Dragon Magazine Issue 227: March 1996


part 8/8


TSR Previews: The forgotten realms takes twinkitude to 40th level, 10 more levels than generic characters can manage, in Faiths and Avatars. As if gods weren't scary enough. It also gets Realms of the Underdark, another collection of short stories giving drow fanboys some more material to consume, and Tangled Webs by Elaine Cunningham, the second book starring the exiled drow princess Liriel. Busy busy busy.

Planescape gets Uncaged: Faces of Sigil. You've already had the general guide. Now you can get more full stats and relationships between characters. Oh go on then. More generally useful but not essential stuff.

Ravenloft sees Van Richten's ghosts come home to roost in Bleak House. And then he may well become a ghost himself. In any case, this is another big metaplot event, with a fairly substantial amount of railroading crap involved. Be ready to acquire derangements, possibly lose stats permanently, and deal with long spells of tension building bits trapped in fixed locations. Not suited for hack and slashers at all.

Mystara finishes off it's current book series with Dragonmage of Mystara. The good guys and the bad guys have to join forces to deal with the even worse guys. Sounds fairly familiar.

And our generic book is Den of Thieves. Do we not already have a complete handbook for this class. What do you have to add to the pot, huh?


The current Clack: This year continues to be the one that really changes the roleplaying landscape, mostly for the worse. GDW shuts down, giving the rights to most of it's games back to their original creators. It's better than bankruptcy, but not by much, and still means Traveller isn't going to get any new books for ages. Meanwhile we get some more elaboration on why White Wolf engaged in substantial layoffs, despite the fact that their sales are still increasing. Just like TSR in 1983, they'd been expanding beyond their means, and living large like they were going to keep increasing exponentially in profits forever. Goes to show, at least a few people got to live like rock and roll stars for a while from roleplaying. But now they have to learn to be a sensible company if they want to survive long-term. Bah. Adulthood sucks. So it's not all bad news, but it is still a bit dispiriting. You can only be carefree and happy-go-lucky if someone else is taking care of things for you.


It's definitely becoming less of a struggle to review this year than it was the last one, but once again, there is a good deal here to be bored and/or unsettled by. The gaming landscape in general is shifting in uncertain fashions, and they're not sure whether to experiment more, or retreat into safe territory, and as a result are trying to do both at once in a manner that's tentative and lacking in confidence. Which doesn't quite work. Better to go out with a bang than a whimper, and at the moment it feels more like a fizzle. It all makes me want to move on to better times all the faster.

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 1/8


124 pages. Ahh, once again it's april. Spring is starting to be sprung, flowers are starting to bloom, and you can just bet you'll be squirted with water if you sniff the wrong one. And although they aren't leading with them, it does look like they're not skimping on the goofy choices this year. Gotta keep a brave face on, even if the only jokes you really want to make are gallows humour. On we go.


In this issue:


The wyrms turn: It used to be conventions were mostly concentrated in summer, (weather being better for travel, plus you can bring your kids, since they aren't in school. ) As the world gets smaller, and the geek population ages, these become less of an issue, and we can enjoy stuff like Winter Fantasy. However, what seems initially like a slice of life recounting like Roger used to do actually turns out to be primarily another tool for promoting their Official RPGA Tournament Games™.  Bait and switch! I find this vaguely insulting, but also very telling. They're not just restricting their new RPGA recruitment drive to it's column, they're going to put it in the editorial, and quite possibly the letters page as well. The last traces of resistance to the idea of the magazine being purely a TSR house organ are being eradicated as we speak. This definitely makes me grumpy. The contrast between the old staff, who'd been part of the company for years and had a less formal relationship with their colleagues is not as obvious a change as many, but it is part of the tonal shifts they've made. And it does make it seem like the relationship is more master/servant and less bunch of guys trying to make a living out of a fun hobby.


D-Mail: A letter from someone wondering what the hell a flumph is. You don't know what you're missing out on. No, really. They're brilliant. One of the old skool classics like rust monsters and green slime, only friendly. Don't diss the flumphs.

A rather long letter complaining about Skip's ruling on the Frisky Chest. Skip is unrepentant. People trying to apply magic scientifically should not be surprised at all when things don't work the way intended. Magic is based upon exceptionalism, not formula, and that is what makes it different from physics.

Yet another person singing the out of print blues and asking for the magazine to repeat stuff. No. You can pay the price and mail order them the hard way.

Someone wondering what has happened to the rest of Krynn during the 5th age. Buy all the stuff we have planned now, or you'll never find out! One continent is enough work for now. Which is their worldbuilding in general. They call it that, but they never get anywhere near complete at worldbuilding, even if they make the world substantially smaller than earth. There ought to be a better way.

Another letter from someone who wants to submit their stuff to to TSR. That's 4 issues in a row. This really is getting out of hand. Is this what they have to put up with all the time? I can see why that would wear on the sanity.

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 2/8


Real jungles: Hello again, Mr Detwiler. I see you've done your research and want to show up a few people's misconceptions again. Is that worth putting in pole position? Actually, yes, as it's a very interesting topic, as it's a great place for adventures, while also being counterintuitive enough to someone raised on media portrayals that you can get it completely wrong easily. Some of these can be worked out via examining more conventional forests and applying logic, such as the fact that while the vegetation is really thick and verdant on the edges, once you get past that into areas where sunlight is blocked out, it's surprisingly empty and quiet. What's less intuitive are the somewhat disturbing ways life can parasitise off itself, growing intimately interconnected as things compete to get more sunlight, and thus more energy to grow Grow GROW! It definitely doesn't make for neat right angled walls and flat floors that are easy to draw maps for. Tricks like how to blend in with the animals, the way the diurnal cycle becomes even more critical without significant seasonal variations, and the dangers that are mainly a problem for nonnatives, with their excess clothing and flashy, easily detected and rusted metal equipment. This is presented with a pleasantly conversational tone with some neat bits of humour slipped in. The main thing that raises my eyebrows is a reference to their Living Jungle campaign, yet another bit of subtle RPGA promotion. Still, I suppose that's a further positive in their book, so this does indeed deserve to be first, as it's both entertaining any useful in any system.


