... I might be a dumbass.

Edit: I'm convinced this is part of my real life WoD prelude. <---see? I'm on topic!

Damn best wishes for a speedy recovery, man

Quote from: tenbones;933952You realize that this trope when used is done as part of a larger narrative that does not, in fact, suck? You don't write the entire manuscript as-shitty and then pull out this link and say, "I'm doing it on purpose. See? It's a trope!"

As I tell other would-be author's in various ways - commit or get the fuck out.

Vampire should be played the same way.

Yeah, that trope requires a narrative that's actually good for this to be a suckass sub-narrative of.  But that trope has always been horseshit to begin with.  It's nothing more than hedging your bets and sucking "on purpose" simply because you don't have the capability or talent to actually pull off making it not suck.

Quote from: tenbones;933919Wow. Yeah I guess we earned the Die-Harder Achievement.  Good lord, your situation sounds a lot worse than mine - and mine was ugly (Still is). I'm still planning on going back to P90. LOLOLOL yeah... I'm crazy.

Eh, still ongoing. Dabbled in the program in my 20s (and my, does even a month of the first phase work!). And yup, I have the VHS copy. But when I got another disease in my 30s I was told by my doctors to go exercise.

Threw my old cassettes on and went back to the boot camp, as it were. However, what one can blithely do in ones 20s does not apply in ones 30s. In fact, I pretty much lost my entire 30s to this execise related injury.
 

But recovery is a process... and nowhere nearly as instantly gratifying as french fries.

(Doc Sammy, I too love passive voice. It mimics certain things about tone, class, and regionalisms that cannot be adequately duplicated elsewhere. Yet since active voice is the business norm, and many readers have become acculturated to a fast paced society, attention is, well, lost through speaking passively to them...

A little goes a long way, nowadays. Writing paragraph sentences, a la Clauswitz and Locke, are no longer in fashion. Besides, like Bauhaus, less is more -- especially if this is your first draft. Active voice clears up the page. Then it's easier to go back and deliberately insert tone and voice.)

edit: (Doc Sammy, I just read that thing and well... it's a screed. Anything meta- about it in deference to fanfic's general craptastic-ness is lost in its poor quality. It's too aware to be "so bad it's good!", too venting to have a point, and too unaware to show any restraint. And it is also too short to seem genuine, as different from most of the other fanfics I've seen.

I really hope this was more of a joke excercise than something in which you are investing your heart. Show the talent first, show the skill learned so far, and then once mastered try to break the rules. I don't intend to be mean, but it comes off as half-assed trollolol than actual effort, even faux misguided effort.)

Quote from: Opaopajr;933977Eh, still ongoing. Dabbled in the program in my 20s (and my, does even a month of the first phase work!). And yup, I have the VHS copy. But when I got another disease in my 30s I was told by my doctors to go exercise.

Threw my old cassettes on and went back to the boot camp, as it were. However, what one can blithely do in ones 20s does not apply in ones 30s. In fact, I pretty much lost my entire 30s to this execise related injury.
 

But recovery is a process... and nowhere nearly as instantly gratifying as french fries.

(Doc Sammy, I too love passive voice. It mimics certain things about tone, class, and regionalisms that cannot be adequately duplicated elsewhere. Yet since active voice is the business norm, and many readers have become acculturated to a fast paced society, attention is, well, lost through speaking passively to them...

A little goes a long way, nowadays. Writing paragraph sentences, a la Clauswitz and Locke, are no longer in fashion. Besides, like Bauhaus, less is more -- especially if this is your first draft. Active voice clears up the page. Then it's easier to go back and deliberately insert tone and voice.)

edit: (Doc Sammy, I just read that thing and well... it's a screed. Anything meta- about it in deference to fanfic's general craptastic-ness is lost in its poor quality. It's too aware to be "so bad it's good!", too venting to have a point, and too unaware to show any restraint. And it is also too short to seem genuine, as different from most of the other fanfics I've seen.

I really hope this was more of a joke excercise than something in which you are investing your heart. Show the talent first, show the skill learned so far, and then once mastered try to break the rules. I don't intend to be mean, but it comes off as half-assed trollolol than actual effort, even faux misguided effort.)

It was mostly a ranty joke done out of catharsis. I sincerely do want to write decent fanfics that aren't so ranty and silly. One with actual stories and character develop instead of fictional mobsters trolling writers I don't like.