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Dumbest D&D Creature?

Started by RPGPundit, January 26, 2018, 05:54:23 AM

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Just Another Snake Cult

#30
January 26, 2018, 11:06:21 PM
I have a lot of affection for D&D's bizarre menagerie of oddball monsters drawn from classical myth, the literature of Borges... and dime-store Hong Kong bootleg Ultraman toys. There is a certain "The ridiculous and sublime are not necessarily opposites" je ne sais quoi to powerful heroes having to regard brain moles, vegepygmies, and giant flies as serious threats.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Rod's Duo Narcotics

#31
January 26, 2018, 11:16:16 PM
The Adherer - a Semi-intelligent, Lawful Evil (?) thing that looks like a mummy but isn't, it's just a sticky humanoid

[ATTACH=CONFIG]2182[/ATTACH]

And I say this as someone who loves the Fiend Folio for what it is (incidentally, I owned the FF before I got a Monster Manual...it was a Christmas present along with the Moldvay Basic set and U1 Sinister Secret of Saltmarsh...were my initial forays into D&D a little outre? you bet)
Ich Dien

Just Another Snake Cult

#32
January 26, 2018, 11:28:28 PM
Quote from: Rod's Duo Narcotics;1022188The Adherer - a Semi-intelligent, Lawful Evil (?) thing that looks like a mummy but isn't, it's just a sticky humanoid

There is this whole weird sub-genre of monsters in AD&D 1st Ed where their whole gimmick is "You think it's undead, but when your cleric tries to turn it... Ha ha, suckers! Fuck you!". The pseudo-undead in the Monster Manual II (Which I still maintain is a far more absurd tome than the exquisitely weird Fiend Folio) being the worst offender.

Apparently a lot of AD&D DMs felt turning was over-powered or abused.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Graewulf

#33
January 27, 2018, 12:01:48 AM
Gelatinous Cube. Black Pudding. Green Slime. They may be iconic, but they just seem like a stupid idea to me.

Rod's Duo Narcotics

#34
January 27, 2018, 12:05:16 AM
Quote from: Just Another Snake Cult;1022193There is this whole weird sub-genre of monsters in AD&D 1st Ed where their whole gimmick is "You think it's undead, but when your cleric tries to turn it... Ha ha, suckers! Fuck you!". The pseudo-undead in the Monster Manual II (Which I still maintain is a far more absurd tome than the exquisitely weird Fiend Folio) being the worst offender.

Apparently a lot of AD&D DMs felt turning was over-powered or abused.

I can almost hear Rush's Permanent Waves playing in the background when I visualize your scenario
Ich Dien

Omega

#35
January 27, 2018, 04:08:23 AM
Quote from: markmohrfield;1022177Not really one creature, and they aren't particularly lame individually, but did we really need all those races who basically amounted to goblin, bigger goblin, even bigger goblin, etc?

Yes! Otherwise how would you be able to tell them apart? :o

Omega

#36
January 27, 2018, 04:18:18 AM
Quote from: Just Another Snake Cult;1022193There is this whole weird sub-genre of monsters in AD&D 1st Ed where their whole gimmick is "You think it's undead, but when your cleric tries to turn it... Ha ha, suckers! Fuck you!". The pseudo-undead in the Monster Manual II (Which I still maintain is a far more absurd tome than the exquisitely weird Fiend Folio) being the worst offender.

Apparently a lot of AD&D DMs felt turning was over-powered or abused.

Or. Someone at White Dwarf thought it made perfect sense for some wizard or god to create things that look like undead as a fake out. Hell. Keep on the Borderlands has zombies you cant turn because the cult made some necklaces of protection from turning and outfitted their zombies with them. So instead of crying like a baby that the mean ol DM is messin with your precious clerics powah, just maybee realize that gosh! Not everything is 100% predictable. Which you somehow missed in a game where you can FAIL to turn undead, or be so low level they just laugh at you and your puny god/goddess/eldritch horror/accountant/thingy.

Omega

#37
January 27, 2018, 04:33:01 AM
Quote from: Graewulf;1022199Gelatinous Cube. Black Pudding. Green Slime. They may be iconic, but they just seem like a stupid idea to me.

