I'm working on getting my Elthos RPG mini-system ready for publication.   I have one page set aside for an introduction, and some place holder text there at the moment that I'm not quite satisfied with.   Reading one of the threads here, and getting a note of warning from my copy-editor, I'm going to give it a re-write.   But I'm kinda stumped as to what an Introduction should cover.  At the moment it comes across as "Why you should check out Elthos RPG" and talks about what it's for, and why I think it's great.   My copy editor suggested that this kind of message is best left for the Marketing blurb when I load it to Lulu.   So then I stared at it for a while, but am not sure what to replace it with... or if an Introduction is even necessary?  Any advice would be welcome.   Thanks.

How about a history of the game? What prompted you to design it, what games influenced you, how the game developed, that kind of thing.

Quote from: WarthurHow about a history of the game? What prompted you to design it, what games influenced you, how the game developed, that kind of thing.

More suited for the Designer Notes section I think.

Quote from: VBWyrdeAt the moment it comes across as "Why you should check out Elthos RPG" and talks about what it's for, and why I think it's great. My copy editor suggested that this kind of message is best left for the Marketing blurb when I load it to Lulu.

Introductions tend to be a repeat of the useful marketing information for those who pick up the book without having seen the marketing. That may not happen on Lulu itself, but it would for any who happened to have the book loaned to them. So I'm at a lost.

I'd ask the copy editor what he thinks should go there.

I'm with gelichman. Say what the game is. Set the tone. Introduce the big stuff, say what the players might be up to.

Quote from: Rob LangI'm with gelichman. Say what the game is. Set the tone. Introduce the big stuff, say what the players might be up to.

Ok thanks for the feedback guys.  It sounds like maybe what I have now would be ok for the Introduction.   I did ask the copy editor what she suggested should go there and she thought maybe an example of play...?  I was like ... um ... ok... but then again maybe not.  Hehe.    Would it be ok to post the Introduction here later and you could critique it?  

Thanks!

Mark

Quote from: VBWyrdeOk thanks for the feedback guys.  It sounds like maybe what I have now would be ok for the Introduction.   I did ask the copy editor what she suggested should go there and she thought maybe an example of play...?  I was like ... um ... ok... but then again maybe not.  Hehe.    Would it be ok to post the Introduction here later and you could critique it?  

Thanks!

Mark

Example of play? I rather doubt it.

Maybe I'm too old school. "Tell them what you about to tell them, tell them, remind them of what you told them." Maybe too simple and unnuanced in today's world.

Sure, I'd like to see the Introduction. I hope I notice it being posted, shoot me a PM if I don't.

Include an example of play but not in the introduction. The Intro is the first thing people read. They get the book, they sit down with a cup of tea and something to dip into it and they want to know what they're going to get into. Although they have purchased the book, you still have to sell it to get them to play. Ease them into the concepts your game is about. They may never have played anything but AD&D.

Please do throw it up here, I'd be happy to give it a read!

Quote from: Rob LangInclude an example of play but not in the introduction. The Intro is the first thing people read. They get the book, they sit down with a cup of tea and something to dip into it and they want to know what they're going to get into. Although they have purchased the book, you still have to sell it to get them to play. Ease them into the concepts your game is about. They may never have played anything but AD&D.

Please do throw it up here, I'd be happy to give it a read!

Ok great.  Thanks.  

I should also mention that the current project is my mini-system.  As such the rules are only 22 pages total, including cover page, introduction, rules, example of play, mini-GM Guide, printout sheets, and index.   It's a mini-system.  And so, given that, my question is whether or not an Introduction at all is overkill.  BUT that said, I will post the introduction when I get home.   Thanks again!

Quote from: VBWyrde...given that, my question is whether or not an Introduction at all is overkill.

A mini-system probably merits a mini-introduction.  Seriously.

Think of an introduction this way: A random person picks up your book/document/whatever for the first time, without any idea of what it is or what to expect.  The first page should tell the reader what the document is, what it's intended to achieve, and (very briefly) how to achieve it.  If you've ever written a university term paper, the introduction to a game needn't differ significantly from that form -- state the purpose of the paper, a brief summary of how the purpose was pursued, and a summary of the conclusions.

!i!

Quote from: Ian AbsentiaA mini-system probably merits a mini-introduction.  Seriously.

I'm with Ian on this.

Quote from: Ian AbsentiaA mini-system probably merits a mini-introduction.  Seriously.

