[Mase vs. the RPGPundit] Board Game

[KrakaJak]

I got this idea while reading Matt Staggs'(aka Mattormegs) Blog.
 
I issue a challenge to the of members of the RPG site:
 
Imagine characters based off of the RPGPundit and Me (KrakaJak) in your favorite (or un-favorite) RPG setting. Then fight 'em. Write a paragraph or two describing the fight in a dramatic and entertaining fashion.
 
Remember, you don't need any REAL info about us, just what you imagine us to be like. Bonus points if you actually Stat us up.
 
I'm gonna start working on mine.

[KrakaJak]

Dramatis Personae:
Kera Kajac (aka Me) - Eclipse Caste Solar Exalt
 
Script of Gravel, Unending Vituperator of the Decahedron Games (aka. Pundit) - Chosen of Battles Sidereal Exalt
 
 
"Do you have the piece?"
Both accusing and condemning Kera Kajac in the same sentence.
"It is a great and important artifact. If you don't have it or if you've messed it up somehow... I may become so angry that I will cut off my own scrotum and bleed all over your shoes!"
"Whoa...calm down! I've got it."
Kerac pulls the carved wood piece in question. A piece he recently found in a destitute Manse in Uraguay.
Rubbing the smooth bowl with his thumb, Kera thinks to himself: Whoever this man is, this smoking pipe is very important to him. It's as if his very identity depends on it.
"Give it to me, if you don't do as I say I will rip my eyballs out with a fork and place them in your ears so you might see my point!"
Kerac entertains this image. Smiles and comes up with a quick ruse.
"Here you go..." Kera holds out the pipe,
"Psych!"
Kerac blurts while throwing the pipe, the essence used in the throw streams behind as it travels past the mountaintops. "First one to it get's to keep it".
 
Dropping his false identity in his anger, Script of Gravel's Exalted countanence shows forth. He starts punching himself.
"I don't like this game! It's so terrible, in fact, I I have given myself two black eyes and I am chewing on pushpins, so that my face looks like a sideways menstrual cycle."
Kera, rather confused, responds with a Solar back elbow and begins running in the direction of the artifact pipe.
 
Kera Kajac Spends a month running after the pipe. He finds some others who are also interested in chasing after the same pipe. They journey together and have a good time.
 
In the end, this never happened. Script of Gravel is in his Manse in Uraguay, enjoying his pipe.

[James McMurray]

Dude. Trust me. Put down the pipe and walk away.