Well, the love triangle between Sam, his girl, and Bumblebee was...off-putting. That aside, the movie was pretty good. It was just like the cartoon come to life (with violence, references to mating, and crippled, drug-addled Taco Bell dogs thrown in for the adult crowd).
 
As you know, the Transformers movie is based on a cartoon of the same name from the 80's. It details the lives and loves of the Autobots. Optimus Prime, the leader of the group, writes a newspaper column that chronicles the state of sexual affairs of Manhattanites in this "age of un-innocence." His posse, including nice girl Charlotte, hard-edged Miranda, and party girl Samantha, gives him plenty of column fodder.
 
Wait. That's Sex and the City.
 
The Transformers is about gigantic robots who can become cars, tanks, airplanes and annoying little boom boxes that are hard to kill and spend far too much time on screen. The sugary Autobots are opposed by the more practical-minded Decepticons, who are hell-bent on getting their hands on a renewable energy source (which, if you ask me, makes them the most eco-friendly cartoon gang since Captain Planet, another series with, shall we say, an exaggerated premise and cast of warm-hearted stereotypes who would be right at home on the set of Queer Eye).
 
The Transformers movie is not an action flick so much as a space opera comedy. Tiny dogs tinkling on big machines, if the box office returns are to be believed, is comedy gold. And Jazz, this movie's attempt to capture some of the rich spirit of Star Wars with a Jar-Jar-esque character, is a riot.
 
But in all seriousness, the whole Sam-Mikaela romance inside and on top of Bumblebee was creepy. I know cars are a typical tryst spot, but he's sentient. Apparently genderless, but sentient. And, when he's excited, he buzzes. Transformers is a kid's movie, not a letter to Penthouse. "I never thought I'd write, but my yellow car can transform itself into all sorts of appliances..."
 
My favorite moment from the movie came during a dizzying robot-on-robot action sequence (despite being advanced intergalactic beings with staggering technology and the ability to change shape, they like to slug each other with big metal fists) when a bewildered six year old turned to his father and asked, "Daddy, what's happening?" And the father, who was clearly old enough to be a fan of the cartoon, turned and replied, "Son, Hollywood likes to cover plot holes with explosions."
 
But it's not the anachronistic, sword-wielding robots who steal the show. It's young, up-and-coming actor Shia LaBeouf. I thought my name was bad. (No, really, it basically means "big penis.") But try explaining Shia LaBeouf to a room full of people you've just met. I think "Shia" means typecast, because the poor kid clearly is. This year he's the star of The Transformers, but he's already working on a film for next year - Short Circuit 3: Ally Sheedy Tries to Revive Her Career With Another Hack Remake. It's in post production now.
 
If you're wondering about the movie's pacing, well, so is the director, Michael Bay. He's like a housewife from a 50's family comedy in a skit about moving furniture. "Put the sofa over there...No, wait, over there. Wait, over there. No, try there, next to the liquor cabinet." But after a few hours of awkward fits and starts, it finally settles into a routine - just in time for the credits to roll.
 
When all is said and done, however, The Transformers is a simple movie: Big shiny robots from the planet Handwavium come to Earth for vague reasons and casually destroy any car left parked along city streets. It has a correspondingly simple theme: Bad girls are still fun and you can hook up with one if you have a musical assist from an intergalactic pal.
 
Should you see The Transformers in theatres? Undeniably, yes.  Jerky, too-quick-to-follow battle scenes just aren't the same on a 27" inch screen in your mother's basement.
 
Should you buy the toys? Response: Did you see the 40 Year Old Virgin?

Seanchai

I loved it. I really liked the military battles (uh.. as opposed to the regular battles?) the two in the desert and the big one at the end. I was really excited to see the John Turturro cameo.

If you asked me what this movie was about I would say "giant robots smashing and shooting each other".

Shia LeBoeuf is great. He's kinda like this years Frankie Muniz. What happened to Frankie Muniz? I have no idea.

It's a fair review.

I liked it more than I should have, I know.  But, it was the nostalgia, it was a sweet endorphin rush to hear Peter Cullen's voice behind an honest-to-god "Live Action" Optimus Prime.  The comedy was hokey, the characters were more like charicatures, but dammit, it's based on a cartoon.

The scene at the base in Qatar had me and my friend grinning from ear to ear, literally bouncing in our seats with anticipation for the rest of the movie.  When Sam/Spike was on the roof with Megatron, and the big bad asks "Is is courage or fear that drives you, fleshling?"  The two of us and a few of the people around us were all pretty much turn to each other and go, "Ha!  Fleshling!"

Yup, the movie has more than a couple of issues.  All of which I am more than happy to overlook because it was much, much better th an I ever hoped it might be.  I was expecting something on the level of a Uwe Boll "film".

Quote from: RooksGambitIt's a fair review.

Oh, I liked the movie. I had fun. There were some problems - mostly the worst pacing I've seen in a long time - but really I just wanted to write a tongue-in-cheek review of the movie.

Seanchai

Quote from: Abyssal MawI loved it. I really liked the military battles (uh.. as opposed to the regular battles?) the two in the desert and the big one at the end.

I liked the desert "scorpion" one the best.

Quote from: Abyssal MawShia LeBoeuf is great.

Yeah, in this and Disturbia. He has chops.

Seanchai

Tons of plot holes? Hell yes.

Funny as hell? Hell yes.

Tons of explosions? Hell yes.

Basically, this movie was a slightly higher-tech Jackie Chan movie. Loved it. Laughed at it. Won't be 'spectin' an Oscar.

I was thoroughly entertained. I wanted giant robots beating on each other and I got that. Though I have to say that the action between the Transformers was often so fast it was hard to follow. Regardless it was worth the matinee ticket.

GIANT ROBOTS!

BIG EXPLOSIONS!

GIANT ROBOTS!

HOT GIRL!

GIANT ROBOTS!

COOL VEHICLES!

GIANT ROBOTS!

This movie rocked.

Quote from: JongWKGIANT ROBOTS!

BIG EXPLOSIONS!

GIANT ROBOTS!

HOT GIRL!

GIANT ROBOTS!

COOL VEHICLES!

GIANT ROBOTS!

This movie rocked.

Those are my thoughts as well.

What's not to like?

I told my wife as we entered the theater, "It feels like the eighties again!"

I literally returned to being an 8 year old all over again.

It felt exactly like the show did when I was a wee one.

AWESOME!

How did your wife feel about having an eight year old husband?

Quote from: Kyle AaronHow did your wife feel about having an eight year old husband?

She thought it was cute.

Quote from: joewolzI told my wife as we entered the theater, "It feels like the eighties again!"

I literally returned to being an 8 year old all over again.

It felt exactly like the show did when I was a wee one.

AWESOME!

Well, my wife refused to go to it. Nobody else I knew wanted to go either. I don't know enough geeks any more. I resorted to taking my friends 8 year old son to it, since his parents didn't want to to go.

It was fun and I couldn't have expected a better version of the Transformers.

My wife didn't want to go either, she thought it looked stupid.

She changed her mind when she saw it!

maybe i'll catch it on rental.  i'm an oddity, as a kid of the 80s who never got into the transformers craze.  

glad it lived up to fans' expectations, tho