Here it is: the thread where you brilliant prognosticators who, after so many years of embarrasing failure finally got it right this one time with 4e, can now put your balls on the table and make your on-record predictions for when 5th edition comes out. Extra points to any of you who try to claim that its "already in development" and includes lots of references to how Wizards are just "evil corporate whores" who will be planning some kind of release schedule intentionally designed to hurt the consumer as much as possible!

Likewise, you can also use this thread to speculate on what major (no doubt unwanted) changes will be made from our beloved 4e to the new 5e either in structure of the game (ie. "they plan to sell all the rules in the form of two-line playing cards and you'll have to buy the entire 4000-card set if you want to be able to play the game"!), or in rules contents ("in the new system, you'll have to buy a new miniature every time you want to make an attack of opportunity, and you're required to make attacks of opportunity if you want to keep playing!"). Or just wild general banter ("They're getting rid of the Kender!" "quivering blobs will now be a core race!" "chainmail bikinis will now be actual armor with stats!"). Hell, the crazier the better.  Who cares that we don't actually know any of these things about 4e yet, either in the sense of its rules or how it's coming out; after all, your "predictions" have never required much knowledge of the current edition or current corporate plans, has it?


RPGPundit

Quote from: RPGPunditHere it is: the thread where you brilliant prognosticators who, after so many years of embarrasing failure finally got it right this one time with 4e, can now put your balls on the table and make your on-record predictions for when 5th edition comes out. Extra points to any of you who try to claim that its "already in development" and includes lots of references to how Wizards are just "evil corporate whores" who will be planning some kind of release schedule intentionally designed to hurt the consumer as much as possible!

Likewise, you can also use this thread to speculate on what major (no doubt unwanted) changes will be made from our beloved 4e to the new 5e either in structure of the game (ie. "they plan to sell all the rules in the form of two-line playing cards and you'll have to buy the entire 4000-card set if you want to be able to play the game"!), or in rules contents ("in the new system, you'll have to buy a new miniature every time you want to make an attack of opportunity, and you're required to make attacks of opportunity if you want to keep playing!"). Or just wild general banter ("They're getting rid of the Kender!" "quivering blobs will now be a core race!" "chainmail bikinis will now be actual armor with stats!"). Hell, the crazier the better.  Who cares that we don't actually know any of these things about 4e yet, either in the sense of its rules or how it's coming out; after all, your "predictions" have never required much knowledge of the current edition or current corporate plans, has it?


RPGPundit

This post is obviously enemy action.

This one has hit you pretty hard, hasn't it Pundit?

On the barest outside chance that you'll listen, my advice is that you just let the subject die. You may have had a case at first, but now it's just looking petty and desperate.

Seriously mate, let it go.

Ahh, at last a readable rant again!

You're addressing the whole board here pundit? 'Your predictions'. Sounds like it.

Put the sour grapes away mate, it'll spoil the taste of you tobacco...or put them in your pipe and smoke it.

As for 5th edition. We'll have to insert chips into our heads in order to play and will only be able to do so at registered WotC roleplaying booths, found on every city street. RPG terrorists the CEL collective (Crane, Edwards, Lehmen) will attempt to hack into the system using bio-engineered bat penises in order to subvert players into bucking the system and freeing themselves from the harmfull brain-damage inflicted by the chips! Cyber geeks will clash in battles that will rock the virtual space, virtual bodies will lie everywhere and pretend swords will be held aloft in victory or broken in defeat. Meanwhile, base cavemen still meet face to face in forbidden roleplay-easies found in the backstreets to break the laws of Mearls 84. "Thou shall not roll the dice thyself." RPG ninjas travel the streets looking for these throwbacks so that they can break in the door and cut them down with their own primitive "books". The cry goes out among the cavemen, "Real books for real men!" They are shot by geek-seeking missiles fired from the 'Orcus-mobile'. CEL think they can use the cavemen to break free of the all-seeing Mearls laws, but even the cavemen have standards. At a secret meeting CEL are given nuclear wedgies and left screaming like girls atop the floating feeding platforms.

A Klaxon sounds and a silky voice announces, "Attention all players in the Wizards federation, attention all players in the Wizards federation. We have resumed control. We have resumed control."

What...it could happen!

Quote from: One Horse TownAs for 5th edition. We'll have to insert chips into our heads in order to play and will only be able to do so at registered WotC roleplaying booths, found on every city street. RPG terrorists the CEL collective (Crane, Edwards, Lehmen) will attempt to hack into the system using bio-engineered bat penises in order to subvert players into bucking the system and freeing themselves from the harmfull brain-damage inflicted by the chips! Cyber geeks will clash in battles that will rock the virtual space, virtual bodies will lie everywhere and pretend swords will be held aloft in victory or broken in defeat. Meanwhile, base cavemen still meet face to face in forbidden roleplay-easies found in the backstreets to break the laws of Mearls 84. "Thou shall not roll the dice thyself." RPG ninjas travel the streets looking for these throwbacks so that they can break in the door and cut them down with their own primitive "books". The cry goes out among the cavemen, "Real books for real men!" They are shot by geek-seeking missiles fired from the 'Orcus-mobile'. CEL think they can use the cavemen to break free of the all-seeing Mearls laws, but even the cavemen have standards. At a secret meeting CEL are given nuclear wedgies and left screaming like girls atop the floating feeding platforms.

A Klaxon sounds and a silky voice announces, "Attention all players in the Wizards federation, attention all players in the Wizards federation. We have resumed control. We have resumed control.

Brilliant. It's 19D4, in which Winston Grognard falls afoul of the the Party (which is composed of minmaxed Prestige classes, natch) for not being vocal enough in denouncing Gygaxstein during the d3 Minute Hate.

This is first class entertainment!

Quote from: DrewThis one has hit you pretty hard, hasn't it Pundit?

On the barest outside chance that you'll listen, my advice is that you just let the subject die. You may have had a case at first, but now it's just looking petty and desperate.

Seriously mate, let it go.

Yup.

There will be no 5th edition.

You all underestimate the neccessity to call all the idiots and wisecracks on their bullshit. That´s an act of intellectual hygene. Sure Pundit get´s dirty and stinky while clearing out these stables.
And he even gets angry at some persistant blotch of feces needing kneeling and a swiss army knife to scratch off.

Give him a break, at least he´s angry again. Imagine a calm Pundit posting more Legion profiles!

perhaps you should revert to your previous avatar.

Settembrini has a point. Thank god for 4E. In the past couple of weeks I felt Pundy was somehow, well, emotionally unavailable. What's up with that?

A love interest?

To whit, my profile for Bouncing Boy has been delayed by all these recent events.

As for "emotionally unavailable", I don't know about that, but in the last week my computer has continued fucking up on a regular basis; so that might be it (I'm going to say screw it and just get another new one).

Or maybe its the fact that I've turned Sunboy onto Dr.Who, and he and I have been watching all the eps we could get our hands on, old and new. Dr.Who makes me very happy, you see. So maybe you confused my contentment with "emotional unavailability", because things were actually calm and steady for a while there.

Ah well. Things change. Back to the war.

RPGPundit

Contentment is good for the contented person and a fucking snore for everybody else!

5E will be a radical reboot, involving the porting of FtA! to a highly metaphorical dreamscape "Dungeon" where the traditional action of fighting Monsters in a Dungeon will be but the external veneer; the True Story will be that these Monsters are the Player's Own Inner Demons, and the Dungeons they Unlock will be their Own Hearts. There will be an online component, as updating your MySpace will be a key component of levelling.

It will rock.