How well do you curate your gaming group. What are your criteria?

Quote from: tenbones;1122088How well do you curate your gaming group. What are your criteria?

Easy peasy- if I would not hang out with you outside of gaming you're not gonna be at my house rolling funny dice pretending to be an elf starship captain.

Quote from: Gorilla Feet;1122090Easy peasy- if I would not hang out with you outside of gaming you're not gonna be at my house rolling funny dice pretending to be an elf starship captain.

That's the floor.

Interested enough in the game to show up reasonably often--especially since we are fairly lax about how often is reasonable and are equipped to handle a varying roster.  So if can't clear that low bar, no point in trying.  

Then there's a "chemistry with the group" thing, or "good fit"--however you want to put it.  That's hard to pin down, and can't say for sure until we try it with some people.  Any time I've had multiple groups (such as now), I've had people in each group that would not be a good fit for the other, while most could move freely back and forth with no real problems.

But then, we are mostly causal players.  It's 20% social, 20% food, and 60% gaming.

Yeah - for me, socializing, being "friends", etc. are all secondary to the act of gaming itself.

It's hard for a lot of gamers to understand that, especially those that are casual or new to gaming. I recently cut a couple of players from my group that I've known for decades, not because I didn't like them or anything - but because I got tired of them just "being there" to socialize and not actually GAME. It greatly impacted the ability of my group to take the game to "the next level". And frankly, I'd rather give their spots to people that were into the endeavor more than an excuse to be away from their wives and commit nothing to the game itself.

Conversely, getting a couple of noobs into the mix, and they're in hog-heaven because they're not used to the freedom of play I allow (experience = bandwidth), but they still have a lot of to learn... because they've developed a lot of modern gaming habits, where video-game logic rules, instead of actual roleplaying with common-sense in the conceit of the game. They have a hard time distinguishing my description of a person/place/thing from the "The GM is PROMPTING me to do/feel/engage ". When in reality I'm just describing things with detail.

But yeah - sometimes I've let personal feelings about someone due to "time served" get in the way of the game itself. And I've decided I'm not doing that anymore. We can be friends outside of the game. We can be friends inside of the game - as long as you're here for the same reason I am. It seems to be a weird thing to explain to people that feel otherwise - like they're entitled to my time and effort to entertain *them* first, and their participation is considered discretionary at best.

Negative Ghost-rider.

That kinda touches on one of my pet peeves.
"Best Friend" like I should rank them with the one(s) insisting expecting to be at the top.

My only ranking is Friend or Acquaintance.
Maybe that makes me a bad person.

I'm not going to change my gaming to cater to a "Best Friend's" specific wants when everyone else is fine.

Quote from: tenbones;1122100Yeah - for me, socializing, being "friends", etc. are all secondary to the act of gaming itself.

It's hard for a lot of gamers to understand that, especially those that are casual or new to gaming. I recently cut a couple of players from my group that I've known for decades, not because I didn't like them or anything - but because I got tired of them just "being there" to socialize and not actually GAME. It greatly impacted the ability of my group to take the game to "the next level". And frankly, I'd rather give their spots to people that were into the endeavor more than an excuse to be away from their wives and commit nothing to the game itself.

Conversely, getting a couple of noobs into the mix, and they're in hog-heaven because they're not used to the freedom of play I allow (experience = bandwidth), but they still have a lot of to learn... because they've developed a lot of modern gaming habits, where video-game logic rules, instead of actual roleplaying with common-sense in the conceit of the game. They have a hard time distinguishing my description of a person/place/thing from the "The GM is PROMPTING me to do/feel/engage ". When in reality I'm just describing things with detail.

But yeah - sometimes I've let personal feelings about someone due to "time served" get in the way of the game itself. And I've decided I'm not doing that anymore. We can be friends outside of the game. We can be friends inside of the game - as long as you're here for the same reason I am. It seems to be a weird thing to explain to people that feel otherwise - like they're entitled to my time and effort to entertain *them* first, and their participation is considered discretionary at best.

Negative Ghost-rider.

How do you handle people who are super invested in the game, but kind of shitty to hang around? Do you prioritize the fact that they're there to game or do you cut them loose?

As for my answer, over the years, I've found "enthusiasm" to be the #1 valued trait, followed by "perspective" to balance it out. If they aren't awful to be around, everything else falls into place.

I curate my gaming group from those curated friends that are interested in gaming -- YMMV.

Quote from: dkabq;1122140I curate my gaming group from those curated friends that are interested in gaming -- YMMV.

Yeah, that's pretty much me.

"curate"?

Quote from: Kyle Aaron;1122149"curate"?

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/curate2

After over 40 years of gaming I gave up on gaming groups. Strictly a solo act now.

Quote from: Gorilla Feet;1122090Easy peasy- if I would not hang out with you outside of gaming you're not gonna be at my house rolling funny dice pretending to be an elf starship captain.

Agreed and seconded. Anyone interested in joining needs to act and behave like a responsible adult. As well as no edition warring. The second gets one immediately booted from our gaming table. I don't understand the strangeness of say hating 5E, going on a rant at a 5E table then expecting the group to simply shrug and accept that kind of behavior. Let alone joining a table where ones hates the edition of the rpg. We are also not a X-card kind of table nor I have arachnophobia yet I'm going to joing a campaign where Drow and Lolth are the main antagonists and the DM is going to change everything ti suit my and my needs alone table.

i'll play with anyone but i will not filter my language for you or cater to your feelings at all, act like a tumblerina get treated like one, if you can't handle that theres the door. if you make a special snowflake character expect npcs to treat you like you've got 7 heads.

Quote from: Slipshot762;1122170i'll play with anyone but i will not filter my language for you or cater to your feelings at all, act like a tumblerina get treated like one, if you can't handle that theres the door. if you make a special snowflake character expect npcs to treat you like you've got 7 heads.

I assume you have no problem if they ask you to leave too then.