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Perhaps the most retarded D&D figure

Started by honeydipperdavid, August 21, 2023, 03:55:57 PM

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honeydipperdavid

August 21, 2023, 03:55:57 PM
https://gnomishbazaar.com/collections/overstock-deals/products/d-d-nolzurs-marvelous-miniatures-human-clerics-90523

Just one phrase for this abomination existing: Healer Heal Thyself.

So let me get this right, a cleric, a wheel chair, when they have access to greater restoration, heal and regeneration.  Hell I'd kill myself and do a raise dead if I had to get out of a fucking chair.  No one wants to role play as someone who shits in a bag, no one.  You role play to be someone stronger, better, healthy, strong or attractive, not crippled.  Jesus F'n Christ how can the left be so morally deranged to the point where they don't understand the basics of humanity.  If you look like the hunchback from the 300, you damn well don't want to roleplay that character in real life.

JeremyR

#1
August 21, 2023, 09:18:24 PM
There are cultures around being disabled, where they reject cures to that disability, because that disability forms part of their lifestyle.

Deafness is the most obvious one. Even before cochlear implants, many deaf people wanted to force deaf people to rely on sign language and interpreters, as opposed to learning how to read lips and learning to speak.

OTOH, it's pretty common in D&D modules and such that somehow a ruler or rich person somehow cannot get a raise dead cast or other healing magic.

Exploderwizard

#2
August 22, 2023, 09:43:54 AM
Um. Why would you have a wheelchair bound miniature made for a game with rules that do not exist for crippling injuries and where anyone no matter how hurt is fine the next morning? Perhaps in a Hackmaster game, with brutal criticals, where one could get limbs hacked off you could market this guy along with the one legged dwarf kits, but for D&D it is senseless.
Quote from: JonWakeGamers, as a whole, are much like primitive cavemen when confronted with a new game. Rather than \'oh, neat, what\'s this do?\', the reaction is to decide if it\'s a sex hole, then hit it with a rock.

Quote from: Old Geezer;724252At some point it seems like D&D is going to disappear up its own ass.

Quote from: Kyle Aaron;766997In the randomness of the dice lies the seed for the great oak of creativity and fun. The great virtue of the dice is that they come without boxed text.

honeydipperdavid

#3
August 22, 2023, 10:04:00 AM
What makes it truly tarded, the character is a cleric.  Healer Heal Thyself.

Most people have been ill to the point where they have been bedridden at least one time in their life.  I have been and was dreaming of being able to walk or run.  The last fucking thing I'd want to do is roleplay as a cripple and relive that fucking nightmare.

Exploderwizard

#4
August 22, 2023, 11:33:53 AM
Quote from: honeydipperdavid on August 22, 2023, 10:04:00 AM
What makes it truly tarded, the character is a cleric.  Healer Heal Thyself.

Most people have been ill to the point where they have been bedridden at least one time in their life.  I have been and was dreaming of being able to walk or run.  The last fucking thing I'd want to do is roleplay as a cripple and relive that fucking nightmare.

Not mention that for gamers who ARE handicapped permanently the last damn thing they want during their escapist fantasy game is to be reminded of their less than fantastic reality. It is their opportunity be someone else for a while.
Quote from: JonWakeGamers, as a whole, are much like primitive cavemen when confronted with a new game. Rather than \'oh, neat, what\'s this do?\', the reaction is to decide if it\'s a sex hole, then hit it with a rock.

Quote from: Old Geezer;724252At some point it seems like D&D is going to disappear up its own ass.

Quote from: Kyle Aaron;766997In the randomness of the dice lies the seed for the great oak of creativity and fun. The great virtue of the dice is that they come without boxed text.

Scooter

#5
August 22, 2023, 11:50:52 AM
Just about the stupidest D&D mini I've seen.  That I can remember
There is no saving throw vs. stupidity

Chris24601

#6
August 22, 2023, 12:01:04 PM
To be fair, I had a wizard who went everywhere on a Tenser's Floating Disk, but that was because he was a lazy showboater, not because he was disabled.

Exploderwizard

#7
August 22, 2023, 02:01:55 PM
Quote from: Chris24601 on August 22, 2023, 12:01:04 PM
To be fair, I had a wizard who went everywhere on a Tenser's Floating Disk, but that was because he was a lazy showboater, not because he was disabled.

Houserule? Not possible by RAW as the disc always follows the magic user.
Quote from: JonWakeGamers, as a whole, are much like primitive cavemen when confronted with a new game. Rather than \'oh, neat, what\'s this do?\', the reaction is to decide if it\'s a sex hole, then hit it with a rock.

Quote from: Old Geezer;724252At some point it seems like D&D is going to disappear up its own ass.

