Dragon Issue 281: March 2001


part 4/7


The adventures of Volo: Our Cormyran treasure tales finish off with a ton of additional people to add to our genealogies. And the mysterious Hullack Hawk, which sounds deeply risible, but was the cause of some nasty conflict between Cormyr and Sembia in the past. I don't think he's given his gains back to the poor, but this does have some shades of robin hood. Elminster seems to have completely lost interest, just letting Volo ramble on, mixing exposition and story in a not hugely coherent fashion. This fails to sustain my interest as well. My brain just can't seem to take the information in and assemble it into a proper structure. I do believe I need a break.


Rogues Gallery: A conversion of a Troy Denning Forgotten Realms novel? That's nothing new here. What is different, however, is the illustration style. They've returned to full colour, and adopted a soft-focus portrait style that makes them look like IC sittings of the characters rather than purely photorealistic action shots. It's interesting as a change of pace, and quite aesthetically pleasing as well. I can go with that.

Galaeron Nihmedu is an elf with a beard. And no pointy ears. Wait, what? So did the artist actually get commissioned to do this, or did they just take some stock paintings. You lose several marks again for this cock-up. He's another instance of sorcerers cropping up everywhere, fighting with the wizards they're trying to get formal training from because neither side understands the other. Suddenly we find out that it's been happening for years under the radar, just because the rules have changed in game now. I do so hate retcons.

Melegaunt Tanthul is a 20th level diviner who does actually look fairly close to his description. He's one of those mysterious, seemingly immortal wizards who just showed up one day from nowhere, and has spent ages laying inscrutable plans in motion. Not the kind of person you want to get involved with, for you never know when you'll be sacrificed for the greater good.

Takari Moonsnow is an elf who does have proper pointy ears. But they do get the eye colour wrong, it has a definite purple tinge when the description says it's merely brown. She's another one who takes the long view on things, although she can seem lighthearted. But then, elves take their extended lifespans for granted. What's a few years partying when you have centuries to do serious stuff later?

Vala Thorsdotter once again sees them completely fail to match colours with the description. This artist was totally not paying attention to the brief, despite obviously being talented. Editorial fail. So what seems promising initially winds up pissing me off by not paying attention to the bigger picture. So much for this column.


Class acts: The psi-hunter is Monte's offering this month. I think you can guess what they do. They're one of those classes you'll have to do a bit of inconvenient dipping to qualify for, as they require you to have some spellcasting ability to get in, but then give you an independent spell list that means a primary caster will rapidly become very weak by branching into this. On the other hand, for a fighter, that single level dip into wizard will pay for itself well, as they have full BAB, decent spellcasting, with a spell list that seems well suited to buffing a primary fighter and countering enemy screwage, plus a full suite of special powers against psionic opponents. They're not even that bad against enemies outside their speciality either, since their spells will still be useful, and they'll still have full primary fighting capability. There is a minor write-up error, where they confuse spells known with spells/day, and the artwork frankly sucks, especially in close-up. But overall, this is a pretty useful and well designed prestige class, with benefits commensurate with it's cost.

Dragon Issue 281: March 2001


part 5/7


Bazaar of the Bizarre: Another return to the Realms, and a topic they've covered before. Magical Masks. (see issue 117) Man, that cartoon has aged badly. But there's probably still some cool powersets for you to invent. And since these all also have both powers and curses, this definitely looks like their sadistic imaginations have been running actively.

Ynaerv's Mask is a skull-faced device that grants extensive necromantic powers, but has a tendency to transform you into a Curst. Ahh, yes, Ed's very first contribution ever. Good to see they got a quick updating to the new edition. Course, since they're near unkillable, this may not be such a drawback either.

Dhonas's Shroud boosts your illusionary skills, but gives you nightmares. Since it also boosts your saves against them, this will leave you wearing it all the time. The perfect way to hook someone, really.

The Mask of Aberration gives a whole bunch of alteration spells, but has the danger of turning you into a gibbering mouther. Are all of these going to be focussed around a school of magic? Well, there are worse secondary themes to deploy.

Shade's Veil breaks the pattern by focussing on shadow magic. It's curse, of course, eventually transforms you into a shadow yourself, forever semi-real. Again, you don't want to keep taking it off and putting it on. Just use an illusion if you want to interact normally with people.

The Mask of Shum is divination based, and gradually drives you mad with visions. What strange and disturbing things will you see?

The Facade makes you look like a kyton, as it's composed of a ton of chains you wrap round your face. Oddly enough, people will like you anyway, as it focusses on enchantment magic. It's curse gives you low self-esteem, ironically, which seems another good one to encourage dependency on the mask in the future.

The Master's Face is conjuration based, and eventually sabotages itself by making anything you summon hate you. Wait, don't they do that anyway Oh well, still a pretty good collection overall, with neat powers and histories. Like the abyssal armours, they make for a good team of named enemies.


The bestiary: More underdark monsters? Blasted subterranean radiation. Soon as you've finished cataloging them all, the ones you put in a zoo have already mutated or crossbred with something else. What are we to do? Start all over again?

Jawg are decidedly strange looking things with a humanoid head, tyrannosaur's body, and a second set of arms and head on their tail. They hunt Dragons and have quite substantial spellcasting abilities. This means they're a good example of thing that can be friend or foe, even though they might seem like just another monster to kill at first.

Genocid are another gross invention full of symbiotes. With snakes in their cheeks and slug like larvae in their stomachs, they shall make revolting wheezes wherever they go. Man, where were the guys writing this stuff last year? We could have done with some more genuinely monstrous monsters.

Verx Swarms live in stalagmites, then pour out and burrow through you instead, agonisingly noming you up while you're still alive. Cure disease is the way to go to deal with them.

Minwhelgo are another of the relatively rare good guys down there, singlehandedly trying to make the underdark a better place. Good luck, you'll need it.

Deeplings are another thing occupying the low level goblinoid niche, albeit with a few nice little quirks and magical tricks. Still, on the whole, they aren't that interesting to me.


Nodwick ends up living with zuggtmoy. This may actually be an improvement on his usual company.


