Quote from: Koltar on December 15, 2022, 10:56:23 PM
Greetings,
Right now my GURPS Star Trek campaign is going 'mostly' okay - even with murphy's Law interfering with our scheduling.
We try to do two game sessions a month - usually on Sundays.

This is that game group I started back in May for my friend who got diagnosed with cancer. We had not gamed in years and she really missed it.

Since mid summer we have had at least 8 game sessions - all the players say they ae having fun and enjoying the adventures.
My friend is in the Hospital since Tuesday and I worry she may take a turn for the worse.

Wondering - How do I game again after she is gone?

If I will ever game or GM again...

Hope I can ...or it will just tear me up too much.

Anyone have a situation similiar to this happen to them in the past with a game group?
A Favorite player?
Or  a Good Friend?

- Ed C.

Oh man my heart goes out to you on this Koltar.

I've had friends I gamed with die, but not so immediate in relation to the game.

I do have a habit of never personally fully letting go of a prior campaign. In my mind, no matter how many years go by and how much we've all moved on physically and mentally from that game, I still somehow think it's just on temporary hiatus and will return some day. That our PCs are still there, dealing with that setting, waiting for our return. It's very rare that we have complete closure on a campaign before moving on to the next.

I wonder if that's how this campaign of yours will have to go. That it just goes on indefinite hiatus. And the rest of you start a new game, with that other game remaining out there on hold, or as part of the lore of your setting.

Really sorry to hear that news.

But I'm sure she'd want you to continue.

It will be hard, at first, to game, or do anything.  I lost my dear brother last year.  He introduced me to HeroScape.
A few weeks ago, In got out my HeroScape and played a scenario in his honor.  You can resume play in her honor, when the time's right. May God bless her,and all of you,and all who love all of you.

One of my gaming groups has included 3of my best friends from high school.  We've been gaming together for forty years now, though we've added a couple of folks over the years.  About six months ago, one of them was diagnosed with a heart problem that couldn't be fixed.  We held off a few weeks while he was in the hospital, but resumed once he was put in hospice (he skyped in to each game).  For several weeks we played like that, and he seemed fine.  Then he missed one game because he wasn't feeling up to it.  Then he was gone.  We skipped the next week, out of respect and to give everyone a chance to deal with the emotions.  Then, the following week, we picked up the campaign where we left off, with one fewer character.  No in-game explanation needed.  We still talk about him every session.  His absence is felt.  But he would want us to keep playing.  It was his joy, too, and I'm glad we got those last few sessions together.  So we keep playing, because he would still want to be playing with us.

RIP, Dave.  You are missed.

Quote from: tenbones on December 15, 2022, 11:18:37 PM
I gamed on because they would think it absurd for me to stop on their behalf.

I can't stress this enough. Our gaming group just recently (in October) lost one of our members completely unexpectedly. I know for a FACT that he'd be haunting my ass and making fun of me if we stopped our games because of it. His widow brought me all of his dice a couple of weeks after it happened. They absolutely seem to favor my players when I use them in game. Go figure.

Quote from: Jam The MF on December 16, 2022, 01:00:22 AM
If it were me, I'd create a town NPC in her honor. 

A more fitting tribute doesn't exist. You'd best believe there is now a MAJOR npc in my world that pays homage to our friend.

RIP, Eric/Glarnack/Theo'Remus/Hackenchop. You were the best dwarf.

  Oh my, Koltar. My heart goes out to you and your circles in the face of this looming tragedy. Naturally one must take a moment to grieve when they pass.

That said, I believe most loved ones want love and happiness in kind for those they may leave behind. To be in the land of sorrow is one thing, to stay there in residence is another. When your heart is ready, return back to the light with fond memory of their laughter and fun. 

Can't say I've experienced this, Koltar, but I'll be praying for the whole situation.  That is brutal, for sure.  I'm sure she would feel awful if her circumstance ended your gaming career, so take that as encouragement to continue when you're ready.  In the meantime game like you never have before.  She'll appreciate it for sure and it will lead to happy memories.  Great way to keep her happy and distracted given the hard situation she is facing. 

My very best to you and your table.

As gaming is my central hobby, and thus one of my main pathways to joy and fulfilment, the idea of abandoning it due to grief is so counter-intuitive that I can barely process the idea.

