Courtesy of a story-games thread whinging about rpg.net comes this classic quote about GMing. We're not told who said it originally.

   I am an angry GM. there I've said it. I am angry because EVERYONE loves whining on and on about how lousy thier GM is. There are so many threads on this board alone about how lousy this DM and that storyteller, and that ref all are. Well what I can say is that I am a lousy GM too. I am lousy after years and years of players that all want to play nipplehead the amazing flying cheeto thief from the purple planet of crouton manufacturing. I am lousy after years and years of Laboring for weeks over a campaign only to have everyone show up and read comic books while I try to describe the setting. I am lousy after taking time to ask all the players what they want to see out of my campaign and trying my hardest to work it in only to have them kill thier character off anyway so that they can play a human.pumpkin hybrid whose genitals smell vaguely of partially digested garfield slippers. Lots of people like to talk about how bad
some player is in thier game. Well let me tell you as painfull as it is to PC alongside them its even worse to try and run a game for them. While they are busy trying to use thier sneak skill while riding a motorcycle through a paine of glass, we are trying to rack our brains figuring out the ins and outs of all the mornic crap they want to do. We're the ones who have to deal with the politicing of kicking someone out of the game, cause even though he is everyone's friend, his time travelling viking berserker that farts out explosive talking ducks simply does not fit into the Black Ops game we are running. We are the ones who get told that the game we have been planning for 8 months "sucks fat donkey balls". And most of all we are the ones that have to look a player dead in the face and say that his latest ludicrous character is "just fine" when really you want to smack him in the face for making another quadrepalegic dwarven cleric of the god of butter. When we say "I am planning a high powered game" and someone makes a stablehand who has all his skills in manure shoveling, it ticks us off. When we point out 760 possible solutions to the problem at hand, and you still decide that the plan you have already tried for the past 9 hours of real time involving a granola bar and hyperactive rabbit is still what you are going to try again, that ticks us off too. The reason lots of us have "pet NPCs" is because we need someone there to snatch away the granola bar, stomp the crud out of the rabbit and kick your butt through that big door labeled "EXIT OF THE DUNGEON". The reason lots of us dont plan anything in advance is because we know we will be mocked for whatever we think of anyway. And then the few times we do get good players we have become so jaded with "Benny Beanfart the magnificent" that we just fall into the same routine we have doen for the past 8 years, which is sit behind a litle screen and draw stick men while we wait for the players to shout something vaguely coherent at us so that we may react semi-appropriately.

That's a beautiful rant. Are there any other angry GMs in the house tonight?

Not me. My players are amazing, awesome, and fantastic! I am a happy, happy GM!

-clash

I'm never angry on account of my players being awesome and my encouragement thereof.

My perspective is that if it stops being fun, you should stop playing.  Then find something else (game or otherwise) that would be more fun.  Games are supposed to be fun for everyone -- GM's included.

Sometimes its hard.

I mean I've been there, where you've got a limited selection of players and one of them turns out to be a total choad. We once had a guy who attempted "Stealth away" during a meet (Whatever the hell that meant.) in plain view of everyone. He just figured since he had a stealth rating of five, he could walk away from the group, while clearly in their sight, and they'd fail to see him. And why?

Why did he want to do this?

He wanted to rob them.

That was probably the smartest and coolest thing he ever did. But we had four players. We were on deployment, and we had little choice. Finally we didn't even care, and the responsibility fell on me to tell him to beat feet.

That wasn't pleasant.

Here's a funny thing, Serious Paul. It's possible to just walk away from people without them actually noticing. People don't pay attention. As Gerard van der Leun at American Digest once noted, we tend to spend our time asleep. Cut off from our world and not paying a bit of attention to it. My stealth must be at best a 1, and I have no trouble disappearing in plain sight.

It's amazing what you can get away with, once you understand how people work.

Quote from: mythusmageHere's a funny thing, Serious Paul. It's possible to just walk away from people without them actually noticing. People don't pay attention. As Gerard van der Leun at American Digest[url] once noted, we tend to spend our time asleep. Cut off from our world and not paying a bit of attention to it. My stealth must be at best a 1, and I have no trouble disappearing in plain sight.

It's amazing what you can get away with, once you understand how people work.

Oh, I bet GM's LOVE you...

The only time I have problem GM-ing is when I try to force my players into a storyline that they're just not interested in.  That's when they tend to ignore the story and go whip molotov cocktails as hookers.

Er, in game, that is.

Wow.  My group rocks.  I absolutely have no complaints.  And they haven't had any about me (yet!).

I don't understand that attitude.  A GM should know what their players want going into the game.  For my current game, I gave my group a big menu of archetypal campaigns before I made any notes, they chose one, and I ran with that choice to build the overall story arc.  I think we're all happy with how the game's turned out so far.

I don't get it.  If you don't have fun gaming with your friends, do something else you all enjoy.  Not everyone likes gaming, and not everyone who likes gaming likes the same kind of gaming.

THat post made me laugh out loud.  Oh lord have I seen that kind of shit so many times it hurts, and I don't even GM.  

It's also especially amusing when taken as a sort of counterpoint to the constant hatred of GMs.