Role models: We're gradually building up to some more expert advice here, as I'd hoped would happen. Some fairly detailed information on how changing the amount of water you mix with your inks alters the painting process, and the ways you can use that to your advantage, with both drybrushing and washing having their uses. As information don't remember reading about before, this is fairly interesting, and a good example of how you turn a problem into an opportunity. An amateur will make a mess by mixing too much or not enough water with their paint. A pro will use all sorts of ratios at different points with equal proficiency. All you have to do is get a good amount of experimentation time in to make the process intuitive.

Dragon Issue 281: March 2001


part 6/7


The play's the thing: Robin Laws' second article this month is another where he reexamines a seemingly tiny part of your character background and shows it can actually be a big deal. Ancestry is a particularly big deal if you're a noble, or from a race that particularly values that kind of knowledge. But to be honest, you can't always control who your ancestors are. Interestingly, I can think of at least three games which allow you to determine your ancestry randomly, (AD&D's Oriental Adventures, Pendragon, Exalted's Dragon-blooded) with solid mechanical effects that result from this, showing it's not a new idea at all. This being modern times, Robin would rather it be placed in the hands of the players and DM, determined by OOC negotiation rather than dice rolls. This doesn't mean that the character has to be happy about what their family got up to in the past, of course, but someone ought to be actively choosing. So I guess this shows that new and old school play do tackle many of the same issues, they just solve them in different ways. And in this case, new might or might not be better than old, but is almost definitely slower and less realistic. This is one case where the insanity produced by a good random table will probably be more interesting than what a player will come up with on their own.


Sage advice: Do humans have to ignore the highest level class for multiclassing (yes. You dabble in a few things, not have two good classes plus a dip. )

Is a wishes inherent bonus added to the ability or the rolls. (The ability. Wishes are not that great at changing who you are.)

Do inherent bonuses stack (No. So much for that enhancement.)

How long does it take to make a scroll under 1,000 gp (Still a day. You can't mass produce magic items.)

How does a small character use a bastard sword (Same as anyone else. It's a bit weird. )

Can you save up skill points and feats if you can't think of anything to spend them on straight away. (If your DM likes the idea. You are, after all, just making yourself suboptimal for a while. )

How does expertise interact with two-weapon fighting (subtract from all attacks. No exceptions)

How hard is it to escape from rope bonds (Ooops. That contradiction has been fixed in the new printing. Don't say we don't do anything for you. )

Does spring attack really let you get at things with reach attacks without AoO's (only if they don't have friends. )

If you add a prestige class, do you suffer XP penalties for not keeping them balanced (No. Prestige classes are just plain cool. They worry nothing about this limitation.)

How do barbarians learn how to read, and how much does it cost (2 skill points, or a single level in another class. Way easier than last edition. )

Are cleric domain powers based on character level or class level (Character level. To do otherwise would be against general design principles.)

Can clerics turn outsiders (Not yet. Maybe some time.)

Do domain powers that turn count towards your general quota (No. Wouldn't be much of an extra if they did)

Can you apply the Sun benefit to other domain granted powers (No.)

Do undead's bodies stay when they're destroyed by turning  (No. They go poof like buffyverse vampires. Very neat. )

Does extra turning add to domain granted powers (No.)

How much damage does an unarmed coup de grace do. (Probably not enough to kill someone)

Do you ever die from subdual damage. (Yes. It rolls over. Another thing stolen from WoD. )

What happens if you fight underwater. (You suck. It's a great way to take confident characters down a few pegs. )

Can my lawful good cleric cast doom (it is neither chaotic nor evil, so yes.)

Are you hurt by your own fireball (We wouldn't have invented sunfire if it didn't.)

How much can delayed blast fireball do (20d6)

Is color spray right? (No. More stuff for the next printing. )

Do stunned characters always drop what they're holding. (Yes. Another move action wasted when you recover to get battle ready again.)

Dragon Issue 281: March 2001


part 7/7


Forum: Shawn Lewis is very pleased at 3e, especially the fact that PC's and monsters now work under the same rules. Even if you stick with the old rules, there are still plenty of cool ideas to be taken from the new books.

Cob Constanz gives XP to the players for contributing to the background of the world. It keeps them invested and coming back, especially when they see how their ideas were incorporated into the larger tapestry of history

Jean-Philipe Suter has re-instituted sexist house rules in his games. i look forward for the flurry of condemnations this should provoke.

Jason Tondro thinks while feats are a cool idea, they still need some adjustment. Most irksome is than fact that you can qualify for them earlier than you can actually take them, since you only get 1 slot per 3 levels. Ever heard the saying "good things come to those who wait." You still can't expect everything to go your way.

Mike Briggs isn't pleased about the psionics previews. It looks like nothing but a spell point based magic system. Not going to argue with you there, especially with psionics/magic transparency now the standard.

Christopher Rheinherren is slightly more positive about the return of psionics, but it still looks like he's going to be disappointed. They're moving forward, not going back to 1e.

Michael Brown reminds WotC to find out how much real weapons actually weigh. God, is that still an issue. They complained enough about it last time that you'd think they'd have caught it.

John Brown loves the new rules, but thinks the presentation of them could do with a bit of cleaning up. As it is, people are still going to argue about what the rules actually mean, and wind up missing out important detail. You'd have to simplify a lot for that to be the case though.

Christian Walker points out how important high charisma is to getting a decent job. It counts more than skill, really. Oh so true. :sigh:

Jeremy A. Michelle talks about guns throughout the ages, and how they could be reintroduced to the magazine. It would take a bit of work, especially since the later ones are batter, so balance is a real issue.


PC Portraits: Psionicists get a good dungeonpunking this edition along with everyone else. They don't have as many tattoos as they use too, instead having a whole load of straps, buckles and fetishwear to make them stand out from the crowd. I think this time the older collection from issue 255 wins the day, having cleaner, less stylised artwork that's easier to apply to a broader range of character concepts. After all, as we've said before, the big difference between psionicists and wizards is that they don't need to rely on books, material components and other external aids to be awesome. Why give up that advantage just for the sake of fashion?


Dungeoncraft: Ray looks over the standard races to see how they're going to fit into his new world, and decides to exclude the gnomes and halflings. We've got no time for whimsy and mechanical inventiveness in a primitive world where it's a struggle to survive! This is serious business! Although it has to be said, Athas managed to find a decent place for halflings that wasn't comic relief at all, but I guess he doesn't want to make a carbon copy of that either in the process of avoiding generic fantasy. He doesn't pick any monster or new ones to replace them though, (maybe later) Really, this is about deciding how much you want to stick too or subvert the standard fantasy cliches. Change something too much, and you might as well not bother with the name in the first place. Not enough, and you'll be formulaic. Neither are inherently bad, and variety in the type of campaigns you run is good. Another little thing that's worth codifying, I guess.