Final Quest: For two years, we've had people talking about their first game. Wouldn't one about people's last games make just as much sense. Well, we're in luck! April fool. Roger Moore finds the time to tell us about the amusing ways characters have died in games he's known, and also some ways in which they haven't, but it would be really embarrassing if they did (so don't go getting ideas ) He also takes the piss out of the silly red triangle graphic, but that's merely an aside in a massive barrage of schadenfreude that is oh so aware of the game's tropes and how to subvert them. After all, long years of reading letters from the magazine mean he knows more than nearly anyone how people are actually playing their games, and the stupid things they think are cool. This is indeed pretty hilarious. Let anyone trying to play a half-elf who's grandfathers are Drizzt and Elminster and dual wields staff/swords be warned. The DM can always find new ways of killing you, and if they can't the other players can.


101 uses for a (wet) blanket: Remember the Miller Milk Bottle? (issue 51) I said at the time that it was a pretty blatant rip-off of Douglas Adams' hitchhiker jokes. Well, here's an even more blatant one. Why? Who knows. April fool. This does exactly what it says on the tin, giving you another example of just how versatile a seemingly innocuous household item can be, while also making quite a few bad jokes. And just like the original, about the best response I have is Oooookay. O_o o_O They say that when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, so what does everything look like when all you have is a blanket? Or a bottle. Or a spoon? Answers can be sent in written or sewn on a blanket please.


The Athalantan Campaign: Ooh. Milieu opening time again. The Forgotten Realms is already the most detailed and furthest ranging campaign setting in terms of geography and variety of environments by quite some way. But of course, as in reality, every expansion reveals a new frontier. New continents have dropped off in recent years, but they can't keep just repeating the same places again with different perspectives, so what are they do do? Historical settings! The realms already has quite a few prequels, and Elminster's origin story has driven up demand for details of the past quite a bit. And Ed Greenwood is all too enthusiastic to help, with 9 pages on the long destroyed country of his youth and it's notable people and events. As befits a country ruled by mage-kings, most of the significant NPC's are spellcasters, which means the tendency for them to seem the most important part of the setting (maybe because they're the ones telling the story to the writers of this world ) is even more exaggerated than normal. It does seem a pretty interesting place to adventure, and of course, you'll have a freer rein to avoid running into canon than you would in the present day Realms. And even better, it isn't an obvious real world analog of something. While not as fizzy as many of his articles, this is a pretty ambitious one that once again shows us new things to do with the Realms. Once again he's produced something that I really enjoyed consuming on it's own, that also fits into a larger picture and makes the world ever more complete.

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 3/8


The dragon's worstiary: Chocolate golems are very much a paper tiger. They may look big and imposing, but they're just so YUMMY! that you're unlikely to find them a challenge. Om nom nom nom. April fool.

Chia Golems give you another means of surprising stupid adventurers. Terrifying animated topiary! Make sure you take good care of them, or they'll grow into just a big blob of greenery, and that won't be good for their mobility.

Plush golems are genuinely creepy, although they'd be even more so if they could grow and shrink as needed to the situation, thus allowing then to be more innocuous when not needed. They react to the subconscious desires of their owners, which we all know is just a recipe for trouble. So these may be a joke, but they can certainly be used in games that are mostly serious. Which I suppose is a fairly optimal combination. People will certainly remember this one over the articles surrounding it.


All in the family: Ah yes, involving your family in adventures. Another of those things that's really cool if it works, but has the potential to go horribly horribly wrong, especially if they players aren't invested enough in the reality of the world (or if they have crafted an elaborate backstory featuring them, and the DM just ignores that for a cheap plot device or refrigerator moment. ) So incorporating family only really works in a long-term game where they have chance to make an impact over extended time periods both IC and OOC. Otherwise, they might as well just be wandering loners anyway. That said, if it works, it can be brilliant, so don't get discouraged because many have done it badly, just as you shouldn't give up on trying to build healthy relationships and a family because you've failed repeatedly in real life.


Network news: Big crossover event time! Raven's bluff is under siege and needs lots of adventurers to help defend it. Become a hero and maybe even influence what happens next! Ah yes, how very very 90's. In a way, I miss this kind of ambition. And then I remember why it went out of fashion. Metaplot is hard enough when it's top down. When it's dictated by the results of tournaments, as was also done in L5R, it can just seem nonsensical all too easily. Which makes this another cool sounding advert that has some rather interesting and strange implications if looked at a little closer. It is nice that they're trying to involve us in an ongoing storyline, but that puts a heavy burden on us and them to get it right. Will they manage it without the Drama Llama getting involved OOC? Were you part of this big event? If so, what did your character do in it?


AD&D Triviathlon: In another instance of promotion which makes me go Huh? they promote last month's triviathlon again. Call the clue hotline at 90 cents a minute if you're having trouble with the answers! Oh dear. That does make this seem rather like a blatant cash grab. Sure there are prizes to be won, but any well-planned competition of this kind will ensure the income is well above the expected costs, and this is just one way to do that. So this ups the tackiness rating of this little business quite a bit. I do not approve.