You failed biology class (or had a really sucky biology class in which case it isnt your fault) didnt you? Get a microscope or hit up Youtube and watch these things in action.

Not fun fact: Back in the 80s or 90s where we used to live we had some sort of amoeba colony infestation in a local lake or pond. At least one person died. Rare but it happens.

Willie the Duck

#38
January 27, 2018, 07:48:10 AM
Quote from: Steven Mitchell;1022122My second thought was Gelatinous Cube just to see if I could get a rise out of you ... :)

To be fair, the Gelatinous Cube we ended up with was not the one he envisioned.

Quote from: Omega;1022226So instead of crying like a baby that the mean ol DM is messin with your precious clerics powah, just maybee realize that gosh! Not everything is 100% predictable. Which you somehow missed in a game where...

Quote from: Omega;1022228You failed biology class (or had a really sucky biology class in which case it isnt your fault) didnt you? Get a microscope or hit up Youtube and watch these things in action.

We get it. You feel superior to people complaining about things being stupid in a thread where that is the entire premise. Is our beloved game that has endured over 40 years of scrutiny too effetely fragile to endure criticism, or did life just pee in your cheerios this morning?

QuoteNot fun fact: Back in the 80s or 90s where we used to live we had some sort of amoeba colony infestation in a local lake or pond. At least one person died. Rare but it happens.

That happened near here within the past 4-5 years. Little girl I think. Really hits you in the 'one death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic' zone.

Just Another Snake Cult

#39
January 27, 2018, 10:46:34 PM
Quote from: Omega;1022226So instead of crying like a baby that the mean ol DM is messin with your precious clerics powah, just maybee realize that gosh! Not everything is 100% predictable. Which you somehow missed in a game where you can FAIL to turn undead, or be so low level they just laugh at you and your puny god/goddess/eldritch horror/accountant/thingy.

You apparently saw some weird rancor in my post that was not at all intended. Far from it. Not only did I not cry over the use of these monsters, I in fact have affection for them. Particularly the adherer, which IIRC I used in the first dungeon I ever designed back in '81 or '82. The genuinely creepy Brothers of the Pine are another similar critter from the same era that I really dug.

Trust me, when I'm mad about something you'll fucking know it.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Darrin Kelley

#40
January 27, 2018, 11:01:21 PM
The Rust Monster.
 

Gronan of Simmerya

#41
January 27, 2018, 11:06:35 PM
Quote from: Darrin Kelley;1022303The Rust Monster.

What do you expect from something Gary yanked out of a bag of plastic toy monsters, took one look at the color, and said "Hey, look, it's a rust monster!  When it hits you your armor rusts."

And it took less time than it took me to type.

He yanked it out of his ass on the spur of the moment.
You should go to GaryCon.  Period.

The rules can\'t cure stupid, and the rules can\'t cure asshole.

Just Another Snake Cult

#42
January 27, 2018, 11:24:41 PM
Quote from: Gronan of Simmerya;1022306What do you expect from something Gary yanked out of a bag of plastic toy monsters, took one look at the color, and said "Hey, look, it's a rust monster!  When it hits you your armor rusts."

And it took less time than it took me to type.

He yanked it out of his ass on the spur of the moment.

Great story!
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

AsenRG

#43
January 28, 2018, 03:19:05 AM
It's always been a tough competition with multiple contenders for the title and after reading this thread, I was reminded of new favourites.
But basically, everything mentioned in the thread is worthy of the title.
What Do You Do In Tekumel? See examples!
"Life is not fair. If the campaign setting is somewhat like life then the setting also is sometimes not fair." - Bren

zx81

#44
January 28, 2018, 12:01:48 PM
Quote from: Gronan of Simmerya;1022306What do you expect from something Gary yanked out of a bag of plastic toy monsters, took one look at the color, and said "Hey, look, it's a rust monster!  When it hits you your armor rusts."

And it took less time than it took me to type.

He yanked it out of his ass on the spur of the moment.

I actually have that plastic toy, along with the "Bulette" and probably something else. My kid keeps them with his dinosaours and animals.
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