Dixie discovers that there are always CR suitable challenges, no matter how much cosmic power you have in What's new.


Well, this wasn't a bad issue, but it did take a loooong time to do, party because of the amount of reference checking I had to do, and partly because my brain kept sliding off the last few articles, making them a real struggle to finish. Overall, it was interesting and informative, but did have more than it's fair share of mechanical issues. The core 3e rules may have been heavily playtested, but now we're getting into supplements that didn't receive that degree of attention. So i guess it's up to the playerbase to provide lots of feedback. Let's keep going, and see what they have to say about the 3.0 version when the 3.5 one rolls around.

Dragon Issue 282: April 2001


part 1/7


116 pages. Phil Foglio gets his first cover pic in ages. And quite a doozy it is too, being funny, detailed, and having a fair bit of cheesecake too. This is promising. It's been a few years since we had a properly zany april fools issue. Lets hope the contents live up to the packaging.


Scan Quality: Good, some white at page edges.  


In this issue:


Wyrms turn: Our editorial this month tells another truly abominable actual play story where the DM used terrible jokes as integral parts of the plot, to the exasperation of the players. It's a hard life living in a world you can't take seriously, and can see the lack of verisimilitude round the edge of every wall. Still, some people love it, and after a good 5 years, they're going to really indulge them again. Good to see them catering to that segment of their audience, when they've cut out support for quite a few others over the past few years.


AEG give us a free taster of their new card game, Warlord.


Scale Mail: Our first letter is from someone who's spotted that they're already putting power creep in their supplements. Is it though, is it? Is +1 to all saves really worth more than +2 to a particular one? Magic 8-ball says probably. A bit of actual play should test that fairly easily.

Second, we have an amusing request to bring back Bards on the Run. That one is very easy to satisfy indeed. Prepare your ears.

The Forgotten Realms timeline gets picked at again. The writers must pay close attention, for the slightest continuity slip in thousands of pages will draw vocal complaints. It's nice to have such a dedicated fanbase, but it can also get a bit trying as well.

We get a letter of general praise from someone who's afraid they might be a little beaten down by the artwork haters. Not at all. Remember a few years ago when they were in the doldrums, but nearly all their letters were positive? And now sales are going up again and here comes all the interesting rants too. Funny how that works. It's no wonder many people can't handle fame. Even if you're getting more positive attention than negative, it's the bad things that wind up sticking in your mind more if you're the sensitive sort.

And finally, we have a letter of general commentary. Rebecca Guay continues to attract attention whenever she appears, and Fool Wolf is rather popular too. In both cases, their popularity may price them out of the RPG market eventually. That's another irony of success.


Nodwick made all that effort to save the world for nothing. Some things just aren't funny to anyone outside 4-chan.


PROfILES: John Kovalic is one of those artists who makes you think If he can do it professionally, anyone can. Course, it's not that simple. Like South Park, his simple art style both allows him to concentrate on the clever jokes more, and produce tons of stuff, fast. He's primarily known for his comics, Dork tower, and The unspeakable oaf. But he's been plugging away for over 20 years now, sketching stuff while in school, putting it out independently, and generally following the dream when all right minded people would quit. Mucho respect for all those 12+ hour workdays.

Dragon Issue 282: April 2001


part 2/7


Previews: The average rate of releases continues to drift downwards, as they start to try Ryan Dancy's idea of letting third party companies handle all the little stuff. One adventure, and a couple of novels. The Standing Stone widens their styles covered again, with ghostly horror. Woo. Not that it'll have the same impact as Ravenloft did. The Floodgate by Elaine Cunningham takes us back to Halruaa for some more political intrigue and mystery novel fun. Dragons of a Lost Star by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman is the second book in the war of souls trilogy. Big cataclysm no 3 proceeds according to schedule.


Countdown to the forgotten realms: 2 months to go. Here they talk about the metaphysics behind magic in the Realms, with the Weave, and the Shadow Weave, and the effects they have in game. Most spellcasters draw on the regular weave, which is owned by Mystra, and if it's taken out or damaged, you get dead and wild magic zones. You can get around that by drawing on the shadow weave instead, but that's harder and has it's own drawbacks. There are other rarer types of magic as well, many of which we've already seen mentioned like spellfire, but under the new edition they'll be better differentiated mechanically. After all, shouldn't you use the rules update to make the game work a little more like the fiction? This is a good reminder of the fact that I like game rules as universe physics style thinking, and 3e is easily the best edition of D&D so far for playing like that. So this teaser is one of the better ones from my point of view, showing how they're trying to give you more fun options to play with and integrate them into the setting. I still like my shiny toys sometimes.


Up on a soapbox: This month, all the elements Gary looks at are on the upper end of the scale. Assuming a role is right at the top, beating even combat, which makes sense given the name of the game is Role-Playing. At the bottom, (but still getting a decent score) is random chance, which I suppose reflects people's increased desire to design their characters manually, and the rise of games that don't use dice or generally have far less randomisation than older ones. If he'd asked a decade ago, that's probably the one that would have changed the most. Problem solving and questing are also fairly high on most people's priorities. A few people may be satisfied creating their character, and then hanging around socialising IC, but most want to go places, have goals, face external threats and grow accordingly.  Now the question is what will be right at the top and bottom of the league. Still a few more elements to go and people are still submitting. Maybe there'll be a last minute surge.


Dork tower gets some calls from the other kind of roleplayers. You really shouldn't just reject them. New players like that would be good for the hobby's image.


The outgoing goblin's guide to gaming etiquette: Our humour pieces begin with some decidedly mixed advice about how to run a good game. While there is actually a good chunk of decent advice in amongst the jokes, there's also some bits of trolling that you really shouldn't heed if you value the cohesiveness of your group. I'm not entirely certain if this is meant primarily as an entertainment piece, but I'm leaning that way. April fool. The illustrations are rather good, anyway.


