Got it, reading it.

Overall it's looking really really good. I like the art, and the opening fiction was awesome.

I will post any mistakes I find here in this post until it get's too buried and then move it up in the post count, that way all my contributions will be in one place and maybe it'll save others from having to post about the same items.

Page 3, 3rd line from the bottom in the left hand column, the word "peripheral" is misspelled "periferal".

Page 6, first sentence in the Saving Throws section references "Arcana". As I couldn't find any other references to arcana in a quick glance-through I'm assuming this is a hold-over from some other application.

Just my $0.02 here, but in point 5 in the Combat Round section, last sentence you say "standing up from being knocked down". Would it perhaps be better to say "standing up from prone", because there are more reasons than just being knocked down for one to be prone. Nitpick, I know, but if this is too nitpicky let me know and I fill widen the spaces between the teeth of my comb.

Page 6, last sentence of the Conviction section. The word "overconfident" is misspelled "overcondent".

Page 8, under the Wisdom subsection of the Non-existent Abilities section, the word "effects" is misspelled "e.ects".

In between the ending of the Soricid racial description and what seems to be the next section is a picture, but no section heading or any other indication that the soricid description has ended and a new subject has begun.

The last sentence in the opening paragraph on elemental nymphs states that ghost soricid have a +2 level adjustment. As this is very clearly stated in the ghost soricid section itself, my opinion is that this sentence is redundant and could be removed with no ill effects.

I'm going to stop reading now as my wife and baby will be home soon. I will pick up again most likely later this evening. So far you have created a really great thing here Z, great job, thanks for letting me have the priviledge of checking it out. :bow:

Quote from: SigmundOverall it's looking really really good. I like the art, and the opening fiction was awesome.

Thanks.

QuotePage 3, 3rd line from the bottom in the left hand column, the word "peripheral" is spelled "periferal".

Duly noted.

QuotePage 6, first sentence in the Saving Throws section references "Arcana". As I couldn't find any other references to arcana in a quick glance-through I'm assuming this is a hold-over from some other application.

Yes, some of the rules were copied from an earlier edition of the True20 rules, and "arcana" was one of the terms I changed. But, I missed one.

Quote from: SigmundJust my $0.02 here, but in point 5 in the Combat Round section, last sentence you say "standing up from being knocked down". Would it perhaps be better to say "standing up from prone", because there are more reasons than just being knocked down for one to be prone. Nitpick, I know, but if this is too nitpicky let me know and I fill widen the spaces between the teeth of my comb.

Page 6, last sentence of the Conviction section. The word "overconfident" is misspelled "overcondent".

Keep them coming... you are helping me greatly.

Quote from: SigmundI'm going to stop reading now as my wife and baby will be home soon. I will pick up again most likely later this evening. So far you have created a really great thing here Z, great job, thanks for letting me have the priviledge of checking it out. :bow:

All of your suggestions are very good and I will incorporate them in an edited release. As I think most of the changes will be minor fixes, it should not take me long to edit it and get it back out.

Quote from: SigmundOverall it's looking really really good. I like the art, and the opening fiction was awesome.

I will post any mistakes I find here in this post until it get's too buried and then move it up in the post count, that way all my contributions will be in one place and maybe it'll save others from having to post about the same items.

Page 3, 3rd line from the bottom in the left hand column, the word "peripheral" is misspelled "periferal".

Page 6, first sentence in the Saving Throws section references "Arcana". As I couldn't find any other references to arcana in a quick glance-through I'm assuming this is a hold-over from some other application.

Just my $0.02 here, but in point 5 in the Combat Round section, last sentence you say "standing up from being knocked down". Would it perhaps be better to say "standing up from prone", because there are more reasons than just being knocked down for one to be prone. Nitpick, I know, but if this is too nitpicky let me know and I fill widen the spaces between the teeth of my comb.

Page 6, last sentence of the Conviction section. The word "overconfident" is misspelled "overcondent".

Page 8, under the Wisdom subsection of the Non-existent Abilities section, the word "effects" is misspelled "e.ects".

In between the ending of the Soricid racial description and what seems to be the next section is a picture, but no section heading or any other indication that the soricid description has ended and a new subject has begun.

The last sentence in the opening paragraph on elemental nymphs states that ghost soricid have a +2 level adjustment. As this is very clearly stated in the ghost soricid section itself, my opinion is that this sentence is redundant and could be removed with no ill effects.

