All of the great GM's I know act very confidently - if one of their players gives them a hard time about something, they just ignore it. I'm exactly the opposite - I have a player who (nicely) points out how badly I GM - how dumb/uninteresting plot threads are, how stupid my elder Vampire NPC's are, mistakes I make w/ the canon/setting.

Given that I've already talked to this guy and the other players like having him there, how can I be more confident? (I have 8 gagillion other threads addressing how I can be a better GM to address his concerns).

Without knowing what you may/may not be doing right/wrong in your game... this doesn't sound like a confidence issue to me (though it might be). It sounds like your player is a dick.

My advice: Tell him to shut the fuck up and play the game/or leave. OR he can GM.

The realities are that generally, you're right, a good GM needs to have a little confidence in what they're doing. But if you're a noob it's hard to be confident while you're learning the ropes and you have a shit-bag like this telling you how badly you suck.

In terms of being a good GM - you need to look at your game, figure out what you want your NPC's to be about, and give them motivations other than "They sit at point-B on the map, waiting for the players to show up where I read them the following flavor-text. 'Blahblahblah." - /snooze.

Consider what you want your game to be, how your NPC's do things, and stick to your guns, son. And remember - you're responsible for your game, including who gets to play and who doesn't. Otherwise offer up the saddle to someone else. I think a GM has to want to GM. It's not for everyone. I know lots of people that say "I want to" but never do. So - as always this:

"Shit. Or get off the pot." - Yoda

Remember, as the gamemaster, you are not a jukebox that solely exists to satisfy your players - your game won't be truly great until you yourself thoroughly enjoy it. So the first step is to ask yourself what kind of game do you want to play? What do you enjoy? Why? If you are enthusaistic about your game because you know that it is (at least subjectively) really, really awesome, it will not only be easier to deliver but your enthusiasm is likely to become infectious and will also affect the players.
Talking with your players about what they like or don't like is a good idea; however, it is your campaign, so you are ultimately responsible for it, and therefore you should be able to advertise it as something great.
It also helps to shift these talks to after the session, so they don't interrupt the gameflow.

Here in Murderhoboken, Texas GMs play with a hog leg sitting right next to their Mountain Dew. The barrel peeks out right from behind the DM screen.

But seriously...

Is this the same player with the setting mastery?  I think you need to immediately set the tone that your setting isn't slavish to canon, or you'll always be at the mercy of this player. A game of byzantine manipulation and power brokering isn't worth much if the outcome, motivations, and surprise reveals are all already known by the players.

For the record, there's nothing wrong with system/setting mastery.  A player with those skills/knowledge can very easily be a boon to a DM.  It's also possible that this player *thinks* they are being helpful, but it seems clear (to me, anyway) that they aren't being helpful.

Kudos to you for the effort your putting into making this work.  I hope your the majority of your players appreciate that effort as well.

Quote from: Natty Bodak;840177Here in Murderhoboken, Texas GMs play with a hog leg sitting right next to their Mountain Dew. The barrel peeks out right from behind the DM screen.

Here in TX, we have Jack or Maker's, neat, next to our hog-leg. Get'er right.

Quote from: tenbones;840203Here in TX, we have Jack or Maker's, neat, next to our hog-leg. Get'er right.

That's behind the screen so as to not take attention from the hogleg. Don't give away all of our secrets!

Damn! my bad!

Run a game that you know, but he doesn't.

Tell the stupid fucker to run the game himself, then. No excuse for douche baggery of that order. (Why do folks put up with this anti-social shit?)

Just shrug it off.  Are the other players having a good time?  Are you having a good time?  Then that's what matters.  One guy being a dick shouldn't undermine all the good stuff you're doing.

Also, develop a critical eye to your own failings.  If he's right about your elder PCs sucking, then make them not suck.  Ask for advice on forums about how to do that.  If he's wrong, or nobody else sees a problem, then just shrug it off.  

As you GM, you're going to suffer from legitimate criticism and terrible criticism, and a good trick is to learn which is which, take the former and make yourself better, and take the latter and ignore it.

