There is at least one game I know of that is all about dating - this isn't about that.

Nor is it about sexual activity in games - all groups have their defaults for this, from ignore it - to fade to black - to 'Too much information'.

It's more about significant others and friends and family.

In our games the PC's romantic attachments and other close attachments are usually a running sub-plot, which seems to give the characters a more rounded feel - man or woman can't live by bread and bullets alone after all. And as well as generally making PCs seem more 'real', occasionally such relationships impact on the main focus of the game.

Two examples:

In our 2FT game a PC unexpectedly met up with the love of her life and restarted a passionate affair. This not only made her crap at investigating the case she was working on, but led to her finding out the guy was working for the opposition and had only slept with her again to find out what she knew. (Yeah, it sort of went from pulp to noir in that game.)

In a Western one-shot, two brothers and a sister reunited after many years to stop their mother being run off the family ranch. Problem was, no one really liked Ma, as she was a evil old ratbag who had made everyone's life a misery all through childhood. But she's still your Ma, right?

Do the PC's in your games have lives aside from 'the job' (however that is defined) that appears in actual play?

If not why not? If so, why?

Quote from: Gruntfuttock;363392In our games the PC's romantic attachments and other close attachments are usually a running sub-plot, which seems to give the characters a more rounded feel - man or woman can't live by bread and bullets alone after all. And as well as generally making PCs seem more 'real', occasionally such relationships impact on the main focus of the game.

I like the adventurers in the games I run to become a part of the world rather than wandering bands of mercenary thugs, so I encourage the players to involve their characters in organizations in the game-world, establish a residence, and build relationships of all sorts with non-player characters, including romance. I like them to think about family and heirs - Pendragon is very cool for this.

In my experience, if a referee encourages this, one needs to be cautious about then making those roots the adventurers in the game-world the constant target of the antagonists or risk the characters all turning into James Caan at the end of Thief.

Quote from: The Shaman;363402I like the adventurers in the games I run to become a part of the world rather than wandering bands of mercenary thugs, so I encourage the players to involve their characters in organizations in the game-world, establish a residence, and build relationships of all sorts with non-player characters, including romance. I like them to think about family and heirs - Pendragon is very cool for this.

In my experience, if a referee encourages this, one needs to be cautious about then making those roots the adventurers in the game-world the constant target of the antagonists or risk the characters all turning into James Caan at the end of Thief.

Bingo! My games are the same, PCs with long term relationships, families, and roots. I don't say hands off the families, but I do say it will be an extra-ordinary event if their families are directly targeted. That seems to work really well.

-clash

Quote from: The Shaman;363402In my experience, if a referee encourages this, one needs to be cautious about then making those roots the adventurers in the game-world the constant target of the antagonists or risk the characters all turning into James Caan at the end of Thief.

That last point is very important, from my point of view. If you want your players to have strong ties to their communities, with membership in various groups and organizations, allegiances, family, friends, children etc, then these must be good, beneficial things for them on the long run, not only obstacles or goals for them to save/reach all the time.

They should not become tools for the DM to constantly harass the character, or they become flaws, weaknesses, from the player's POV, and are later discarded.

If these relationships actually enrich the game and bring something beneficial to the characters, then they will be seen by the players as worth their occasional troubles, if not essential to the campaign's entertainment.

Yes.

We use a system called GuildSchool, which is predicated on the inclusion and involvement of each PC in one or more inter-related guilds or factions in the world at large.

In addition, the game is set up so that adventuring is done for a reason, and is not the sole focus of the game.  What the PCS do with the wealth, items and information they gather is as much of the real focus as anything else.

And to answer the relationship questions...absolutely.  I want devolve totally into it, but we have married characters, even 1 character with children.  (who was kidnapped...I have no shame...but the quest to save his daughter was an amazing, amazing set of games)

Our group has had in-game marriages, relationships, ugly breakups, flings. Much of it is implied, and we only deal with the engaging stuff "on-screen."

I don't think I've ever kidnapped a significant other or endangered them as a plot hook -- I just don't find that interesting.

I've had relationships, romances, etc. They're pretty common in my games. I've noticed a good chance of heroes to "adopt" children and or make themselves responsible for more than they intended as play goes on. It's kind of funny is despite the seemingly strange nature of Pc's that they reach back into being social in my games on their own.

Our Deadlands campaign has a lot of that... one player has a PC who regularly leaves the game to go home for a while to wife and kids. My character is always worried about sending home money to provide for his while he is away.
One of the characters has a company that needs looking after.
The families are motivators... stabilizers... resources... but haven't been used against us (yet)... though a couple of NPC friends have been kidnapped a few times too many for my liking.