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 4/8


Rogues gallery: Gangsters of the underdark? It looks like it's time for an article that's theoretically usable, but would be out of place in all but the most goofy of campaigns. April fool. Have fun spotting the bad puns and references, since prohibition era gangster culture is not one of my geek specialities. Dear oh dear. :sigh: Whatever will they come up with next?

Gnormahlenvaey "Squeaky" Catonerihn is an incredibly annoying voiced gnome who is rather insecure about his height, and makes preemptive jokes about his mother. The kind of NPC that makes players really happy to kill them, in other words. Who's da april fool now huh?

Vikhrumn "100 Gold" Coil is a beholder that always levitates a sharp suit and gangster hat around him, and "rubs out" people for the above quoted price. The assassin's guild might like to have words about that, but they're still recoving from the 2e cartel breaking, and how do you backstab something with 11 eyes anyway? Maybe poisoning his drink would work.

Brikhalana "Dutch" Ipprszhen is the very model of a refined mind flayer gentleman, with handlebar tentacles and a gambling habit that's made so much easier when you can read and control minds on a whim. I wouldn't want to frequent a bar run by someone like that.

Felyndiira "Mad money" Shi'narrvha is a misanthropic race traitor drow who uses polymorphed wolverines as her personal bodyguards. Oookay. That's very specific indeed. What the hell are the references on this one?

Grey'shivnarien "the fiddler" Taliain is an insane drow in clown makeup who's fiddle can shoot poison darts. Again, I'm not entirely sure what the joke is, but I am scared. Clowns are scary enough when they're sane and not playing music at you.

Sir Elliot of Kness is (Of Course! ) the trenchcoated and fedora'd guy who has to hunt down all these undesirables. The means he uses to accomplish this may jeopardise his paladin status, but hey, someone's got to clean up the underdark. Do you have a better plan?


Role-playing reviews: Throwing Stones is a somewhat odd attempt to incorporate CCG design into roleplaying. You character is defined by a selection of dice, and of course you will need to buy at least one set per player, and quite possibly do some trading to get the character you want. It's CCG elements mean it's fun in PvP, but player vs GM challenges are a bit dull, and the worldbook is just incredibly generic. You'll have to play to it's strengths if you want to make this work.

Chronomancer leaves Rick pretty much baffled by the rules details. It looks cool, and the writing is authoritative and convincing, but damned if he could run it as written. One for high crunch game lovers only.

Guardians is another CCG review. It's well illustrated, amusingly goofy and fun to play, but probably too crunchy for it's own good. Not a complaint we're unfamiliar with. The game designers need constant reminding to KISS if they ever want to be kissed in real life.

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 5/8


Dungeon Mastery: A random adventure generator? Yay. That's an invaluable addition to my ...... wait, what's this? Some guy they met in a bar? Deliver a singing telegram? A plague of rabid ferrets. This is another april fool article isn't it. Bugger. Just when I was getting excited, you drop that on me. Still, I suppose you could theoretically use the scenarios generated by this, but the odds at least part of them will be stupid is well above 50%. Do you like those odds? I don't think I do.


Forum: Rick Maffei takes up more than half of the forum this month, complaining about how players option subabilities mess up the game, making it far too easy to min-max. This is particularly the case with percentile scores. Yeah, I wasn't a fan of these either.  

Roy MacEachern reminds us to have fun, and throw out as many optional rules as you need to make that happen. Another bit of evidence that adventuring is more fun as the underdogs, and you only need a few ideas at a time to really kick ass.

Adam Cole is another person annoyed at the politically correct, modern minded anachronisticness of far too much fantasy these days. The socioeconomic pressures are all different, so it's just not believable. Yeah, worldbuilding is hard work. You've got to really work at creating people and places who's experiences are substantially different from your own.

Michael Garcia thinks that it's not that girls wouldn't be interested in roleplaying, it's just that we're so crap at selling it to them. After all, women buy rather more books in general, and certainly have no less interest in playing let's pretend. Is it the smelly geeks, the emphasis on killing things and taking their stuff, or the heavy math that puts them off?

Tim Gray brings up the old topic of cheating on your dice rolls. Naughty naughty. I think it's spanking time. Other stuff is a matter of taste, but this definitely needs stamping down upon.


What's so funny: Ahh yes, corpsing. A persistent danger in Serious Acting is everybody bursting into giggles when something goes wrong. This can become contagious and turn into a running joke all too easily, making it a nightmare to get a scene completed. Gaming is not immune to this at all. I can personally think of several incidents (they ate the buggered pig!) that just completely shattered the mood of technically serious games, that resulted in everyone going off on a digression that lasted quite some time, before getting back to the plot. So this is sort of an april fools article, but instead of trying to foist jokes upon us, it invites us to think about our own experiences, and thus invokes nostalgia rather than groans. I don't mind this at all.

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 6/8


Greater Familiars of faerun: Another article on getting better familiars? When I started doing this, I certainly didn't expect that to become one of the more commonly reappearing topics over the years. Issues 84, 146, 147, 181, 200, 221; there's already plenty to draw upon. This is an article of two halves. Find Companion is a 3rd level spell that lets you summon a larger fairly mundane creature such as a horse, bear or cheetah to accompany you on your adventures. Find Minion is a 6th level spell that lets you get hold of a mid-level supernatural beastie like a displacer beast, umber hulk or unicorn. What's particularly interesting about this implementation is that you can have one of each, giving you three bonded animals at high levels. The main issue I can see with that is if you allowed this article to be combined with the familiar upgrading article from issue 181, as having all three maxed out with those spells would be a pretty effective synergy. (But if you're that assiduous a collector, you ought to be reaping the benefits of combining obscure powersets. I'd allow it in my game. ) In the end, my main issue with this one is wondering why it's branded a Forgotten Realms article, since specific wizards are not mentioned, and none of the monsters are setting specific either. It just seems forced, especially compared to the Arcane Lore ones that do actually fill in who invented the spells and when. Maybe there was more fluff detail that was cut out in editing.