Quote from: Kyle Aaron;766997In the randomness of the dice lies the seed for the great oak of creativity and fun. The great virtue of the dice is that they come without boxed text.

Scooter

#8
August 22, 2023, 02:43:11 PM
Quote from: Exploderwizard on August 22, 2023, 02:01:55 PM
Quote from: Chris24601 on August 22, 2023, 12:01:04 PM
To be fair, I had a wizard who went everywhere on a Tenser's Floating Disk, but that was because he was a lazy showboater, not because he was disabled.

Houserule? Not possible by RAW as the disc always follows the magic user.

LOL, kids were always trying that in my game
There is no saving throw vs. stupidity

honeydipperdavid

#9
August 22, 2023, 02:45:51 PM
Quote from: Scooter on August 22, 2023, 02:43:11 PM
Quote from: Exploderwizard on August 22, 2023, 02:01:55 PM
Quote from: Chris24601 on August 22, 2023, 12:01:04 PM
To be fair, I had a wizard who went everywhere on a Tenser's Floating Disk, but that was because he was a lazy showboater, not because he was disabled.

Houserule? Not possible by RAW as the disc always follows the magic user.

LOL, kids were always trying that in my game

Nowadays they try to ride mobile turrets for artificers for their gnomes to get 30' of movement.  They do it till their turret explodes, then they learn risk vs reward.  Fun is had, gnome balls are blown off, alls good.

blackstone

#10
August 22, 2023, 03:11:32 PM Last Edit: August 25, 2023, 08:10:18 AM by blackstone
What the actual fuck...

This...this is just...wrong.

Who the hell thinks that this a GOOD thing?

The last thing I'd want if I was disabled is to play a DISABLED FANTASY CHARACTER.

EDIT: This just came to mind: this makes absolutely no fucking sense because you have a fantasy game where mid to high level Clerics can CAST HEAL for fuck sake. This alone would negate having handicapped adventurers.
1. I'm a married homeowner with a career and kids. I won life. You can't insult me.

2. I've been deployed to Iraq, so your tough guy act is boring.

GhostNinja

#11
August 22, 2023, 04:07:12 PM
Quote from: blackstone on August 22, 2023, 03:11:32 PM
What the actual fuck...

This...this is just...wrong.

Who the hell thinks that this a GOOD thing?

The last thing I'd want if I was disabled is to play a DISABLED FANTASY CHARACTER.

I am trying to figure out who A) thought this was a good idea and B) gave it the greenlight thinking it would make them tons of money.
Ghostninja

VisionStorm

#12
August 22, 2023, 05:37:16 PM Last Edit: August 22, 2023, 05:41:44 PM by VisionStorm
I could've sworn I saw this at least a year or more ago, around the time of the dungeon wheelchair controversy. They had some figurines for dual wielding barbarians and stuff.

EDIT:



EDIT2: Freaking reddit won't let me share the image directly...
https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/l79g8b/dd_dungeons_and_diversity_the_new_combat/

OK, this one should load...

Exploderwizard

#13
August 22, 2023, 06:04:10 PM
Quote from: VisionStorm on August 22, 2023, 05:37:16 PM
I could've sworn I saw this at least a year or more ago, around the time of the dungeon wheelchair controversy. They had some figurines for dual wielding barbarians and stuff.

EDIT:



EDIT2: Freaking reddit won't let me share the image directly...
https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/l79g8b/dd_dungeons_and_diversity_the_new_combat/

OK, this one should load...


Oh I would paint up all of these as wrinkled old farts and use them as the silver horde from Discworld.
Quote from: JonWakeGamers, as a whole, are much like primitive cavemen when confronted with a new game. Rather than \'oh, neat, what\'s this do?\', the reaction is to decide if it\'s a sex hole, then hit it with a rock.

Quote from: Old Geezer;724252At some point it seems like D&D is going to disappear up its own ass.

Quote from: Kyle Aaron;766997In the randomness of the dice lies the seed for the great oak of creativity and fun. The great virtue of the dice is that they come without boxed text.

VisionStorm

#14
August 22, 2023, 06:34:28 PM
Quote from: Exploderwizard on August 22, 2023, 06:04:10 PM
Quote from: VisionStorm on August 22, 2023, 05:37:16 PM
*snip*

Oh I would paint up all of these as wrinkled old farts and use them as the silver horde from Discworld.

They look pretty cool as a goof. It's the fact that some people seriously pushed for "combat wheelchairs" and "accessible dungeons" for woke points* that makes them retarded. These were made in response to that. Otherwise I have no issue with them, in their proper (comedic) context.

*not that there was ever any real demand for that. But gotta scrounge nerd hobbies for any signs of not being woke enough to paint them as "bigots". And that month, it was about how D&D dungeons had no wheelchair accessibility ramps. And this was "ableist". Somehow.
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