Our Earthdawn characters seem to have no family at all. Same players as the Deadlands group... with a different GM.
Hmmm... I wonder if that's part of the dissatisfaction I'm feeling with our Earthdawn games.

In my Beatrix Potter game three of the PCs are related (mice) and all have large families. Most of the action is very close to home so siblings and parents and grandparents are on stage a lot.

Quote from: Silverlion;363439 I've noticed a good chance of heroes to "adopt" children and or make themselves responsible for more than they intended as play goes on.  

In my Victorian spy game, one of spys has legally adopted a 'street arab' who she first met when he was acting as a lookout for a villain who was stalking her. From being a nine-year old sleeping rough on the streets, he is now being raised as a proper gentleman. I even might end up playing him as an adult in a planned Edwardian game.

Quote from: Silverlion;363439I've noticed a good chance of heroes to "adopt" children and or make themselves responsible for more than they intended as play goes on. It's kind of funny is despite the seemingly strange nature of Pc's that they reach back into being social in my games on their own.

Two of the PCs in my Hunter campaign got involved with each other in one "season" and got pregnant in another. It's kind of diffcult fighting Carpenter-esque evil when your partner (whose partial to twogun face offs) has got a bun in the oven.

Regards,
David R

Quote from: David R;363539Two of the PCs in my Hunter campaign got involved with each other in one "season" and got pregnant in another. It's kind of diffcult fighting Carpenter-esque evil when your partner (whose partial to twogun face offs) has got a bun in the oven.

Regards,
David R

I know where you are coming from. Currently playing an investigator for a government monster bashing agency, who now lives with another (NPC) agent. It's taken as a given that contraception is a high priority for this couple.

Quote from: Gruntfuttock;363542I know where you are coming from. Currently playing an investigator for a government monster bashing agency, who now lives with another (NPC) agent. It's taken as a given that contraception is a high priority for this couple.

Agreed. It's these little details of verisimilitude that should be taken into consideration , IMO. The pregnancy in the campaign I mentioned was the players idea. I was a bit miffed though. I was hoping to use pregnancy as a means of deprotaganizing their characters...

Oh, and in case, nobody has said it yet, Welcome to theRPGsite.

Regards,
David R

When I can, I try to root my characters into the world, give them a life beyond adventuring.  My current Dune character has wife and 8 eight daughters and keeping them  out of Empire's plots is one of his main drives.
 
It can get problematic though when I find myself invested in the character's private life than his adventuring aspect. A few years ago I in a D&D campaign I was playing a character who's dream was to retire and open a casino; that is the only reason he went on adventures to save money. As a result he loathed to using magical items (especially thinks with a limited number of charges) because they had a substantial dollar value. It's a cute idea, but you can see how that doesn't really work in a game in which equipment is intended as part of character build.

Quote from: Gruntfuttock;363392Do the PC's in your games have lives aside from 'the job' (however that is defined) that appears in actual play?

If not why not? If so, why?

They usually do. From time to time someone will come with a PC who lost everything, and that usuallu ishe reason for the PC to get engaged in the game, so is no problem, we don't always have a loner in te PC group. Also, the lone wolf usually longs for the relationships the other people in the group have (a very human reaction), so they end creating such relationships. So, it's not a big deal.

I don't believe that the lone wolf stereotypical PC is a sustainable PC, from a psychological viewpoint. We like tocreate believable people, not the usual psychopath. So, if some PC has no relationship or ties, usualy is against his will, a big part of his backstory.

Quote from: flyingmice;363405Bingo! My games are the same, PCs with long term relationships, families, and roots. I don't say hands off the families, but I do say it will be an extra-ordinary event if their families are directly targeted. That seems to work really well.

-clash

The same I do. Only in horror games the families and SOs of the PCs are targeted by the bad guys, and I seldom do it.

Quote from: David R;363539Two of the PCs in my Hunter campaign got involved with each other in one "season" and got pregnant in another. It's kind of diffcult fighting Carpenter-esque evil when your partner (whose partial to twogun face offs) has got a bun in the oven.

Regards,
David R

My last High Valor game ended up with a heavily pregnant (before the PC's arrived) NPC love interest. A few months of gameplay after her first child was born, she got pregnant by a PC in the group. Another NPC ended up pregnant by a PC, and a third not for want of trying. That game was heavily social. It's amusing to me that NPC's I intended to be one shot people appearing in a single session were so interesting the PC's came involved in there lives, and some NPC's intended to last more than one session. (Often there foes.) Rarely lasted that long.

I fade to black on the actual intimate encounters, but the people themselves create a draw.