Greetings,
Right now my GURPS Star Trek campaign is going 'mostly' okay - even with murphy's Law interfering with our scheduling.
We try to do two game sessions a month - usually on Sundays.

This is that game group I started back in May for my friend who got diagnosed with cancer. We had not gamed in years and she really missed it.

Since mid summer we have had at least 8 game sessions - all the players say they ae having fun and enjoying the adventures.
My friend is in the Hospital since Tuesday and I worry she may take a turn for the worse.

Wondering - How do I game again after she is gone?

If I will ever game or GM again...

Hope I can ...or it will just tear me up too much.

Anyone have a situation similiar to this happen to them in the past with a game group?
A Favorite player?
Or  a Good Friend?

- Ed C.

I've had a several.

I gamed on because they would think it absurd for me to stop on their behalf.

If you want to stop because your heart is not in it - then do so for that reason. Definitely take a break.

I can't speak for you or your friend. I can only speak from the fact that my friends I gamed deeply with enjoyed our gaming and time together but knew it was something we all shared, it wasn't just because of one individual. If I passed, I sure as hell wouldn't want my friends now to stop. Nor would they.

But then when I die, my gaming group is required to join my family in barbecuing me and consuming me, per my wishes. So my power doesn't go to waste.

You know... have you asked her what she'd think of you stopping on her behalf?

If it were me, I'd create a town NPC in her honor.  Someone the PCs could check in and share stories with, from time to time.  She'd probably be slinging drinks at the PC's favorite tavern. Probably the proprietor of the place.

Visit your friend, and ask her to name a new female NPC for your game.

Sorry to hear that, Koltar. But there's still hope. I'd encourage living in today and keeping hope rather than dwelling on fears.

My sister was diagnosed with cancer about two years ago. We didn't do RPGs, but we'd play boardgames together. We couldn't see each other in person, but we started doing board games over video calls every week. She's now cancer free, and we're now closer than ever.

On the other hand, I have had members of my gaming groups pass away. I'd suggest another outlet other than gaming to deal with grief and loss, like therapy, church, or some other community that deals with more serious issues.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend.  I hope she recovers.

A close friend of 25 years passed from cancer over 10 years ago. (yeah, I'm old.)  We used to game together all the time.  The rest of us stopped playing the games that we had played with him and eventually started to try new games, lots of board games mainly.  A few years back we started playing D&D again with a few new people.  I know I think about him whenever we get together to play. 

The passage of time may make it easier to play.  You're going to need to talk it out with the others in your group if the worst happens.  Gaming is a social event, Even if one friend can no longer be there, other friends can. 

Do visit her in the hospital, as often as possible.  Friendly faces are always welcome.  And it can cheer up any family she has visiting too.

Dreadful thing to go through. To start with, I need to state that I have NOT gone through what you and tenbones
(EDIT: or Franky) have gone through so I cannot completely know what it is like.

Great advice has already been posted so far. Though, personally I would likely change the setting
because it would not be the same anymore and it would bring up too many memories. I guess I´m just
too sentimental like that. If you can though, the NPC idea by Jam is pure gold!

Would it be possible to game one last time in the hospital? Just a thought..

Anyhow, I personally would not stop gaming all together because of someone in the group passing
away for you can still game to honor their memory. Though, you are not me and like I mentioned,
I have no experience to understand your situation.

Quote from: Koltar on December 15, 2022, 10:56:23 PM
Greetings,
Right now my GURPS Star Trek campaign is going 'mostly' okay - even with murphy's Law interfering with our scheduling.
We try to do two game sessions a month - usually on Sundays.

This is that game group I started back in May for my friend who got diagnosed with cancer. We had not gamed in years and she really missed it.

Since mid summer we have had at least 8 game sessions - all the players say they ae having fun and enjoying the adventures.
My friend is in the Hospital since Tuesday and I worry she may take a turn for the worse.

Wondering - How do I game again after she is gone?

If I will ever game or GM again...

Hope I can ...or it will just tear me up too much.

Anyone have a situation similiar to this happen to them in the past with a game group?
A Favorite player?
Or  a Good Friend?

- Ed C.

First you mourn her loss to you as a friend and a gamer.