I'm not an angry GM, but I am a happy spelling Nazi. I don't know how long I've waited to find someone on the internet who can spell something properly:

QuoteI am angry because EVERYONE loves whining[/u][/i] on and on about how lousy thier GM is.

I am a happy GM because after a session, my players rush to get me a post game vodka. I am a happy GM because my style used to be improv in nature but when my players told me, they prefered it when I wore my visionary hat and hence more predetermined plot heavy adventures, they still manage to surprise me and leave me wanting more. I am a happy GM because my players really dig my campaigns and show it through their characters. I am a happy GM because running a game (no matter how much I don't dig rules) is like watching a great TV show or movie. I am a happy GM because my players instinctively get the tone/atmosphere I'm trying to convey, and show me they get it by the protrayal of their characters. I am a happy GM because, my players look for adventure - they don't wait for it to come to them. I am a happy GM because my players will try anything, even a game in which they all play women on a smoke break. I am a happy GM because my players plant campaigns ideas in my head, and are extremely interested to know the progress of said ideas. I am a happy GM because, I don't have to organize a session - they organize everything and wait for me. I am a happy GM because the GM never has to make a contribution to the snack/drink fund - even though I do. I am a happy GM because if a player has a problem with the adventure he/she waits till after the adventure to bring it up...and then in an extremely friendly manner. I am a happy GM because my players don't hold any rules/judgment mistakes against me. I am a happy GM because, my players always get new stuff - games - without even telling me, and most times it's really cool stuff. I am a happy GM because my players have influenced the way I game as much as I have influenced them. I am a happy GM because I nearly always get to run the campaigns I dream up and they are well received by my players. Lastly, I'm a happy if smug son of a bitch

Regards,
David R

Quote from: mythusmageHere's a funny thing, Serious Paul. It's possible to just walk away from people without them actually noticing. People don't pay attention. As Gerard van der Leun at American Digest once noted, we tend to spend our time asleep. Cut off from our world and not paying a bit of attention to it. My stealth must be at best a 1, and I have no trouble disappearing in plain sight.

It's amazing what you can get away with, once you understand how people work.

And had he any understanding of anything like that I'd have entertained his request seriously. I always say as long as you can justify it logically (With in the realm of the game) then go for it.

If your character has a logical reason to start with a nuclear hand grenade then cool.

If not then why ask for it?

Quote from: JimBobOzThat's a beautiful rant. Are there any other angry GMs in the house tonight?

Maybe not angry but emphatic. I feel for that guy and sometimes, I have been there.

I've played with a lot of people over the years. Hundreds. The reality is, it can't always be good.

These days, it's close to perfect most of the time. I set the bar at playing with people I am comfortable with, can talk with, can trust and with whom I share interests.

GMing is definitely not an "angry affair" for me, but that's because I brook no shit whatsoever from players.  Luckily, my campaigns are popular enough that I can pick and choose who's in my gaming groups, so I get the creme de la creme usually, of people who will jive well with my style and I with theirs.

I know other people don't have that luxury.

RPGPundit

Quote from: James McMurrayI'm not an angry GM, but I am a happy spelling Nazi. I don't know how long I've waited to find someone on the internet who can spell something properly:

Mr. Spelling Nazi is confused:

3 results for: whining

View results from: Dictionary | Thesaurus | Encyclopedia | All Reference | the Web
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source
whine     /ʰwaɪn, waɪn/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hwahyn, wahyn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, whined, whin·ing, noun
–verb (used without object)
1.   to utter a low, usually nasal, complaining cry or sound, as from uneasiness, discontent, peevishness, etc.: The puppies were whining from hunger.
2.   to snivel or complain in a peevish, self-pitying way: He is always whining about his problems.
–verb (used with object)
3.   to utter with or as if with a whine: I whined my litany of complaints.
–noun
4.   a whining utterance, sound, or tone.
5.   a feeble, peevish complaint.
[Origin: bef. 1150; ME whinen (v.), OE hwīnan to whiz; c. ON hvīna]

—Related forms
whiner, noun
whin·ing·ly, adverb

—Synonyms 1. moan, whimper. 2. See complain.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.
American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source
whine   (hwīn, wīn)  Pronunciation Key    
v.   whined, whin·ing, whines

v.   intr.

   1. To utter a plaintive, high-pitched, protracted sound, as in pain, fear, supplication, or complaint.
   2. To complain or protest in a childish fashion.
   3. To produce a sustained noise of relatively high pitch: jet engines whining.


v.   tr.
To utter with a whine.

n.  

   1. The act of whining.
   2. A whining sound.
   3. A complaint uttered in a plaintive tone.



[Middle English whinen, from Old English hwīnan, to make a whizzing sound.]

whin'er n., whin'ing·ly adv., whin'y, whin'ey adj.
(Download Now or Buy the Book)
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
WordNet - Cite This Source
whining

adjective
1.    long and high-pitched like a whine or plaintive crying
2.    habitually complaining; "a whining child" [syn: fretful]

WordNet® 2.1, © 2005 Princeton University

Mayhap thou art a Brit, and thinking of "whinging?"

-clash