Logic missiles: In issue 271, we had a whole bunch of articles on puzzles. At the time, I made the comment that it would be better to concentrate in ones that work off universal principles, than ones dependent on the quirks of the english language, which your characters wouldn't be speaking IC. Well, my desire has been fulfilled, with a nice 8 pager giving lots of example logic puzzles. While there is some humour in the writing, this is largely a serious piece, drawing upon a whole variety of different puzzle types, some with multiple solutions, which is the joy of having more open-ended challenges. So unlike the earlier article, I can see myself drawing upon this for ideas to challenge my players with, although I wouldn't lift them wholesale. A little more logic in a game rarely hurts, unless it slows everything down due to overanalysis.


Bard on the run is back! With filks based upon brand new songs, not stuff decades old even when the magazine was published. Britney Spears and N'Sync were always pretty self-aware about how cheesy and manufactured they were, so you don't have to stretch very far to make them into comedy. Similarly, ZZ Top have long since become parodies of themselves. So easy targets this year, but at least they're more in tune with fashion than they used to be. That's worth a little praise.

Dragon Issue 282: April 2001


part 3/7


Meanwhile, back in the slime pits of Karvan: Robin Law's first contribution this month is about scene changes, particularly when the players are split up. Some say you should never split the party, but this becomes very unrealistic once you get out of the dungeon and into a social environment. You probably will have to do it at some point, and there are definitely tricks you can do to make it flow better. You need to balance two main objectives. Keeping the players interested despite the fact that they might not be involved in the narrative for a while, and keeping track of what's happening where, and when. Both of these are made easier by regular, fairly fast switching of perspectives, somewhere between 5-15 minutes, which keeps players from drifting off, and one narrative from getting too far ahead of another. If it looks at all like their paths are going to cross, fudge events so it happens. This bit is pretty familiar from my own experiences as a GM. However, he also gives quite a bit of advice for players in this situation too, which I hadn't thought about so much. Once again, this is pretty useful stuff, pushing you towards a more story oriented style of gaming where the players use OOC knowledge to make their characters work together in a way that would be good for the story, rather than disrupting each other and breaking up the group for good. Take that, Tracey Hickman!


D&D personal ads: Or how to advertise for new players in a way that might not actually attract them, but will definitely get their attention. April fool! As with the guide to etiquette, there are some genuinely helpful bits of advice here, but they're hidden amongst the jokes, and it's only really helpful if you already know the right answer. I think this time the comedy part outweighs the useful advice, making this more just an entertainment piece. Still, once again, the illustrations are excellent, with one of those rare cases where the writer is also the illustrator, so the images fit with and enhance the mood of the text perfectly. I do find it interesting how they're varying the art style quite a bit from the norm for this issue, giving the comics guys more to do.


Heroes of the underdork: Last year, Nodwick & co got stats for 2nd edition as part of the april festivities. This time, Muskrats get racial stats, courtesy of John Kovalic and the Dork Tower cast. As seems appropriate, they are a bit underpowered, and quite a bit of this is comprised of jokes, but the statistics are actually legal and usable in 3e. If you were using ECL, they'd definitely deserve to be ECL -1 to balance them out with the other PCs, since they have a total of -4 to their ability scores, and their special powers are nothing much to write home about. So unless you're playing in a game world with a serious giant crayfish problem, powergamers wouldn't touch these guys with a 10 foot pole. Maybe you could get away with having one as a henchman.


Snack monsters: O HAI joke monsters. With plenty of stats and powers that are either mechanically nonsensical or absurdly overpowered, which means you can't really use them in game. Pizza slices, Gummi bears, Doritos, jolly ranchers and spilled pepsi get stats, scaled up to the size they would appear to be to your 25mm minis. So this is true old school silliness, of the sort that's purely for entertainment purposes, not game use unless you're willing to put quite a bit of fudge in (Although I think a toffee monster would be more dangerous. ) It's been a while since we had one of those, and they stand out in starker relief with 3e's more precise and codified rules. It's certainly interesting, anyway.


Fiction: Possessions by Elaine Cunningham. Elaine has obviously been reading the FR books in development, because she's already using the 3e magic terminology. Well, when you're setting your story in Halruua, you need to be up to date in the latest in metaphysics. Otherwise you're going to end up in the out crowd.  Or alternately, you can delve into unfashionable and morally questionable fields in search of greater power, and win prestige that way. Which leads to a bad end if you get it wrong. And this definitely winds up falling into the cautionary tale category, showing an ambitious young wizard paying the price for her reckless ambition. Sure she gets immortality out of it, but it's not a very pleasant eternity. In fact, the degree of dramatic irony could almost make this a Ravenloft story. (Actually, they've never done Ravenloft fiction in the magazine, have they. ) So she can tell a good story when she puts the elf fetishism away for a bit. Who knew.

Dragon Issue 282: April 2001


part 4/7


The adventures of Volo ends abruptly this issue. Since he's been hanging around Cormyr and Sembia for the past half a year, I shall assume one of the people he's been talking about caught up with him and cut off his, um, communication channels.  Occupational hazard of being a journalist with integrity. Here we fill in another little bit of setting. Hunting! In the real world, this was currently undergoing the protracted and tedious process that would lead to it's banning in the UK. (which is now routinely breached and has ironically even increased the number of people doing it.) Unsurprisingly, it's never generated the same kind of controversy in the Realms, given the frequency of genuinely dangerous creatures that need a good culling. But catching dangerous creatures and then using them in canned hunts for nobles who want the thrill of killing stuff without the danger does seem a bit tacky, if entirely believable. From sembia to waterdeep, there are adventurers willing to risk their lives so other people can get the XP, if they'll get a bit more money instead. This may throw the CR system out of whack a bit, but life isn't neat. Elminster participates quite a bit more in this one, and it feels like a decent way to close this up. Hopefully whatever format he chooses to deliver info to us next will liven things up for a while.


Rogues Gallery: Oh, now this is an april fool article I can get behind. The association of monster hunters have been starring in the ecologies since 1996, quite often during april, and they haven't been short of humorous touches in other months either. This is a perfect fit for an article that's wanted, funny, and still potentially useful as well.

Buntleby is the closest thing to a protagonist here, with his relatively honest and sensible attitude and Osquip companion. He's also the one that's had some actual onscreen changes, with those reflected in the description.

Dreelix the president is the foil of these stories, a pompous blowhard who deserves all the comical mishaps he suffers. He bickers with Buntleby, tries to impose his authority on the monster hunters, and is generally a driver of conflict in these stories. They wouldn't be half as interesting without him.