Sage advice: Can you pick what age category of dragon you shapechange into (sorta. It's complicated)

Is the size of a breath weapon reduced if a creature is (no. Smuggle a dragon in in your pocket, and watch it wipe out an entire hall. )

Can humans enter an anti animal shell (yes. Normally they don't count as animals, but in this case they do. Curious.)

Can animal growth be used on humans (no)

Can ESP pinpoint the location of the creatures you're mindreading. (no)

Does a scroll of protection from magic negate your own items as well (yes. So much for all those buffs.)

Can anything remove an antimagic shell (just wish upon a star. )

Where do meteors detonate if there are things in the way (The point designated. anything in the way just gets blasted through painfully.)

How do the ranges on the monster summoning spells work (That's how far away from you they can appear)

Does a rod of alertness let you know where the hostile creatures are (no. )

Just how good is a prismatic sphere at stopping stuff. (It can stop a planet. You're no trouble, no matter how buff and buffed you are. )

How does spell immunity interact with other protections cast afterwards. (it stops. It doesn't play well with other protections, no matter what order they're applied in. )

How do you decide what questions to publish (Skip uses special arcane methods. Skip will not reveal them, because then you would rules lawyer them. Skip does the rules lawyering round here, and will cap anyone trying to muscle in on skip's teritory)

What happens if you possess yourself with magic jar (The spell ends. Read the book again. )

Are there any modules with weredragons (no)

How long are elven characters pregnant for. (seven and a half years. That's a looooong time to be fat and cranky. Maybe that explains why so many elven women go for human men a tenth their age.  Half elves grow a lot quicker.)

Can you kill a bag of devouring (sure, if you can find it. Can you go extradimensional?)

What happens if a female dragon mates with a male human (nothing. Half-dragons are always male dragon/female human. You are free to be angsty about this if it would be appropriate to your character. Or you could find a couple of girdles of gender changing, and be proactive about it. )

There are gaps in your rules ( Anyone can break the rules. The tricky part is getting them to work at all. And that's the goal you should be aiming for, not travesties like this. You oughta be ashamed!)

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 7/8


Yamara's world finally gets a map! Any resemblance to events and people that actually appeared in the comics is purely coincidental


Venturing into the city: Adventures in the city? We've had entire themed issues on this before. (issues 136, 160) And as is usually the case when they try and cram a topic like this into a single article despite having done whole issues on it before, the article comes off as a lot more basic. In this case, it does seem to be aimed specifically at people who have never run a city adventure before, and are daunted by the prospect. So this is clear, step by step, and rather basic advice. It's one of those cases where it's not that I have a problem with the material, but that it's not aimed at long-term readers at all, and so makes me zone out as I read it, experiencing a strong sense of deja vu. The hobby was attracting new players in greater quantity when the magazine wasn't nearly so focussed on catering to them, which is a great and rather depressing irony. What are we to do with you?


Dragonmirth deals with bureaucracy and comes off the loser again. A familiar scene of tragedy in Swordplay. The Knights of the dinner table engage in some hard negotiation over their social contract. Floyd is in so much trouble right now. This is what happens when you don't do your research before going into the dungeon.


Nightspawn becomes Nightbane. Curse you, Todd McFarlane! :shakes fist:


Tales from the 5th age: Mission from kendermore part 2 by Harold J Johnson. Once again, this is more a collection of vignettes than a proper story, as the Kender team encounters various challenges and falls prey to attrition, one by one. Although none of them actually die onscreen, and whether they do or not is very uncertain. Which really does make this feel like a bait and switch for those looking for a bit of sadism. I know you have the whole family friendly thing to consider, but this is almost as bad as an 80's cartoon in it's avoidance of directly showing consequences. So once again, I'm going to have to pronounce this series as interesting, but deeply unsatisfying compared to the usual fiction they give us. This just violates too many rules of how to write a good story which engages the reader and makes them care about what happens. You''re a third of the way through this themed year already, you'd better start giving us some payoff for sitting through this soon.

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 8/8


TSR Previews: The Forgotten realms realizes they have yet to cover the area north of waterdeep in great detail, and sends slade to sort it out. Where he goes, PCs will follow. They also continue to do a bit more delving into the past, albeit not nearly as much as Dragonlance. Sword Play by Victor Milan is set in Netheril before it's destruction. What will the stupid archmages get up too to seal their doom.

Speaking of dragonlance, they get another anthology, The dragons at war. They seem to be making more of those lately. Hmm. I wonder why.

Ravenloft rehashes it's first two monstrous compendia, turning them into a single proper book. Well, that loose leaf stuff has long since gone out of fashion. And access to out of print stuff is a perpetual worry of a company. Why shouldn't they make a little more money from it if the demand is there?

Birthright gets War by Simon Hawke. The usual novel stuff, as they try and build a set of iconic characters for you to imitate. Go go formulae.

Our generic AD&D product this month is Treasure Tales. Another attempt to give you a load of adventure ideas to make sure your campaign runs smoothly. Ignored plotlines are the grist that makes the world whole, or some such pretentiousness.

