I couldn't find a general lodge where I can post the "Hello World" thread, so I might as well have it here, since i have something to talk about other than the requisite hand-waving.
I'm almost finished making the first module in a series of Campaign Adventures linked together similar to Expeditions which I've titled "Living Parnast," where the party goes to the Village of Parnast (from Hoard of the Dragon Queen) and rebuild the city. Throughout the many modules, which will spread from Tyranny of Dragons on through Curse of Strahd and beyond, the party will see Parnast grow along with their characters, as they address not just your basic encounters and dungeon crawling, but also have reguilar villians, address topics that mirror those they might find IRL, and help with some struggles that occur in the official camapigns although not be a direct part of.
I'm gearing the campaign to be Honobono D&D 5E, where while using Fifth Edition, will have a more family and even children-friendly campaign for younger folk to get into an RPG with a more well-known game system, I'll also be employing and developing my own gameplay engines that will work on top of the 5E basic rules to assist the gameplay, such as using a deck of cards instead of dice, and an expandable map to show the expansion of the village.
Right now I'm just a few illustrations away from publishing the first module (yes, I'll be adding my own illustrations) to the GM's Guild. In the meantime, I'd like to find a place where I can open up discussions on the series. I wanted to have a social site that is available, open to new ideas, and doesn't have much dramas like you'd find on some other social media sites. I heard that theRPGsite might quality as such a place, but I'd like to know what you'd think about the above project first. If you have any suggestions on how I can set something up here, I'd appreciate hearing it.
Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.
Welcome!
Do you have any links to any of the material you'd care to share?
Hmmm. I think I have the text of the module down to the point where I can share it, even though I haven't gotten all the graphics inked yet.
http://1drv.ms/20UehL7
After all, I'd like someone to give it a once over and provide me of some feedback anyway, especially on where those typos are hiding.
I just hope that I didn't just ask for another verbal trashing by sending you this link, because I had a lot of vitrolic discussions about my work before. I asked for people about helping me proofread, only to be told that I'm so 'functionally illiterate' that I should go back to remedial college and post the homework for all to see. I can show you the exact point in time where I left the web comic scene when someone demanded to know--over a G-rated comic about a cartoon mouse in a human world--how many dates I had with a 'real woman.' And that's just the latest denigrating commentries I got for my work.
So forgive me if I'm feeling a bit gun-shy at this time. The most I'll ask, however, is just civility. I just hope that creating RPG modules for the DMs Guild is somewhat more welcoming than what I'm 'used to'.
Well, just at first glance, I agree that there are a lot of typos, spelling and grammar errors. I don't know if you've got any ambitions to professional publishing, down the road, but if so, for-pay companies expect error-free copy, and will reject subs on which they have to do wholesale cleanup.
Something I can't emphasize enough is terse writing; don't pen a word more than you need to do to get the point across. Let's take this sentence:
QuoteThe adventurers in this, the Living Parnast campaign, have been gathered under the leadership of the new Lord, Justin Mercurial, to deal with the stragglers left behind after the former campaign's events and retake the village to establish a communications link between the Sword Coast and the Moonsea regions.
This should be: "The new Lord, Justin Mercurial, has gathered the adventurers to deal with stragglers after the events of the former campaign, retake the village, and to establish communications between the Sword Coast and the Moonsea regions." Stragglers are "left behind" by definition, there's no need to mention the "Living Parnast campaign" when the module makes quite clear that this is it, and why "communications link" instead of "communications?"
It's a long document to go through at 3 AM, but one other thing that struck me was Lord Justin's stutter. Two very common elements in stuttering involve syllable (as opposed to letter) repetition, as well as fricatives such as "th."
Quote from: Ravenswing;881004Well, just at first glance, I agree that there are a lot of typos, spelling and grammar errors. I don't know if you've got any ambitions to professional publishing, down the road, but if so, for-pay companies expect error-free copy, and will reject subs on which they have to do wholesale cleanup.
Yeah, I kinda expect that. I thought about getting into professional publishing earlier, but nowadays, not so much. I need some help with the proofreading duties, and if you don't have the money for it, you just don't get it. I'd like to have someone help me out here, at least to get it more presentable, which is why I'm posting here.
I also intend to print out the document so I can read it over. I just need to get a new ink cart for my printer. That too costs money I didn't have for over two weeks.
QuoteSomething I can't emphasize enough is terse writing; don't pen a word more than you need to do to get the point across. Let's take this sentence:[/COLOR]
This should be: "The new Lord, Justin Mercurial, has gathered the adventurers to deal with stragglers after the events of the former campaign, retake the village, and to establish communications between the Sword Coast and the Moonsea regions." Stragglers are "left behind" by definition, there's no need to mention the "Living Parnast campaign" when the module makes quite clear that this is it, and why "communications link" instead of "communications?"
That would've been caught once I printed the document out and read through. Something that I'll have the funds for later on this week.
QuoteIt's a long document to go through at 3 AM, but one other thing that struck me was Lord Justin's stutter. Two very common elements in stuttering involve syllable (as opposed to letter) repetition, as well as fricatives such as "th."[/COLOR]
Another thing I'll check when I read it over. I was hoping that I didn't overdo his stutter, but having-ing him trip'ova syllab-ables seems to make for a better mental image and still have it readable.
Welcome to theRPGsite!
Quote from: RPGPundit;881419Welcome to theRPGsite!
Thank you for having me. I needed to find some alternate Social Media that doesn't have all the drama, and I've been told that this place would be good, especially when it's in the same genre I'm working in.
welcome nice to meet you .
if you need advice ask there's a lot of good advice to be had here
I figure that I can use this topic to provide some updates on Living Parnast, if you can pardon the bump.
I've got LP01-01 (the first module which was mentioned previously) printed out and I'm doing the proofreading now. I tend to do it offline using a binder; the printed text printed 'backwards' and punched on the right page so that the pages appear to the left of the binder, while I have lined paper on the right to write in the additions. Gives me a lot more room to work with.
In the meantime, I'm writing a bunch of articles, essays, and background material, including a couple extra scenes and encounters, to create a periodical that can cronicle my transition from my D&D campaigns, on to Living Parnast, and on through to my official destination, creating a 5E legal Campaign Setting I call Æthercoil. While this E-mag is there to get all of my notes together, as well as stuff I didn't want to put into a DM's Guild document, I felt that adding illustrations and giving it a polish will be good enough for others to see and give me some feedback on where I can improve on. (As long as it's civil, I'll listen to anything.)
The only question is where to put the E-Mag. I'd like to put it here if that's possible.