Grindle the coin-counter may be big, but it's certainly not all fat, as he has an 18 strength and he's not afraid to use it. He's the kind of guy who follows whoever has a good idea, and this has got him in a bit of trouble in the past. But he's taken it on the chin, unlike Dreelix, and kept on ticking. Again, every group needs a stable sidekick guy.

Zantoullios is the amusingly gangly research wizard who has a tendency to blow up his lab. He's another individual of low wisdom, who gets talked into putting his magical curiosity over his conscience. The sentai model breaks down when you're in a group comprised of wizards, but he's just about the smart guy of the team. Like most of his ilk, he may well come up with a smart solution to the problem, but you'll probably lose at least your eyebrows along the way.

Lady Ablasta is the pompous busybody conjurer, who tries to be the straight woman of the group, but is amusing enough in her own way, being very bitchy to any other women who show any interest in the association. The reasons groups like these end up being male dominated is not because they try actively to keep girls out.

Spontayne the Studious is the highest level wizard amongst them, as befits his name. Not that he actually casts spells very often, but that's neither here nor there. Every group needs a straight man, and I guess he's it for this crew.

Willowquisp the Zoophile isn't a wizard, merely an Expert with lots of useful skills. Since these include swimming, climbing and hiding, he's more than likely to pull them out of a tight spot, even if they don't always appreciate his lectures. After all, the monster hunters aren't the most practical bunch, and don't always remember their environmental protection spells.

Old Gumphrey the Alchemist is also not a spellcaster, just an adept/expert with lots of knowledge in brewing potions. He brings the wonder of mishearing gags to the table, which lets face it, never fails to be an excuse for painful punnery. He's more competent than he appears though, when he can stay awake. Don't underestimate the old guy.

Rhionda the Swordmistress is the newbie of the group, and is certainly bringing a valuable variety of skills in the last few excursions, as well as a daredevil attitude that's amusing in it's own way. She's still not completely accepted by the group, but is getting there, and will probably go further if they have another ecology this issue (which they do)

So this Gallery rocks. Not only are the characters several orders of magnitude less twinked statistically than any of the Realms novel cheesefests, but they're actually consciously balanced for characters of their level in terms of equipment. Plus as their exploits are fully familiar to me, this provides a real kick to the completist in me. It's mad that a joke article would wind up having more mechanical rigor than the serious ones. April fool indeed.

Dragon Issue 282: April 2001


part 5/7


Class acts: The orky warboyz get to kick some more ass this month with the blessed of Gruumsh. Designed largely for bad guys, you have to pluck out your own eye to get into this one, making it unlikely PC's would choose it even if they were of a more questionable moral character. They get lots of good once per day effects, further reinforcing that this class would be deadly when applied to monsters, but not such a huge benefit when a PC takes the class, due to the nova effect. Ahh, the old LA vs ECL issue that plagued 3rd ed, and was part of the reason 4th reined back what races you could have as PC's. Also notable is that they've started organizing class skills by key ability in little boxes, which does look nice and save space. So not a brilliant class, but still perfectly serviceable, and it's good to see them refining their format as well.


The ecology of the purple worm: What would an april be without the association of monster hunters making an appearance? Especially now they're statted up. They've become quite the fixture. And they're having lots of fun, traveling the world and killing things for science and profit. The addition of a warrior to the team has improved their tactical acumen, and the conversion to 3rd ed rules has even let them do a little multiclassing, it seems. But that doesn't stop battles from being frantic scrambles where no plan survives contact with the enemy. The comedy is dialled back a little this time for a genuinely cinematic battle, and most of the humour is in the dialogue and interplay between characters. The format for the footnotes is changed again, with this succumbing to the current fashion for sidebars. They also add a bit more colour to the illustrations, as befits the theme. All pretty good. This series seems to finally be maturing. Let's hope that doesn't mean it's about to be canceled. :Checks ahead: It does? Totally weak. How are we ever supposed to have any character development if we cancel things just as they're starting to genuinely change in an interesting way?


VS Elves: If it's tricky coming up with good countertactics against psychics, against prettier than thou mary sues who now have access to any class they like, it seems almost impossible. Fortunately, that only really applies to PC's. NPC elves are still the good old woodland dwelling, bow shooting, spell slingers, and that's a skillset you can anticipate and counter. Spot them coming, use protection from normal missiles to keep yourself from being turned into a pincushion, blast them with effects that require Fort saves, and then close en masse for slicing and dicing fun. In the longer term, wars of attrition are pretty effective, as most races can replenish themselves considerably faster, forcing them to retreat or negotiate even if you're suffering more casualties. Get a tribe of goblinoids, then when they get killed, animate their bodies and send a second wave of zombies to further wear down the tree-huggers. And don't forget to cut the trees down while you're at it, reduce their ability to hide and shoot from cover. Actually, it looks like if you want to win, you need to think strategics and logistics rather than tactics of an individual fight. And that's definitely something this format doesn't do enough of, focussed on an adventuring party that doesn't use hirelings and camp followers as 3e is. Once again, it's a bit of a disappointment, and I'm left feeling I could do better.


PC Portraits: April Fool comes to the portraits too this month, with Phil Foglio puncturing the format in a similar way to his april fool centrefold in issue 60. The individual images are funny, and they're laid out in an amusingly meta way as well. I think we can safely say he's still got it when it comes to funny one-liners, (well, one panel jokes) with each image managing to tell a story in itself. Bravo, dear boy, bravo indeed. :claps:


WWF: Elminster vs Raistlin. Aaron gives Nodwick a break from the spotlight, (although not from suffering horrible pain) to do a comic on this amusing rivalry. It's not really a fair fight, as by the rules Elminster outclasses Raistlin so badly it's laughable. And indeed, it looks like he's more likely to win until Raistlin pulls some dirty trickery to turn the tables (which is also pretty in character) and the whole thing is stopped due to rulesbreaking. Despite the fact that the Realms has been beating Dragonlance in popularity pretty much since it was released, they still can't show it THAT much favouritism to allow it a conclusive win. Plus it wouldn't be as funny anyway. So the debate will continue in other forums.