And our generic book this month is F. R. E. E. Fall by Mel Odom. Another world threatening peril? Yeah, it's tuesday alright.


The current Clack: Another one bites the dust. Iron Crown Enterprises splits ties with HERO games. Now, initially, it looks like HERO are getting the rough end of the deal here. But give it a few years and you'll find it's ICE that's crashing and burning while HERO chugs along in a fairly low key but stable fashion for the following decade. Part of it's due to not being weighed down by expensive licences and part of it is due to embracing new technology. But really, it's luck as much as anything, isn't it.

Along with the currently near obligatory WotC news, showing them continuing their rise to world dominance, we also have the rather more interesting topic of people being examined by MRI while roleplaying, to find out exactly what parts of the brain it stimulates. Ahh, students. Is there any excuse they won't use to incorporate their leisure interests into their studies? Not that you couldn't use this bit of SCIENCE! to design better games. But I doubt it would be a simple process, given the amount of monitored playtesting you'd have to do to get useful data. I wonder if anything much actually came of this.


The comedy stuff is actually pretty good in this issue, if sometimes rather strange (not that I object to that) but it's the serious articles that are filled with dull and annoying bits this time. The RPGA promotion is being pushed almost too blatantly, and there's more than the usual amount of overly basic articles that are useless to me. This big historical events are the most interesting part. I suppose I shouldn't be that surprised. Still, the magazine is still going fairly reliably, so the company can't be finished yet. I guess once again, my primary desire is to see what happens next. 1, 2, 3, let's go!

Dragon Magazine Issue 229: May 1996


part 1/8


124 pages. Another chance for magic to get a turn at a themed issue. They say specialist wizardry, but it's not concentrating on any one type, so it's just the usual selection of whatever they've got in their slush pile. Can't we have another psionics special at least? It's halfway through 2e and you still haven't got round to it. I suspect I'm going to have to make this complaint again in the future. Why is it so hard to get people to really specialise in a topic?  


In this issue:


The wyrms turn: My oh my. A positive message about geekdom and it's place in the world! As technology progresses, nerds become ever more essential and able to make a living from their brains. Which of course means they're less likely to be stuck in their parent's basement remaining virgins forever. In fact, things like preppy glasses, skinny jeans, stupid sweaters and hanging out in coffee shops reading are becoming a new fashion statement (goddamn hipsters) and while it might be annoying to True Geeks, being imitated by wannabes is a hell of a lot better than being ignored and laughed at. And for the foreseable future, this is getting better too. Eventually, things'll probably swing the other way, but that'll require some pretty big technological alterations to take place as well, either in making things idiot proof, or due to easy fossil fuel running out, thus forcing more people to do physical labor to survive again. So many things could happen that it's pretty much impossible to speculate on that accurately. Let's hope the future involves moving forwards to transhumanism and space, not technological collapse or extinction due to our own shortsightedness.


D-Mail: Another couple of letters praising their revamped magazine for offering stuff that's much more immediately usable, by people who haven't been reading regularly in the last few years. Well, I suppose that's the benefit of going back to basics. Repeating topics is of most benefit to casual readers.

A letter specifically praising the new Rogues gallery and Campaign classics articles. Yeah man, we like kickin' it old skool, and you're catering to that segment of the population a good deal more.

One of those letter about confused canon that are becoming increasingly common. Where the hell is Soth really? Dragonlance or Ravenloft? Well, that's a very interesting question, and you'll get a different answer depending on who you ask and when. At the moment though, he's officially stuck in Ravenloft, so Krynn can breathe easy. Not that they don't have plenty of other problems on their plate.

A more balanced letter commenting on the changes. The amount of semi-IC gumph is getting out of hand. This is interesting, but not really genuinely old skool. Well, no. It's pastiche, not actually going backwards. They are quite different things.

A letter asking for more articles covering the other continents of Toril. Faerun is starting to look overexposed. No argument with you on that one. If only the general public thought as we do, so sales made equal universal coverage economical.


Magic Miscibility: Or ultimate magic item nerf of ultimate justice! You know that potion miscibility table you rolled on if you consumed two at once? Well, someone's just had the idea of applying that principle to all magic items, and quite possibly sustained buff spells as well. They might work, they might cancel each other out, or any manner of random shit might happen. Essentially, this pretty much forces a relatively low-magic campaign, as while you can still have an item and cast spells, you won't be able to transform yourself into a hyper-buffed all contingencies covered monstrosity even at high level. So this is one of those articles that will change your game quite a bit, especially at high level, and might well make you unpopular with players. Still, it might just work, if you are having a problem, and it'll be amusing along the way. Just call it a paradigm shift, making magic less stable throughout the world. Make them grateful it still works at all. Muahahaha!!!

Dragon Magazine Issue 229: May 1996


part 2/8


The Rhabdomancer: A new specialist wizard type? Actually, it's more a particularly amusing diviner kit. Using dousing rods to detect various hidden things around you seems incredibly banal in a universe where even starting wizards can control minds and conjure blasts of energy. Whether it's more practically useful I'm not sure, but like other diviners, they only have one forbidden school, so it's not as if they're lacking in other abilities. And they do have enough new spells and alterations to existing ones that they will be interesting to play. Overall, they don't seem to be particularly under or overpowered, so I'd have no objection to using them, and the fact that they're optimised for detecting things underground gives them a perfect reason to team up with adventurers and go dungeoneering. Not bad, not bad at all.