Then you man the fuck up and keep gaming because it would be an insult to her memory if you used her death to make you an emotional cripple who has abandoned the hobby which you both enjoyed.

Quote from: jeff37923 on December 16, 2022, 06:32:50 AM

Quote from: Koltar on December 15, 2022, 10:56:23 PM
Greetings,
Right now my GURPS Star Trek campaign is going 'mostly' okay - even with murphy's Law interfering with our scheduling.
We try to do two game sessions a month - usually on Sundays.

This is that game group I started back in May for my friend who got diagnosed with cancer. We had not gamed in years and she really missed it.

Since mid summer we have had at least 8 game sessions - all the players say they ae having fun and enjoying the adventures.
My friend is in the Hospital since Tuesday and I worry she may take a turn for the worse.

Wondering - How do I game again after she is gone?

If I will ever game or GM again...

Hope I can ...or it will just tear me up too much.

Anyone have a situation similiar to this happen to them in the past with a game group?
A Favorite player?
Or  a Good Friend?

- Ed C.

First you mourn her loss to you as a friend and a gamer.

Then you man the fuck up and keep gaming because it would be an insult to her memory if you used her death to make you an emotional cripple who has abandoned the hobby which you both enjoyed.

Agreed. Honor her memory. The game MUST go on.

"To absent friends; let the adventure continue."

That's tough, man. I feel for you.

Echoing the suggestion about an NPC. Honor her by making her last character an NPC. She will live on.

Like Valeria in the 82 Conan movie. It sucked when she died, but she returns as a Valkyrie: "Do you want to live forever?"

Having dealt with similar issues (though not nearly as severe for the most part), my one suggestion is to consider taking a planned break with a planned time to start back. 

The reason is, if you try to force "going on" when all your hearts aren't in to it, it's not going to go well, which will be unpleasant and likely end the game on a sour note. Ending that way might be the least of everyone's worries at that point, but no sense in piling on, either.  On the other hand, if you just put it on hold with no plan to start back, chances are, it is done.  At least, plan to get back together to do something different.

Same thing applies to more temporary things too.  Even positive things.  We've had a 3 month break sometimes when there was a new baby in the group.  The new parent didn't always start back when the rest of us did, but when they did come back, everyone was ready to go.

We still talk about the person we lost.  Some of his favorite gaming phrases live on in our group.

Nearly two decades ago now we lost a long time friend and gamer to cystic fibrosis. We still play games he loved in his memory.

There's always a little sadness, but the joyful memories have long since overtaken the loss.

Yes, the game can go on.

I'm currently playing in a long-running FantasyCraft game that was started by my friend Ian.

Ian died suddenly in his thirties. Just gone way too soon.

After the grief and shock had time to settle, one of our players reached out to Ian's dad, and was able to get Ian's campaign materials. (He also helped Ian's dad sell off all of Ian's collection of gaming materials, which was a load off Ian's father's shoulders.)

Since we had been playing a published Pathfinder campaign, we were able to resume the campaign with one of the players stepping up into the role of GM.

I'm really glad we kept it going, and I am indebted to Hank, my friend who took over running the campaign. It's been an anchor keeping us together during these crazy years.

I'm sorry.

In 2020, at the end of February, the game I'd been running for five years came to an abrupt end. One of my players died suddenly. His widow, another of my players, moved from GA to NM to be near her family. A third (of five) players was an exchange student who was called home early as COVID started. The final two, a father and his middle school daughter, were all that was left as lock downs hit.

I'm in that last player's intermittent 5e campaign, but have yet to restart running a game for a new group given COVID and my own health (bypass in late 2021). I'm only now working on recruiting a new group.

My advice is to restart gaming ASAP. Especially if the worst happens.

Maybe not the same campaign, but get the band back together, and keep going.

Our groups GM died suddenly of a heart attack several years ago...

I volunteered to take over GM duties, and several years later only now is the Star Wars campaign I started winding down.

The only dilemma I face is what game to run next. His wife is still with the group.

One of the most important ways to deal with grief is to continue to have fun with your friends and live well.

Life is too short to let grief drag you down.

Continue to do what you love, and lift yourself up.