The play's the thing: As is becoming standard for Robin Laws, the bit of advice in his regular column is less consequential than the earlier article. In fact, it's really just a single line of advice stretched out to two pages. Instead of spending ages writing or drawing a description for your character, just cast an actor as them and everyone will be able to instantly imagine roughly what they look like. Just saying they're X, or X crossed with Y, or X if Z change was made will save you substantial amounts of time. Which you can then use on getting straight into those convoluted multiperspective plotlines. Simple and easy. I could have told you that, although probably not in as much style. Whether this will blow your mind or be so obvious as to not be worth mentioning will once again depend on how experienced you are and how much time you spend hanging around game forums. I suppose that once again marks it as a good invention.

Dragon Issue 282: April 2001


part 6/7


Forum: Amber Scott points out that there are actually a lot more female lumberjacks around than there are Dragons. Yet which stretches the credulity of certain ranty letter writers more? It's like unrealistic magic systems all over again.

Able DuSable (once again, i blame the parents) brings up the topic of roleplaying after retirement. Another sign that the hobby has been around for decades now, and no-one's as young as they were. Still, D&D looks a lot more fun to play in a retirement home than Bridge.

Amy Dickinson reminds us that the reason elves seem aloof is because they know we'll die all too soon and they don't want to get attached. Given that people do get pretty attached to their pets when there are similar lifespan disparities, this is a rule I can well see exceptions too.

Adam Whitehead (all the A's this time, it seems) thinks people are stupid for complaining just because things don't go all their way. They can't please all the people all the time, but they're trying damn hard. And that means they can't abandon their most popular properties.


Role models: Skin tones are this month's topic. In a fantasy game, you might have a wider selection than with regular humans, but you still need to vary the skin tone a little from place to place on their body in a realistic way, reflecting the light and shade that areas would experience. Once again, you may want to do the hard to reach areas first, and then paint over the stuff surrounding them in lighter tones, so any overspill gets covered up by subsequent layers. We get extreme close-ups of a single ogre from multiple angles to demonstrate this, which once again shows how much better modern photography and editing handles this kind of work. So while the advice isn't that much better than the ones of years past, they're once again doing a better job of presenting it too us visually, and gradually ramping up the complexity. Like Dungeoncraft before it, this column is starting to come into it's own now a regular writer has been there for a while.

Dragon Issue 282: April 2001


part 7/7


Sage advice: Yo dawg. What's the beef on the polymorph errata. (I heard you like errata so I put errors in your corrections so you need errata for your errata. )

Do repeating crosbows need two hands to use ( if you want to reload them, y'know.)

Do you get specialization bonuses for shuriken (Only at close quarters)

Can you throw three shuriken, or three per attack (three per attack, but only if you have fast reloading powers. You'd better hone your gunslinging skills.)

Are characters who are aware but flanked subject to sneak attack (Yes. It's a much more combat oriented power now. )

When do monks get their wisdom bonus to AC (Any time they can move freely. That means no armor. )

Can multiclass rogues sneak attack with non rogue weapons (Oh yes)

Can you flank with a reach weapon (yes. Skip sees definite synergy possibilities here. )

Can you attack through an occupied square with reach weapons (Yes, but they get cover bonuses)

How does firing into melee work against enemies with reach. ( Pretty good. If they're not next to your target, there are definite upsides.)

Can you make attacks of opportunity while set for a charge (Yes. Fun fun fun. )

How does painful reckoning work (Once they've beaten you down once, you get it every time you meet after that. Vengeance, sweet vengeance.)

Shouldn't ghost walkers space manipulation powers be supernatural, not extraordinary (Y'know, you're right. Skip will have to cast Create Official Errata again)

What's a stunning attack, and what good is making them nauseated as well. (You can never have too many crippling status effects.)

Pain touch has lower prerequisites than stunning fist. What's the point. (Monks get it as a virtual feat. That bypasses this.)

How does circle kick work when you have multiple attacks ( You get to go again if you hit. )

How does dirty fighting work with multiple attacks. (Not that great. It works best at street level games. )

Can rogues stack dirty fighting and sneak attack (No)

How does lightning fist work with multiple attacks ( Man. We give everyone iterative attacks and all they do is whine about interfacing. It's enough to make skip want to take them away again. )

When does expert tactician give you your partial action (Your turn. )

How often can you use snatch arrows (Only once per round. No deflecting automatic fire around here. )

Can you combine snatch arrows and throw anything (no)

How often can you use feign weakness ( As often as you like. People may get wise though. )

Which feats from sword and fist can fighters have as bonus ones (None of them. Oh what a shame.)

Can you get up for free with prone attack if you don't actually attack (If you attack the darkness.)

What classes can combine their attack bonuses with their monk BAB ( Red avenger, Weapon master and Drunken Master.)

How many 5 foot steps can you take while supreme cleaving (Just the one, Skip is afraid.)


Dragonmirth gives us a retro joke. Man, the cutoff between 2nd & 3rd was way sharper than the one between 1st & 2nd.


Dungeoncraft: Last month we found out what races Ray was going to exclude. Now we see how he's using the ones he has kept. Elves are the most technologically advanced, and the only ones with a written language, which combined with their lifespan makes them the ones with the info. Dwarves are ex-slaves who've withdrawn from the world after getting elven help to break free of their lizard masters. Half-Orcs are reskinned into half-Lizardfolk, while retaining the same stats. (and he really ought to swap out the low-light vision, since reptiles aren't very active during the night. ) The humans are divided between savage tribalists, and slightly more peaceful wanderers. Both are getting secretly manipulated by other forces, which gives you a whole load of plot hooks, and room for conflict between them. So there is a fair chunk of stereotype breaking, and the lack of written language as standard is definitely a big change from the 3e default. He could be even more adventurous, but this is a start. I'm still interested to see how much further he's willing to go.


What's new makes both it's protagonists, and all of the guest stars, suffer. But not the snail. That's just oozing along quietly.


Well, this was more wacky than recent issues, but nowhere near as odd as some of the 80's april ones. They're unable to completely shake the urge to be helpful, with only a couple of articles having no game use at all. Which I suppose from another PoV is a positive thing, as there is lots of stuff that's good for your game here. As much as they'd like to pretend otherwise, they're grown-up sensible professionals now. At least, most of the time. They'd have to pick weird stuff out of the bottom of the slush pile if they truly want to recapture the feel of the old days. And it doesn't look like that's happening anytime soon. Oh well. On we go then.