Illusions of Grandeur: Oh hee hee hee. Our themed section continues with this highly amusing semi-IC advice on being an illusionist. Or not being an illusionist, for as we already found in issue 202, the best trick a roguish sort can pull is making you think they're completely honest and trustworthy. And let's face it, with access to another 4 wizard schools, they can provide a decent bit of reality to back up their illusions, keep people guessing as to whether a particular feature is a bluff or a real hazard. It's when things seem innocuous that you should be most worried, for when the illusion is hiding a real danger that you're actually going to suffer for your foolishness. With 5 new spells that also facilitate this kind of double-bluff behaviour, and a very quick-paced and self aware writing style, (although I figured out the twist at the end way before it happened) this shows us how to run illusionists far better than the dry old articles nitpicking on the fine points of the disbelief rules. A case where covering the same topic again isn't redundant at all, which is something they ought to pay attention to when picking articles to run.


Curses: Let's face it, just inflicting a boring penalty on dice rolls in response to people doing nasty stuff to you isn't really very dramatic. A really good curse doesn't kill it's victim, at least not quickly, it makes them suffer. This is another topic that certainly isn't new. Issues 29, 77 & 167 had articles on the inventive application of curses. And here we go again, with some random tables for you to select a punishment from. In theory, you could roll for it, but the number given doesn't fit any particular dice. Still, they are reasonably varied and amusing, giving you plenty of chances to get your sadist on. Just remember, these are really the starting point, not the end-all. Muahahaha!!!

Dragon Magazine Issue 229: May 1996


part 3/8


Bazaar of the Bizarre: Oooh. More Indian stuff. If there's a still neglected corner of the world in gaming, this is it. Both Oriental and Arabian settings slip stuff from it in, but it doesn't get it's own dedicated setting very often. Nice to see them continuing this theme for the year.

Akbari lotus wine of negotiation helps people just get on with the business at hand, instead of farting around joking and getting sidetracked, and ensures they stick to the contract after agreeing on it. Gods, I'd love to have some of this right now.

Amrita paste of immortality keeps you from dying if eaten regularly. It doesn't make you look any younger though. Enjoy your ancient withered guruness.

Animated rumal is a magical scarf that can fly and strangle people. As ever, myth is full of amusing bits to steal.

Anklet of firey retribution is one for the married couples. Course it only alerts you something is up after they die, which ain't so great, but at least it has the revenge part built in, and you won't have to clean up their body either.

A Bell of announcement lets people know how long it's going to be until you arrive, no matter how far away you are in the journey. How very polite of you. Not many wizards are well mannered and considerate enough to think of making something like this.

The Bow and Axe of conflicted Righteousness are both lawful good, but have their differences on how to best achieve this. Which means that if their owners meet, they are likely to fight. Should be fun to resolve.

Conches of rending get rid of anything from other planes, and stun everyone else by being ridiculously loud. Deafness might be an advantage here.

Dhoti of nonviolence make sure no-one attacks you if you don't attack them. Just lay back and watch the fight smugly, then negotiate with the winners and send them on a cryptic quest. That's the guru way.

The ebony mace of wavering drains karma from anyone it hits. Great, not only have you been bashed to death, but you've been reincarnated undeservingly as a weasel. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Ashoka's lion kings are a 4 set of wise and benevolent figurines. They're more than just servants, they make excellent conversation as well. Naming them Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Zeppo will probably not go down well.

Bandicoot Mounts reverse the normal figurine procedure. Instead of growing, it shrinks it's user so they can use it as a mount through small areas.

Hanuman monkeys are rather good at spying and trickery. Send them on a mission suited to their strengths and they can be quite effective. Straight combat isn't quite such a strong point, but they're hardly useless at that either.

(little) White bulls are our final figurine. They're mainly for ploughing and carrying heavy loads, but like the real thing, can be pretty nasty in a pinch. They can stay animate longer than most of these too, so they can become a staple of your party's treasure carrying strategy.  

The flute of Silence persuades undead to die for good with it's unheard melodies. An excellent substitute for a cleric in the party.

Linen armor of displacement is for the thief in the party. Climbing and dimension dooring lets you ninja around quite happily.

The Mandala of psychic devotion contradicts itself. Not as useful as it'd like to be, due to unclear rules.

Rani of Jhansi's saddle lets you fight on beyond death. Once the battle stops, that's when you drop. Ride a bear, so your mount doesn't become the weak link in this business.

The Rod of monsoon control lets you cause massive devastation. Since that happens every year around these parts, people won't be too surprised.

Sapling wands allow you to bend in the wind and avoid any harm from it. Low key but neat. Probably work better as a ring or other worn item though.

Shakunta's ring of memory helps you remember where you last met people and what you did. Perfect for the adventurer on the go, this'll save you a bit of embarrasment over the years.

The Sitar of clarity is another incredibly useful item that allows you to half your spell regaining time, along with it's other meditative benefits. Course, it's tricky to read and play at the same time, so you'll have to hire someone else to do so.

A Spinning wheel of Dharma is a rather interesting device that helps you locate people's reincarnations and restore their memories of past lives. This is a very entertaining one to play with indeed.

Spirit Whisks allow you to clear out an area of intangible presences. The cleaning process may look somewhat amusing, but really, this is a plus.

The Tandava Drum and Tambourine of deva presence make people think you have a powerful supernatural guardian. Which after all, you might in a fantasy world.

The Tome of Spying allows you to have all your nearest and dearest watched for signs of treachery. Since the magical creatures involved tend to err on the side of generosity when reporting, this will make you paranoid and bitter if you weren't already. Which is the kind of consequences for owning a magic item that I find rather pleasing.