Quote from: Grognard GM on December 19, 2022, 08:55:34 PM
As gaming is my central hobby, and thus one of my main pathways to joy and fulfilment, the idea of abandoning it due to grief is so counter-intuitive that I can barely process the idea.

Well, to me gaming is very connected to this person in my heart and in my mind because she has been my lost loyal player for over two decades.

In at least three different campaigns she was one of the main players. A few times she even talked friends of hers into trying out role playing games because I was the GM.

So , yeah all of my best gaming session memories she was usually featured or a part of them.

- Ed c.

Quote from: Koltar on December 19, 2022, 09:36:11 PM

Quote from: Grognard GM on December 19, 2022, 08:55:34 PM
As gaming is my central hobby, and thus one of my main pathways to joy and fulfilment, the idea of abandoning it due to grief is so counter-intuitive that I can barely process the idea.

Well, to me gaming is very connected to this person in my heart and in my mind because she has been my lost loyal player for over two decades.

In at least three different campaigns she was one of the main players. A few times she even talked friends of hers into trying out role playing games because I was the GM.

So , yeah all of my best gaming session memories she was usually featured or a part of them.

- Ed c.

My best friend of 30 years, during many of which we gamed together, died; so I fully understand the situation.

I continued to game, and gain enjoyment from gaming, with the occasional twinge of grief when reminded of him, or I thought of something I'd like to share with him.

But I also get times where something happens in a game, and I remember him with fond nostalgia, and it makes me smile or laugh.

So my post still stands. You asked a question, and my answer is, in my opinion, the answer is a resounding yes. Not just can, but should.

Everyone is different, and I fully support your choice to quit gaming if that's personally the best move for your emotional wellbeing. But again, to me it's counter-productive to moving on and living life.

Greetings!

I wish you the best, Koltar. Prayers are always helpful, in my experience. I believe that your friend would want you to "Game On!", as the expression goes. I want to encourage you during such a difficult time, and to strongly consider maintaining your gaming hobby.

Semper Fidelis,

SHARK

Hi,
Update time...its a sad one.

Its a Star Trek setting for this campaign so in an e-mail I offered the player, my friend these optionS;

ONE: Commander B___ dies heroically saving the ship in the middle of a dangerous situation.

TWO: In a burst of shimmering light and strange sounds Commander B___ "winks out" and disappears. The Science officers determine that she has 'blinked' back to an alternate universe or timeline...

....and ....

THREE: Commander B___ is promoted to Captain and given command of a ship of her own (or Starbase, space station) In this option she, and 'you' are still with the crew or 'us' - just somewhere else in the Star Trek universe with a command of your own.

Then later in the letter I told her: " I want a miracle cure to happen and you get healthier and live another 5 to 47 years. "

Many hours later the same day I got an e-mail from her husband saying "...It is sure she will not be able to partecipate in any future game or even observe one. "

Yep, its very heartbreaking moment stuff. One of the other players ion the group was able to visit her yesterday and texted me that our mutual longtime friend was deteriating quickly.

Hope I can game again....

-Ed C.

Also following this thread.

My brother died of Cancer last week and currently I am still in shock. I put my group on hiatus, but I don't know what the future will bring. I was lucky to have gamed with my brother one last time this summer. He enjoyed Call of Cthulhu, so I made it as special as I could for him (props, sounds, smells, minis, etc), knowing that it might be the last time. And it was. I feel that revisiting that game for a while will be too difficult for me. In his memory, I have a dedication to him in one of my upcoming game adventures. I'll do more, but it's still too raw emotion right now.

Ask yourself if this person would want you to stop gaming for their sake. The answer will obviously be no but ask yourself anyway.

Quote from: Koltar on December 29, 2022, 08:07:35 AM
Yep, its very heartbreaking moment stuff. One of the other players ion the group was able to visit her yesterday and texted me that our mutual longtime friend was deteriating quickly.

Hope I can game again....

I'm so sorry to hear that, Koltar.

I'd say take time to process however works for you. You might take a break from gaming for a while, or only doing different sorts of games, or some combination of the two. There is more to life than gaming, so give yourself space to do what works for you overall.