Dragon Issue 283: May 2001


part 1/7


116 pages. It's clerics turn to get their first themed issue of the new edition. Everyone will get a turn eventually, since we have years of material to make up, but the order it happens in is significant. And as one of the more altered classes in the new edition, they still need the publicity, so people can realise just how utterly awesome they are. Let's see what cool stuff they'll be given this time round.


Scan Quality: Medium, small text somewhat blurry and hard to make out, oversaturated blacks, indexed.


In this issue:


Ahh, Baldur's gate. so good it got a sequel. And they're still basically using 2nd ed rules. Well, development times are getting longer and longer. Can't scrap everything just because the licence has changed beneath you.

She's back, and this time, she's legal? That's a somewhat dodgy way to advertise.


Wyrms turn: As we're dealing with clerics, Dave talks about the amusing possibilities inherent in playing characters with high wisdom but low intelligence. Your familiar may wind up smarter than you, but at least you'll have the common sense to take their advice when it's good. Yeah, this is another one of those editorials reminding you that having a low stat or two makes your character more interesting, especially when you have teammates around to shore up those weaknesses and bounce off in terms of roleplaying. When everybody is average or above at everything, it can all be rather bland by comparison. Tell it to the people who decided the default point buy system wouldn't let you have stats below 8. This is overdone and a little dated seeming now. Nothing new here.


Eric van Lustbader thinks Dragon readers will buy his novel enough to put a 6 page spread of advertising in?! Oooookay then. Man, at this rate, I see why Paizo decided to do ad free scans. There hasn't been a single actual RPG advert here in months. This is not healthy for the hobby.


Scale Mail: Having seen what's happened to the other campaign worlds, people are writing in to keep the Realms in the magazine. It continues to prove it's huge popularity, so they will continue to give it regular columns every issue, plus maybe a few extra on top of that. If only people would share the love around a little more.

A letter reminding you to enforce encumbrance when the players try to carry large impractical stuff around. Solutions to one problem create their own problems in turn. That's the way of the world, and what assures there'll always be something interesting happening somewhere.

Fool Wolf gets another letter of praise, in which they promise to get on Greg's case and try and get him to write some more. Why did this not happen again?

The Sorcerer themed issue gets two conflicting letters, one very happy with it, and the other annoyed that they're all represented as outcasts despite their high charisma. When the only social skill you have in class is Bluff, you wind up using it for all your problems, and this catches up with you sooner or later. That nail you tried to hammer will turn out to be a miniature rust monster occasionally.

Speaking of themed issues, we have requests for barbarian and drow themed ones. Both get put on the list for sometime next year, which is a good reminder just how far ahead they plan things these days.

We make the tragic discovery that they've stopped keeping back issues in stock for great lengths of time. Another lesson they've learned from the TSR days. Sometimes, warehouse costs are greater than any potential profit you may make in the future, so it's better to just pulp any leftovers.

And finally, we have some nitpicking by the greek contingent about some historical inaccuracies. Like clockwork every time they do a historical article. No escaping it. As is often the case, I wonder why they bother.

Dragon Issue 283: May 2001


part 2/7


Nodwick and dork tower get compilation books! Buy them now!


Countdown to the forgotten realms: One month to go. Oh my god, they changed the map! You Bastards! :shakes fists: Ok, so it's not as bad as they did in 4e, where they moved whole continents around, as they're merely shrinking some big areas where there's not much detail. I still don't think that's wise. Given how overcrowded the Realms can seem at times, we need those blank areas to work with. Plus given that the real world has places where there's hundreds of miles of desert or ocean with fuck-all landmarks and minimal living activity, it definitely makes a game world more realistic to have a few of those breaking up the landscape. I disapprove of this particular teaser. This is short term thinking that makes the world less real, and more like a theme park with various areas for various types of adventures. Plus it's once again ignoring Kara-tur, Al-Qadim, Maztica, and all the other expanded stuff they introduced in the early 90's, and then lost interest in. Surely they could merit one book each updating the rules and showing how the setting has evolved in the last 20 years?


Up on a soapbox: Interestingly, while having a consistent story and setting is important to most players, actually staying within character and doing actual acting to better represent them to the other PC's and DM isn't so much. I suspect that if this wasn't aimed primarily at D&D players, that part would get higher marks. Despite a long time passing, D&D still has more wargaming in it's genes than amateur dramatics, and LARPers find themselves more attracted to White Wolf. And with the settings being shut down and the books concentrating on the return to the dungeon, that will be even more the case in a few years. As with the editorial, the writers for the magazine may actually be a little behind the company trends. It'd be funny if Gary started saying we need more roleplaying in RPG's in a few years time. So the results are all in, some are expected, some aren't, and we should get a good round-up next month. This all seems to have gone fairly smoothly, although the turnout could have been better. It's important to know who your audience are.


Dork tower reveals why the new character is the Last in a long line. That's what happens when you don't play them appropriately.


Do-it-yourself Deities: While they have reduced the overall amount of rehash a fair bit since the edition change, advice on building your pantheon is one topic that's very very overdone indeed. (Issues 29, 54, 77, 140 just on a cursory search.) And the fact that Ed did a pretty definitive one early on in the magazine's history that also went on to be historically significant leaves anyone else trying their hand with exceedingly daunting shoes to fill. Still, Stephen Kenson does manage to make his attempt more logically written and clearly edited, and the improvements in layout in the past couple of decades are also very apparent. But at the same time we aren't seeing the same kind of enthusiasm and DIY inventiveness that we used too. So you can make the same kind of comparisons that you could the 1e and 3e DMG's. One spills cool ideas onto the page as they occurred to the writer, while the other is cleaner and easier to use, but also more sterile and less memorable in itself. That's progress for you.

Dragon Issue 283: May 2001


part 3/7


Champions of virtue: A whole wodge of prestige classes devoted to specific deities is our next feature. This of course means if you want to get into them, you'll need to plan right from level one, or at least your first level in cleric. So these will mainly be of use to characters created after checking your options, rather than preexisting ones. 3e can be a pain sometimes.

Shining Blades of Heronious sacrifice half their spellcasting progression for enhanced smiting ability and other weapon enhancements, and gaining the celestial template at 10th level. For Paladins, this seems no great loss. For clerics, it doesn't sound like such a great idea.