Flame-of-the-woods trees produce flammable flowers that you can use as grenades. Woo. Everyone should have some of these, if only to learn how to handle stuff carefully.

Moshka Mango Trees are the ultimate booby prize for any non-buddhist. If you're not a self-righteous prig they'll permanently cripple you, and if you are they'll "release you from the cycle of reincarnation" Yeuch. And this is presented as a good thing in the original myths.

Wool trees produce extra badass wool. This may sound funny, but will make a nice little earner for anyone who can cultivate them. And given it's importance in everyday life, it's another one it's surprising you don't see more of.

Vajira arrows turn into lightning bolts when shot. That's reasonably awesome visually. Not as dangerous as actual wizard's lightning bolts, but since they're often in batches, the damage and stunning can really add up in a tactical situation.

The Wheel of light rays is dazzling, and hurts you more the worse your karma is. Another one to separate the good guys from the bad guys (and then result in a fight afterwards) Since it also seems to have unlimited uses, use it from behind a transparent wall for freesmiting utterly broken carnage.

Wrist threads of spirit protection allow you to usefully cover another area of your body in magic items. In addition to the obvious shieldings, they also let you detect rakshasa. Course, you still probably won't be able to hurt them, but that's your problem to solve.

Well, that was certainly a pretty epic article. This should keep me busy for a quite a while, and has several amusing and surprising items in it. Always nice to be able to open a fresh barrel instead of scraping out the old ones.

Dragon Magazine Issue 229: May 1996


part 4/8


A wizards' three: Not to be confused with THE wizards three, which I did when I first looked at the contents page, and I suspect is a misconception they encourage, for there are some people for whom the presence of an Ed Greenwood article is a real tipping point in deciding to buy. But no, this is another variant specialist type and a couple of kits instead. Not as impressive, but still nice for those players who crave more crunchy options when designing their characters.

Frost wizards are para-elemental specialists, following in the footsteps of Athasian clerics. They are extra good at ice spells, above average with air & water, and forbidden to use fire & earth ones. Since there aren't that many ice spells, they may have rather limited tactical options, but that is solved by collecting more supplements. They don't seem particularly under or overpowered really.

Fiend slayers are one of those kits where the bonusses seem to outweigh the penalties, but as they're very focussed upon lower-planar monstrosities, and since such things are well above average in their offensive capability, they'll need all the help they can get to avoid a quick (or slow, which would be worse) death. Like paladins, it's a hard life being a hero.

Spiritualists are also mostly benefits, with the penalties for their profession purely social and roleplaying based. Since their benefits are more widely applicable, they are one that is definitely better than just not having a kit. Whether you allow that is of course up to you as a DM.


Rogues Gallery: Skip Williams chooses to remind us that while Ranger/Druids are technically an illegal combination, they're such an obvious choice thematically that they had a loophole built in for them. Thanks Frank. :teeth ting: There are other interesting aspects of this that stem from the game's rules quirks, such as the fact a half-elf would grow up slower than humans, but way faster than elves, and thus struggle in a standard schooling system either way, and the way his magical items synergise and their effects are factored into the statistics. The personality stuff is pretty typical, but then, he's never been great at that, has he. So overall, I think that balances out to an average entry for this series.


AD&D Triviathalon: For a third month in a row, this competition and it's associated hotline get promoted. Time is running out fast! Take this chance to give us more money! Nothing new here, I'm just surprised how hard they're promoting it. Curious and slightly annoying.


The dimensional wizard: A second new specialist wizard in one issue. I feel rather spoiled. This issue isn't doing too badly with it's theme at all. And specialising in planar manipulating magic is the kind of thing I would love to do. Like wild mages, they don't actually have any forbidden schools, although they do suffer a fairly substantial penalty when attempting to learn spells outside their speciality. With the usual bonus spell per spell level, bonuses on saves and penalties on enemy saves, plus a few nifty extras at high level, they seem quite decent, although like necromancers, they have a serious shortage of low level spells that means they may be rather squishy and a third wheel initially, but become really awesome later on when groups actually want to go planehopping. I shall have to invent a few low level spells to compensate for that if I ever get the chance to use this, but I do strongly approve of this in principle.


Campaign Classics: Zeb returns to his own writing of a decade ago, and updates the Wu Jen for 2nd edition. In fact, this isn't so much an updating as it is a complete reimagining, trying to create another type of wizard which spends hit points to power their spells instead of forgetting them after casting. While a little tougher and more capable physically than a standard wizard, they're still pretty fragile, which means they'll only be able to cast a few spells before having to rest even if they max out their constitution. And since they're resistant to magical healing, over an extended campaign, they'll wind up using dramatically less magic, or resting for weeks between adventures. Combine that with the fact that their spell selections are tiny, and they're vastly underpowered to even the most cursory mechanical examination. Sorry, as much as I love some of the stuff you've produced, I'm not using something like this with a 10 foot pole. The core idea isn't bad, but it needs some serious revising to work in a game with ordinary classes. So this somehow manages to be the only big failure in an otherwise very good themed section.

Dragon Magazine Issue 229: May 1996


part 5/8


The role of books: The perfect princess by Irene Radford gets a review that is almost entirely mockery for the stupid alphabet soup names. There is no cultural correlation, a whole bunch of dumb puns, and some random ones that just make him laugh. If you can ignore that the plot isn't too bad, but you'll have a hard time doing that.