Like Tenbones said, without really knowing the details it is a little hard to be sure where the problem lies here. My first suggestion is to establish whether the criticisms you are getting from this player are things you want to bring into the game and excite you. If it is simply a mismatch of expectations (i.e. he wants intricate political campaigns but you'd rather just be running dungeon crawls) then the issue isn't your GMing, it is that this probably isn't the game for him. That said, compromise is fine. If you have a player who likes politics, it doesn't hurt to give them a little. But if 5 out of 6 players are cool with the campaign as is, and he is trying to retool it in his image, that is a big problem you do not want to give into. I've seen that happen and it is never helpful to have one guy reshape the style of play at the table when everyone else is totally fine with how things are going. Your best bet might be to ask the other players for feedback.

At the end of the day while it is important to be open to player feedback and to the specific interests of the players, you really need to be GMing in a way that is true to your style and what you are good at. If you're good at running dungeon crawls, run dungeon crawls. If you're good at making NPCs come to life, throw in plenty of colorful NPCs and interactions. If you want to grow in a particular area of play because that excites you, then look for ways to improve and bring that into the game. But don't be something your not if it is going to kill your fun and make you second guess yourself constantly.

Give him the boot.

Quote from: PencilBoy99;840163how dumb/uninteresting plot threads are, how stupid my elder Vampire NPC's are, mistakes I make w/ the canon/setting.

Regarding these specific criticisms; are your NPC Vampires stupid in your opinion or his he just nitpicking? Do you care about setting canon? Do you and the other players enjoy your plot threads?

I ask because while a little constructive criticism can be really helpful, we've also all seen that player who does nothing but criticize (even if it is done politely) and a lot of time it isn't even that the things they are critiquing are a problem, they just know how to find issues in anything.

In some ways this gets into head games stuff. If someone is constantly criticizing your work, they may just be trying to get into your head to manipulate you. I don't know this guy from Adam so it is hard to make that judgement. I would say, given the explosion of threads you've had on these kinds of subjects, my spider senses are tingling and I feel like the problem may be this player.

If you ask him to hold his criticism until after the game, and he does and discusses it with you, he's genuinely trying to be helpful and you should listen to him.

If he does not, and continues to bullyrag you while you're gaming, he's an asshole, and you should say (assuming you've asked him to hold it until later as above) "Shut the fuck up during the game," and if he refuses, quit running the game.  He's being an assmunch and should be treated accordingly.

In 1983 at age 13, I started running convention games and I often got adults at my table. I had GM'd for 3 years and I was good at dealing with teen bullshit, but had zero XP GMing for adults.

I remember being intimidated by jackasses in their 20s and 30s who demanded to bring in their own PC with crazy homebrew magic items, having them tell me "how to DM" or "what the real rules meant."

At the end of one AD&D event, I had two adults screaming at me because I "ruined their convention" because...who the fuck knows. Being 13, I apologized for not pretending their elf game properly.

I got lucky because another adult player walked back into the room and heard the fucknuts ripping into me.  This guy laid into them, telling them I did a good job and they should go fuck themselves for yelling at a DM who busted his ass for them for 6 hours.

After the jackasses left, the older guy sat me down and laid down the law. He told me I needed work on handling a big table (80s D&D con tables were usually 8-10 players, not 4-6 like today). But most importantly, he told me that DM's aren't there to be the player's bitch.

That advice has stayed with me.

In 2008, I had two RPG industry "notables" at my RuneQuest game. They were Glorantha know-it-alls, I'm a Chaosium RQ II guy running RQ for a table of gamers who barely knew RQ existed. All they did for the first hour is snigger and wank about setting details that I didn't express exactly to canon and it absolutely dragged the table energy down. I was weighing giving them slack because of their "RPG celebrity" status, but suddenly I remembered, wait, I'm the GM, not their bitch!

So I told them, this isn't the game for you. You don't want to be here. They made some snarkass comments and left. The other 4 players thanked me and we enjoyed the next 3 hours and had a great time.