Radiant Champions of Pelor are like Loremasters, a no-brainer choice if you're playing the right kind of character, because they get full spellcasting and turning progressions, plus some extra abilities, making them strictly better than regular clerics with no drawbacks at all, and don't have particularly challenging prerequisites either. If you want to play clerics as stereotypical healbot and undead smiter, it'd be hard to do better.

Fleet Runners of Ehlonna seem like they'd be best combined with Ranger, with boosts to their mobility and ranged attacks, and one of those odd progressions that grants extra spells, but not extra spell levels.

Mighty Contenders of Kord are all about the strength boosts, but still only get 3/4 BAB, which means they won't be that great as fighters, and even the huge strength bonus at 10th level won't make up for the loss of 8th and 9th level spells. As neither fish nor fowl, they don't seem that appealing. So with two prestige classes you'd have to be dumb to take, and one you'd have to be dumb not to, this definitely isn't one of their better balanced articles.


Playing the priestly part: When you want advice about how to properly roleplay your clerics, who ya gonna call? If you guessed the ex pastor, have a cookie. Course, the interesting thing about priests that a lot of people forget is just how social a job it is. Servicing a congregation means you regularly talk to tons of people, and are perfectly positioned to know all the gossip, give a little sensible advice to troubled souls, and generally keep them happy. (or at least functional in line with your god's portfolio) Similarly, even when your god is demonstrably real, that doesn't mean your faith is always perfect and unwavering. You can wonder if you're doing the right thing by following them, if the things they're commanding are actually sensible, how much your life is controlled by their dogma or direct commands, and indeed, if you're interpreting what they're saying right anyway. It can be a life filled with introspection and philosophical thought, and a good deal of self-doubt. Or you could just be a swaggering demagogue convinced of their own righteousness while also enjoying all the luxuries of their position. (cause jesus he knows me, and he knows I'm right. ) So this is the kind of roleplaying advice that's good because it's solidly grounded in real life experience. Sure the spells part may be fantastical, but the rest isn't, and reminds us that a job can work very differently to people's perceptions of it. If you can't walk a mile in someone else's shoes, at least ask them what it feels like.


Realistic religion: While Mr Kenson is concerned with creating a coherent pantheon that'll makes for a good game, this article is more about making one that feels like a good story. A realistic mythology doesn't build up the pantheon and then create the stories around them, but the other way round, coming up with the stories, and then inventing new gods as needed. Course, in a fantasy universe, this runs into the problem that if the deities are both real and active in the world, you can't get away with the same kind of mythological inconsistency you can in reality. Plus there's the issue of small sample size. The reason many real world myths have similarities is because we all live on the same planet, and come from common stock less than a million years ago. Many things are far less universal than people think, and would not be the case on another world. I think as usual, they're putting the less good articles at the end of the themed section, as I don't agree with this approach.


Kingdoms of Kalamar! An officially licensed D&D setting by kenzerco. At last, we're starting to see RPG adverts in here again.

Dragon Issue 283: May 2001


part 4/7


The D&D player's movie marathon: A little while ago, we looked at appropriate music to soundtrack your games. We continue that new interest in multimedia by looking at fantasy movies to draw inspiration from. Of course, there's the problem that a lot of these old movies are pretty cheesy, and even the ones that looked good at the time have not all dated well. And that tastes are very subjective. So this devotes as much time to going over the bad as it does the good, with films that you'll want to laugh at, or maybe with, as well as the serious epics. The two writers disagree with each other on numerous points, especially Highlander, and use this rivalry to make the article all the more interesting, adopting a conversational style that the simple but expressive art style reinforces. If this was done now, the list would be very different, given the number of high budget fantasy films that have come out over the last decade. (although not as much as the upswing in films based on comic books) So this is a little dated, but still a very entertaining article indeed, that adds a lighthearted touch to the magazine even though April is over, and reminds us that we really do have it better than we did a few decades ago in terms of media. Now the real challenge is finding the time to watch everything good that's out there, which is hardly a tragedy at all.


My character would do that!: Once again Robin Laws encourages you to metagame to make your play experience better. Don't just decide what would be in and out of character for your character in vacuum, and then be obstructive when the plot doesn't go your way. Talk to the DM and other players, and figure out a compromise that satisfies everyone. And that doesn't mean just figuring out a reason to follow the DM's plot of the week. It means making clear what you characters would like to be doing beforehand, so they can have appropriate material prepared next week. It means knowing the other players, and what they're likely to do in a situation. And yes, it will mean accepting you can't have it all your way all the time. Basically, it's about accepting that a few OOC spoilers won't enjoy your enjoyment of the plot, and may actually enhance it, and that resolving things through rational discussion is usually preferable to being a pretentious auteur with an Artistic Vision that you're not willing to share for fear or ruining the mystique. Put that in your swine pipe and smoke it. Once again, he's got some pretty good ideas you ought to pay attention too.


Fiction: Garden of souls by Richard Lee Byers. One way the 3e realms will differ quite a bit from it's 2e incarnation will be a greater interest in what happens to people after they die. This is one of those stories, where an evil force is hijacking souls from their natural destination and trapping them in a demiplane for it's own nourishment, and the protagonist has to solve that, despite being underpowered, without equipment in an alien landscape. This means there's plenty of drama and high emotional stakes involved, cool action scenes, and a moderate amount of philosophical stuff too. So this is one of those cases where I'm suspicious of the overall design direction, knowing how much drama the wall of the faithless caused later on, but won over by the writing. Codifying what happens in the afterlife for a setting closes more plot avenues than it creates, but those ones can be more interesting than the generic ones we deal with in stories set on earth.


Class acts: Another odd duck here, with the flame steward, another primary fighter and spellcaster with their own spell list, that really requires you to dip through another spellcasting class first to get into it. (although you could theoretically avoid it if you played a ranger or paladin and sucked up the cross class skill ranks. ) Like with the psi-hunter, this is probably worth it, as not only do you get lots of thematic flame based powers, you also get to turn half your fire damage into divine damage, so your theme doesn't get ruined by the many monsters that are immune to fire based attacks. Which is an important trick, and one we'll see over and over again. Another pretty decent entry, albeit still not one that can compete with a fully buffed CoDzilla. Then again, people would probably complain if it was, so there you go.