One for the morning glory by John Barnes, on the other hand, gets quite specific praise. He's managed to produce something quite different from his usual fare, but still just as high quality. That requires quite a bit of knowledge of craftsmanship and how to manipulate genre conventions. Which means he's a lot more likely to produce other good books in the future. And you know the book houses like their reliable sellers.

Caverns of Socrates by Dennis L McKiernan is a trapped in virtual reality story that does the common thing involving the questioning the nature of reality and consciousness where highly sophisticated computers are involved. It avoids giving any hard answers to those questions, but you probably wouldn't want it too, given they're still ambiguous in the real world. The important thing is that the story is fun, after all.

The spirit gate by Maya Kaathryn Bohnhoff draws on a pesudo polish backdrop for it's fantasy setting, which is mildly unusual. This is one of those books John likes because it's on the subtle, well thought out end of things, with an internally consistent magic system, and plenty of personal intrigue and character building. He seems to pick one of those most months, so how much drek does he have to wade through to find them and consider them unusual?

The instrument of fate by Christie Golden is another attempt by a TSR author to strike out on their own with a new world. The big supernatural elements? Elves and music. How very froofy. Not that it's bad, mind you, just that the basic ideas are quite familiar. Still, that means you can compare them to other similar things, and he finds she's done her research and made sure things aren't too hackneyed.


Survival of the smartest: A second article which illustrates it's lessons with in character speeches this month. They seem to have really decided to give them preferential treatment. I suppose it's not surprising, given that this approach seems to produce a lot of memorable articles, and if the writers (& their mouthpiece characters) are recurring it a good way to leverage into bigger things. But not everyone is Ed Greenwood. So it proves here, in an article which is pretty entertaining as a read, and has some nice tricks for your character to steal and incorporate but doesn't push the boundaries of wizard behaviour. Well, maybe apart from pointing out that they ought to be using darts more, and not hoarding their charged items like far too many characters do, and that's a playstyle issue. So this certainly isn't bad, and once again, the IC sections help reduce the feel that we've heard this topic before, but it's not quite as good as the illusionist article earlier in the issue. Guess the usual pattern of front-loading the best articles applies here.


Magic doesn't always go Boom!: From clever uses of magic to subtle uses of magic? Yeah, we know this one too. We've been shown many times that utility magic has a far greater impact upon the game than offensive spells of the same level. Magic affecting your skills in particular is overlooked. Stuff that grants you basic skill in something you're ignorant of appeared in issue 181, but here we have a few more variants on that principle. It's not completely redundant, but it is pretty familiar. Neverrending pickle jars. Technology substitutions for hot & cold running water, quills that write on their own. I think this manages to justify itself by putting new variants on the idea, but it's a close one. Next time you probably won't be so lucky.

Dragon Magazine Issue 229: May 1996


part 6/8


Tales of the fifth age: The taking of mount nevermind by David Wise. From a double bill of annoying kender facing adversity with cheer, to an equally annoying story of tinker gnomes facing terrifying adversity with cheer. And despite suffering a quite substantial bodycount, they suffer far less than they ought too due to sheer optimism and ability to take advantage of any opportunities life offers them. Despite technically losing at every step against a rampaging red dragon, they irritate him so much that he is just driven to despair. It's one of those cases where the cheese factor of Krynn just gets too much for me to handle, and completely prevents me from believing the setting as a real place with characters I can empathise with. Once again I am forced to pronounce this experiment a failure. The kind of story you are trying to tell is just way too silly for me to enjoy. Even the gag comics have characters with more convincing motivations and emotional reactions.


Dungeon Mastery: A is for yet another quick NPC generation method. An alliterative one as well, in this case. I suppose it makes them easier to remember, but it can also get a bit forced. And when it's only 3 steps while others have gone for 7 or 10, this definitely feels like one of those articles that's redundant when compare to it's bigger, more comprehensive precursors. And as I've said before, the fact that they've suddenly become a lot more willing to directly rehash topics recently is one of the worst parts of the new editorial regime. Nothing much to see here I'm afraid.


Sage advice: How do you decipher illusionists secret language (read magic'll do the job nicely)

How can Phaerimm be 40th level if mortals can't get above 30th (by not being mortals. Another case of the answer being right in front of you, dope.)

Do monster THAC0's improve above 16 HD (yes. They can get very scary)

Do druids still get planar travel at 21-23rd level (no)

Can you cast a true dweomer with a difficulty above 100. (no)

Can a dragon use it's breath weapon if it's mouth is taped shut (They have noses as well. Common sense, as ever, must rule, my dear. )

Do chant and prayer buff spell damage (yes, but only once, not per die)

Is a wall of force negated by a spell engine. (yes. Schloooooorp)

What are the limitations of contingency (one spell, released once, then you have to recast it. You set the conditions. That's it.)

Does call woodland beings work like other summoning spells (no. It's all exception based design. Druids are a pain in the ass.)

Is failing to turn the same as turning your back (no.)

How many attacks of opportunity do you get against a charging creature when using a bardiche (none. They've done nothing to provoke it)

What's the difference between offensive and defensive disarms (one you do on your turn, the other you do on theirs)


Network news: The convention columnist shares his early experiences of going, and a few tips on how to get the best out of doing so. The result is quite pleasant reading, but somewhat hampered by his low word count. Even as single page columns goes, this seems pretty short due to the formatting, and we have had pretty extensive articles on convention going over the years. I think my rough opinion can be described as elaborate or get off the pot. It's not that this is bad, it's just that it's not nearly enough to satisfy, and a bit rehashed. Just as with the editorials, having to write a fixed amount every month even when there's no real news can result in a lot of filler.