I'm going to stop reading now as my wife and baby will be home soon. I will pick up again most likely later this evening. So far you have created a really great thing here Z, great job, thanks for letting me have the priviledge of checking it out. :bow:

On page 23, the Heading for the Technites path is at the very bottom of the lefthand column, but the description text starts at the top of the righthand column. Bringing these two things together would be a Good Thing.

On page 23, in the beginning of the section on Spellcasters, the text states, "Depending on the manifestation of the supernatural in the setting, spellcasters may be widely known and respected (or feared) for their
powers, or operate entirely behind the scenes." I would say that since this is for a specific setting it might be more useful to describe how the Spellcaster relates to the public in this setting specifically.

Since I haven't read through the whole book yet, I'm not sure if you haven't done this yet, but I'm typing it out so I don't read on and forget to come back to it. On page 24, in the section describing the Agriotes path you refer to rolling a d100. We all know what that means, but someone new to rping looking at your book as their first choice might not, so if ya don't describe somewhere how to roll a d100 ya might want to.

On page 26, the Pteraulos suffers the same problem as the Technites I described above.

On page 26, in the section on Rasputitsa, the next to last sentence says, "Almost all of them are utterly." Not sure what this means.

On page 28, in the Cataphract section you wrote, "They are armed with a long spear (kontos), long sword and light armor. Some also use a short bow or javelins. They wear heavy armor and their horses are barded." Does this mean there are 2 types of Cataphract? Ones who carry kontos, long sword, and light armor....and others who carry short bow, javelins, heavy armor, and have barded horses?

Page 30, in the section on Monachos, second sentence, youo wrote, "these are many ohers" instead of "there are many others".

A general suggestion I have is to provide a suggested group of feats and skills to select for each path at first level to provide novice players with a guide to how a character might start along each path. This would be useful especially for the martial artist paths.

Quote from: SigmundSince I haven't read through the whole book yet, I'm not sure if yoou haven't done this yet, but I'm typing it out so I don't read on and forget to come back to it. On page24, in the section describing the Agriotes path you refer to rolling a d100. We all know what that means, but someone new to rping looking at your book as their first choice might not, so if ya don't describe somewhere how to roll a d100 ya might want to.

Oh, come ON.  I think it's pretty damn safe to say that the chance of someone who has no familiarity with RPGs getting a hold of a PDF game by themselves, with no other gamers to help them figure out things, is exactly Zero.

Quote from: CyberzombieOh, come ON.  I think it's pretty damn safe to say that the chance of someone who has no familiarity with RPGs getting a hold of a PDF game by themselves, with no other gamers to help them figure out things, is exactly Zero.

Call me an optimist, but I'm thinking along the lines of if Z were to have this published in print form. So far I'm thinking it's certainly good enough. Besides, the noob wouldn't have to get ahold of it by themselves. It could be given to them by someone else.

Oh, and shut the hell up ya elitest...it was just a suggestion

The mentioning of a D100 roll was a mistake. I had intended to make a mishap table for the agriotes that featured a D100 roll, but opted for a D20 based roll instead... that way a single D20 can be used for all rolls in the game.

Quote from: SigmundOh, and shut the hell up ya elitest...it was just a suggestion

I'm not an elitist.  I'm a stuck-up arrogant prick.  Totally different.  :deviousgrin:

Our argument seems to be moot, anyway.  

Quote from: CyberzombieI'm not an elitist.  I'm a stuck-up arrogant prick.  Totally different.  :deviousgrin:

Our argument seems to be moot, anyway.  

It was one of the missed items in the conversion from D20 to True20, so yeah, it's moot. But I am very glad that Sigmund found that (and everything else), because I want the game to be as good as it can and be free of errors.

Quote from: CyberzombieI'm not an elitist.  I'm a stuck-up arrogant prick.  Totally different.  :deviousgrin:

Our argument seems to be moot, anyway.  

Oh sorry, let me rephrase...shut up ya stuck-up arrogant prick. It was just my opinion anyway.

Yeah, moot. :heh:

Quote from: SigmundOh sorry, let me rephrase...shut up ya stuck-up arrogant prick. It was just my opinion anyway.

Yeah, moot. :heh:

Moot!  moot moot moot moot moot moot moot!

I love that word.  

Quote from: CyberzombieMoot!  moot moot moot moot moot moot moot!

I love that word.  

I love a different word that starts with M...I doubt I need to remind anyone.

Quote from: SigmundI love a different word that starts with M...I doubt I need to remind anyone.

Hmm.  Nope, don't know it.  


I hope people clear out of the office today so I can do some printing!