Think of an introduction this way: A random person picks up your book/document/whatever for the first time, without any idea of what it is or what to expect.  The first page should tell the reader what the document is, what it's intended to achieve, and (very briefly) how to achieve it.  If you've ever written a university term paper, the introduction to a game needn't differ significantly from that form -- state the purpose of the paper, a brief summary of how the purpose was pursued, and a summary of the conclusions.

!i!

Yep.  I get ya.  Of course I have certain design constraints that lead me down this path.  That being that I need to publish in full pages, and all the other pages are packed solid.  So it's either, a one page introduction, giving me a nice clean 22 page booklet.   Or its no introduction, but then I have a 21 page booklet where in I need to push a page in front of the two charts pages anyway since I want those two pages to be facing each other (so you can see both charts pages at the same time).  And so... I wound up with a one page introduction.   I could, perhaps, shorten it.  But then I still have a half page or quarter page intro... and then on the rest of the page I have ... art maybe?   So anyway, I think that bit of context is also what I'm condending with.   So I'll post the intro tonight and we'll see what you think of it then.  Thanks very much for the advice and help!

ELTHOS
Role Playing Game Mini-System
The Core ODS Rules Book
Picnic Table & Pub
Version 1.20
Commencement Edition
Introducing The "One Die System" (ODS)

Introduction

The Elthos "One Die System" (ODS) is an ultra-light-weight Role-Playing Game (RPG) System.  It is ideal for people who want to play a Role-Playing Game, but do not want overly complicated rules.  It is a great system for those primarily interested in the story aspect of fantasy adventure, but who also like the game aspect.  It is also great for those who want to play in settings where discretion is the better part of valor, such as a pub, or picnic table, or the back seat of your car.  If you want to play a lightweight, fast-action, story-enabling game, this is for you.  The ODS uses exactly one six-sided die to play the entire game!  The math in the ODS is so extremely simple even I can do it!!  Awesome!

Despite being light-weight, the ODS rules are actually highly sophisticated and cover almost every aspect of RPG rules that I've used over the past 30 years because they are a distillation of my more comprehensive Elthos Prime System.  The ODS rules are designed to be flexible enough to pretty much handle any situation, with a little creative adjudication by the Gamesmaster.  The basic game mechanic is very straight forward:  Determine the Skill Level of the Character attempting any task, and the relative Level of Difficulty of doing that task in the given situation on a scale of 1 to 6.  Look up the Chance To Hit on one chart (General Resolution Matrix). Roll one six-sided die to see if the Character succeeds in the task.  That's the resolution system.  How easy is that?  Very easy!

The ODS is designed to provide a set of rules that the Gamesmaster can build off of.  Creating new rules is simply a matter of keeping to the basic pattern of the existing rules, and following this one all-important Guideline: When in doubt, Keep It Simple!  

This Rules Book is designed for one purpose only:  To provide you with the Core Rules.  Therefore it is very small.  However, there is plenty of Setting to the Elthos World, but that information will be provided separately in The Elthos World Weaver's Guide.

To speak briefly about the Setting, the Elthos World is designed to let World Weavers create any kinds of World they wish.  There is no one specific Genre associated to Elthos.  The Celestial Island of Elthos embodies reflections of Arthurian Romances, Greek & Norse Myths, Gothic Horror, folklore, fairytales, and a truly endless myriad of Otherworldly possibilities.  But more on all of this in the Elthos World Weaver's Guide.  The ODS Core Rules Book will help you to create the objects within your World, (Characters, Races, Items) and provide a simple yet comprehensive methodology for resolving conflicts and determining victories or defeats within the game world.  With this Rules Book you can run Adventures and pit Characters against each other or monsters, and create stories based on their actions and their consequences.

Ultimately Elthos is a Story Game.  It is about the Players as a group creating a Great Story via the game-actions of their Characters within the context of a fascinating World.

To learn more about Elthos RPG please visit the Elthos Website at http://www.elthos.com.

I think I see what the copy editor was saying. There's a bunch there is a strong sales pitch.

I'd be a little less "This is great, give up sliced bread for it" and a bit more, here's what you have in your hands. They've already bought it after all.

Quote from: gleichmanI think I see what the copy editor was saying. There's a bunch there is a strong sales pitch.

I'd be a little less "This is great, give up sliced bread for it" and a bit more, here's what you have in your hands. They've already bought it after all.

I see.  Ok ... I think I can manage to tone down the pitch aspect.  My impression was when I wrote this that this was supposed to be the sales pitch page.   Not so?   Ok, no problem.   I appreciate the feedback.  Thank you.  

I'd also advise that you poke out those "I"s. Just doesn't sound right to me, but then that may just be me.