They have their own mutual antagonism society.

See, I like Rust Monsters. I can almost imagine how they might exist in some kind of believable ecology. They eat metal, so of course you find them underground--that's where the ore is. And after the fight, we gotta go back to town and buy more swords. Fair enough.

"But the thing ate my magic sword!" You poor baby, you lost one of the most common magical items in the game. I guess you'll just have to play through one of the dozens of modules that has three or four +1 Swords lying in a pile at the end of the dungeon, and find yourself another one. Or go back to the tavern where your character hangs out and take your spare +1 Sword out of your sword closet.  

The monster I loathe? The Umpleby. A short sasquatch with treasure sense whose long hair not only gives it a static electricity attack, but can be woven into unbreakable lassoes, which it can use proficiently. Its role in life is to find player characters in a dungeon/abandoned catacomb/whatever, follow them around, and annoy the shit out of them. Everything about the Umpleby is idiotic and screams "The DM is just fucking with us because he is a jerk".

At least the Umpleby serves a purpose, though. His presence in a DM's game is a certain sign that I don't want to play in that DM's stupid fucking game. It's better to find out these things early on so we don't waste so much of our time, after all.

Tekumel has a creature called a 'krukru,' a small critter that will grab something random and run away.

Phil said it was inspired by his experiences with monkeys on the grounds of temples in various parts of Asia.  Little fuckers will climb up you and take anything they can grab.

Semi-related tangent:
Yesterday in gaming, we were discussing silly monster ideas we had when we were younger. Mine included animal cracker and gummi bear monsters, that as your characters defeated, you got to take off the battle mat (or whatever we used at ages 8-18, I don't think we had an actual battle mat) and eat. In the retelling, it occurred to me that gummi bears could also be called 'gelatinous cubs.' Now my question is, did I dream up that 'dad-joke' groaner, or did I actually read it here in the past month or so?

Oh God, that's bad.  I love it.

My personal vote for "Stupidest Monster Ever":

Back in the early to mid 80s, when Cerebus the Aardvark was still funny, before Dave Sim became Dave Sim the (Ha Ha Ha) Mad, somebody sent in a description of his D&D monster race... the... I shit you not... "Aardvark Dudes."

Essentially, Aardvark Dudes were a race of 5' tall Cerebuses.  Cerebi?  Okay, fine.  We all liked Cerebus, even if the name was rancid goat ass.

But what turned them into the World Champion Stupidest Ever is that in every round of combat, there was something like a 20% chance or so that an Aardvark Dude would suddenly shit a random magic item.  Just.. out of nowhere.  Including BIG things; a magic shield, a staff, whatever.

Which puts them at the top of the heap in terms of sheer WTFery.

Quote from: Gronan of Simmerya;1026051My personal vote for "Stupidest Monster Ever":

Back in the early to mid 80s, when Cerebus the Aardvark was still funny, before Dave Sim became Dave Sim the (Ha Ha Ha) Mad, somebody sent in a description of his D&D monster race... the... I shit you not... "Aardvark Dudes."

Essentially, Aardvark Dudes were a race of 5' tall Cerebuses.  Cerebi?  Okay, fine.  We all liked Cerebus, even if the name was rancid goat ass.

But what turned them into the World Champion Stupidest Ever is that in every round of combat, there was something like a 20% chance or so that an Aardvark Dude would suddenly shit a random magic item.  Just.. out of nowhere.  Including BIG things; a magic shield, a staff, whatever.

Which puts them at the top of the heap in terms of sheer WTFery.

WTFairy sounds like a better name for that.  

Quote from: Willie the Duck;1026045Semi-related tangent:
Yesterday in gaming, we were discussing silly monster ideas we had when we were younger. Mine included animal cracker and gummi bear monsters, that as your characters defeated, you got to take off the battle mat (or whatever we used at ages 8-18, I don't think we had an actual battle mat) and eat. In the retelling, it occurred to me that gummi bears could also be called 'gelatinous cubs.' Now my question is, did I dream up that 'dad-joke' groaner, or did I actually read it here in the past month or so?

Not in the past month or so, and maybe not here, but I'm almost sure Gronan has confirmed that;).

[ATTACH=CONFIG]2240[/ATTACH] RPG.net "Intellectualloid"

I used to read the monster manuals just for fun.  And I loved Dragon Magazines "Ecology Of" series!  
I can't think of a single monster that I just hate or is useless- when we gamed every other day in my teenage years, it was kind of a challenge to find a monster we hadn't used yet and find a way to blend them into the campaign.   If I were pressed I would say all the random modrons from 1e MMII were kind of goofy.

I must confess that I put an anthropomorphic race of aardvarks in my Bare Bones (no not that one, I never really published mine) rules.  They were noted for their sophisticated sense of humour.

I didn't mind the anthropomorphic aardvarks.

It was the randomly shitting magic items during combat that triggered my WTF switch.

I'm thinking of using a race of blob based humanoids who don't have bones and are highly pressurized and burst when struck hard enough to pierce their membrane in a GURPS Dungeon Fantasy game.

Quote from: Willie the Duck;1026045Semi-related tangent:
Yesterday in gaming, we were discussing silly monster ideas we had when we were younger. Mine included animal cracker and gummi bear monsters, that as your characters defeated, you got to take off the battle mat (or whatever we used at ages 8-18, I don't think we had an actual battle mat) and eat. In the retelling, it occurred to me that gummi bears could also be called 'gelatinous cubs.' Now my question is, did I dream up that 'dad-joke' groaner, or did I actually read it here in the past month or so?

That actually sounds really sweet. I think those would be great encounters inside a witch's gingerbread cottage. Make it a gingerbread castle! And have it travel on huge chicken legs! And the witch looks like the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz!

Sometimes it is loads of fun to give in to your inner child.

Quote from: BoxCrayonTales;1026208Sometimes it is loads of fun to give in to your inner child.

Inner child is great.  Inner teenager is the one that gives me pause.

Quote from: BoxCrayonTales;1026208That actually sounds really sweet. I think those would be great encounters inside a witch's gingerbread cottage. Make it a gingerbread castle! And have it travel on huge chicken legs! And the witch looks like the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz!

Sometimes it is loads of fun to give in to your inner child.

I have discovered that DMing for children has been really rewarding. Back in the early 2000s, I tried DMing for the 8 y.o. daughter of my at-the-time girlfriend. That didn't stay very much like a D&D game so much as just letting her make up stuff. Recently I've been playing Beyond the Wall with my nephew and his friends (13-14) and that has worked better as a game, but we both have lots of other things to do so it is hard to arrange.

Quote from: Steven Mitchell;1026215Inner child is great.  Inner teenager is the one that gives me pause.

Yeah, as I mentioned in the introduce yourself thread, I kinda left my teenage things behind when I turned 20. But the inner 8 y.o. with his toy swords and rocket ships and ideas about flash Gordon and Thundarr the Barbarian joining forces to defeat the Wizard of Oz or whatever? That's gold.