Meh, it's just a hobby. There are guys who like to fish once in a while and there are guys who go to fishing lure conventions. Roleplaying is no different. Some people are casual hobbyists, others are diehard enthusiasts. There's no right or wrong. It's simply a case of where you feel you fall in the equation. If you are joe casual you don't care about the details, just the end result. If you are an avid gamer, you root around to find the right tools, tell your "big fish" tales, and like to chat with other enthusiasts.

Look.


If these guys are "hardcore fans", who needs to really give a shit that you pretend to be a busty drow sorceress on your off-time?

I don't primarily self identify as a "gamer" any more than I self identify as a movie viewer. Roughly I spend an equal amount of time on both actiivities. I think hardcore gamers are funny, and occasionally worthy of pity- like, "that poor bastards never going to get laid." It's just pity though, not malicious pity. I often feel the same way about couch potato sports fans who I know- many of whom are married. I like most gamers I meet, but there are certain types that I don't. I have no real use for anyone who thinks that gaming is important, for instance, but it's the same with sports fans, and lets face it at least none of my tax dollars went to buy gaming books or to supply the local fatbeards with a venue- I can't say the same for the local stadium.
That said,  being cornered and regalled with the exploits of someone's character is living hell for me, but in that, it's not any different than  some of the UFO, Atlantis, 2012 apocalypse (I've done work on the Maya recently so latley I'm getting more of this crap than you could possibly believe) ect.. talk I've been subjected to over the years. Insane obsessive bores are insane obsessive bores regardless of their interest. Compared to most of my interests outside of my career, gaming is farily convienient, overall (especially as a player), but truthfully if I weren't so busy all the time, I'd probably spend more time with my cameras or my drawing table. Hell, most of us would probably give up gaming for the chance to do something else (whatever this something else is varies from person to person). Like Spike, I've also gotten into RAW lately. It's just easier for me.

I'm hardcore and married (to another hardcore) and have a kid, so...pity me not.

But I do wish this cold would go away.

I'm hardcore as well...but my wife-to-be (in three weeks!) is NOT a gamer.

My wife is not a gamer and never has been. I've got two kids, and I've been married 11 years.

Still gaming weekly.

Snap!

I game a lot, so I'm a gamer. I'm involved with games. I hang out on gaming messageboards, discuss rule sets with other gamers, and swap gaming war stories.

That said, I'm pretty sure I'm not socially defunct, which is what people expect when they hear 'role-player'. If hobbies come up in a conversation, I'll generally admit to being kind of a media nerd and a gamer, and it surprises people.

I think it goes to show that people don't have to be totally reprehensible to play games. None of my friends are; we'd kick them out of the group or never invite them in the first place if that were the case.

So, I guess I identify as a gamer, because it's something I invest time in. Really, I just don't talk about it in-depth, because it's not an interest others share. Like I don't want to hear about the superbowl, really.

I think gamer shame is mostly just foolishness, and you should look closely at whoever you notice promoting the idea. Examine their motivations and quite often you'll see it's part of an economic campaign.

The crucial link between "Buy into our stuff, we're not like those weird geeks", is that you then have to promote the idea that those "other guys" are weird geeks.

...

There are two guys across the cubicle from me that spend their mornings talking about Poker, of all things. Really in depth discussion of each hand, about what cards were turned over, how much money was won or lost on what bet, and "getting in good before whatever the flop is". (Or something like that. I'm not sure what a flop is.)

Some of the guys I hang out with like to talk about lawn care. Like what techniques they are using, and which products make for a greener lawn. What the best mowers are. They talk about uniformity, parasites, watering.. all that stuff.

There's no shame in this stuff. It's just talking about stuff your'e interested in.

It isn't interpretive dance.

What AM said, but with an outborad engine and some blinking lights.

Totally in agreement!

BTW, I'm a hardcore gamer - heck, I design and publish 'em - and I have a lot of friends, a gamer wife of 22 years, and a 20 year old gamer son, who is also a designer. I'm totally open about my gaming, but I don't force it on folks. If they ask, I'll discuss it happily, but I don't introduce it into conversations about baseball or the weather or TV. I've met quite a few ex- and closet RPgamers, even one who had bought and played one of my games (Cold Space) but I know far more e-gamers who love to talk about their games, gaming systems, and adventures. No-one is shocked I play, no-one associates RPgamers with stinky catpiss men, and no-one associates RPgames with social retardation. The biggest association is with age - a lot of people played when they were 13, so that sticks in their mind. Teenage kids playing in their folks' basement.

-clash

Yeah, feel the gamer love.  Hobby shame is freakin' weird.

Quote from: Dr Rotwang!I'm hardcore and married (to another hardcore) and have a kid, so...pity me not.

But I do wish this cold would go away.

notice my use of the word occasionally.

Quote from: RedFoxYeah, feel the gamer love.  Hobby shame is freakin' weird.

QFT!  I'm not ashamed of being a gun enthusiast, I'm not ashamed of being a computer geek, I'm not ashamed of being a bad-horror-film aficionado, and I sure as HELL am not ashamed to be a gamer!

Quote from: Aosnotice my use of the word occasionally.

I did.  

Wait.

Hey, you wanna fight?!

Quote from: joewolzQFT!  I'm not ashamed of being a gun enthusiast, I'm not ashamed of being a computer geek, I'm not ashamed of being a bad-horror-film aficionado, and I sure as HELL am not ashamed to be a gamer!

Hey, I like all those things too!