There has not been an adequate study of the social structure of the assorted Gobliniod races in recent memory, if indeed ever. Aside from the most rudimentary understanding of their culture, there is little that is actually known of  the lives of gobliniods. It is the intention of this monograph to illuminate dark dwelling species. However, even more than elves we are forced to  deal with a wide variety of assumptions and poorly understood facts.

Assumption One:  Gobliniods are not native to the surface and are a troglodytic, or subterrainian, species. This is a vastly different category than nocturnal, as many zoological 'experts' would claim them. This is born out by the tendency of many gobliniods to exhibit extreme photosensitivity.  

Assumption Two: Gobliniods are primarily carnivorious, as evidenced by the fanglike teeth ascribed to them in many source documents. While occasionally refered to as Tusks, the features of the Goblinoids do not suggest that their extended canines are meant for digging for roots or defensive combat, their morphology is entirely inconsistent with such activities, while the sharp pointed teeth are entirely appropriate for tearing meat, cracking bones for marrow and other activites typical of predatory animals.  As meat eaters, Gobliniods would have difficulty consumbing digesting grains, with lesser degrees of difficulty with other plant based foods.

Assumption Three: Gobliniods have a very rapid metabolic rate, with a corresponding requirement in caloric intake. Presumably they also have naturally short lifespans and it is speculated by many source documents that Gobliniods have large 'litter' births, with a rapid gestation period.  Gobliniods are subject to frequent population explosions as a result, especially in times of plenty.

Assumption Four: Gobliniods are not a single species but a sequence of closely linked species. However, there is evidence that all Gobliniods are in fact a single Species, and merely self segregated by size. Evidence exists of fertile crossbreeds, rather than sterile mules, and there is likewise evidence that gobliniods continue to grow throughout their lives, suggesting that even the smallest Goblin may one day be large enough to be classified as a Hobgoblin or Bugbear. However data is exceedingly scarce on the subject as is not viewed as entirely pertinent to this study.

Assumption Five: Orcs are not related to Goblins to any extent, and no crossbreeding, fertile or otherwise, is possible.  This is a matter of some contention with various source documents providing contradictory information.  Most Source documents agree that Orcs are not a naturally occurring species, with different origins ascribed to them depending upon the bias of the source. Goblins, however, are a naturally occurring species.  Further speculation is left to biologists and cryptozoologists interested in such things.  

Assumption Six: despite derogatory comments from other species, no evidence exists to prove that Gobliniods are less intelligent than other species, with a  possible exception made for the largest specimens.  Smaller Goblins are known for craft and cunning, even  a certain vicious ingenuity in ambushing and trapping larger enemies. Middle range gobliniods are often commented upon regarding the extreme level of organization and discipline and strategic acumen they show in military matters, it is a fair assumption that such skills are fully applicable to a broader range of activies. Likewise, despite being apparently a younger race, with less footprint upon history than Elves, dwarves, or even to an extent Humans, Gobliniods are not without models of more advanced cultures to draw upon, yet persistently they exhibit a social structure best described as primative or even savage.  This can not be without cause, which we hope to address in this monograph.

Assumption Seven: Gobliniods show both extreme willingness to engage in combat and otherwise lethal activies, and extreme cowardass when faced with a proven superior opponent. Obviously these two extremes can not logically coexist alongside one another, so one must be a gross misunderstanding on the part of observers. Cowards do not typically head to war in large numbers or with great frequency, and as Gobliniods do not respect merely dangerous opponents, only proven Superior opponents we must be mistaken in their timidity. Gobliniods, regardless of type, are not cowards as the term is understood.  Quite the opposite, they show an extreme disregard for their own safety in many source documents.  

Assumption Eight: Despite no organized educational system or a culture that supports any learning activities other than trial and error, Gobliniods have frequently demonstrated a great deal of knowledge regarding craftsmanship, warfare and many infrastructure behavior, apparently instinctively. Given source documents that suggest that Goblins can recognize on sight weapons that even the Elves have long forgotten, if such things were used upon them, it can be suggested that Gobliins possess some sort of Racial Memory far in excess of any other demonstrated species.

Assumption Nine: Goblins occasionally act in ways that are detrimental to their own survival, but never to the detriment of the species. Goblins will face certain death on the orders of a superior, and once actually engaged with a superior opponent, a certain number of Goblins will fight to the bitter end, even while the majority flee. Source documents are unclear on this subject, but anecdotal evidence would seem to support this assumption.  Many tales of goblin ambushes reveal that even in the most obviously failed ambush, at least one or two goblins would hurl themselves at the enemy, apparently oblivious to the fact that their comrades were in a full route. A seemingly incidental side effect of this behavior is that is it is extremely difficult to run survivors down, and Goblins, once entrenced in a warren or den are notoriously difficult to root out.  The prevelance of such tales suggests a kernel of truth that has been missed by many observers and source documents.


Looking at our assumptions, all based on observable fact, it becomes clear that Goblins have a significant problem, culturally. They can never hope to produce food sources equal to the needs of their ever expanding population.  Agriculture can not produce foodstuffs that Gobliniods could survive off of for any length of time, and the herd animal needs would be overwhelming.  Gobliniods simply can not survive without raiding and warfare to cull their numbers, it is that simple.  It is a classic example of the Malthus Society, turning upon itself as it expands to capacity and beyond.

In other words,  all goblin life is dominated by simple, endless hunger.

The first historical records of Gobliniods were from the Dwarves, some centuries or possibly millennia after they had first settled into their underground habitats. Early reports are sketchy, but suggest a slow escalation of conflict, starting with rare 'pests' and 'vermin' stealing from dwarven holds, to later violent ambushes and raids, leading to full blow wars that continue to this day. Ironically, the goblins surfaced before the Dwarves did, and records among early human civilization speaks of Hordes of the species some decades before the first contact with Dwarven envoys.  How did hordes of Goblins form seemingly from nowhere? Simple, they had never been on the surface prior to that.  But where did they come from?

A study of the crude Gobliniod religious symbology, coupled with an understanding of their basic cultural traits suggests and answer. Like many species, the Gobliniods were not always the race we now know. At one time the Goblins were a successful, if primative species living in the dark spaces of the earth, deeper than the Dwarven cavern-cities.  It was this culture that learned  crafts and warfare and all the other things that young cultures learn.  We suspect that some superior predatory race preyed upon the Goblins for some time.   For example, every Gobliniod god seems to be some sort of demonic being that needs to be placated, rather than venerated. Goblins seem to have a great number of fear totems or motifs in their worship and ritual behavior.

Something evidently happened to that predatory species. There is some debate among scholars, leading to two separate schools of thought. One school is that the Gobliniods fought off, eventually eliminated the threat species, the other is that some other species, one not inclined to consume Gobliniods came in and displaced the apex predators. Various sources postulate a xenophobic elf tribe, others suggest it was the Dwarves themselves, regardless, the loss of the Apex Predator resulted in an ecological disaster for Gobliniods.

Previously, a significant percentage of the species would be killed and consumed, the instincts remain and are visible when fighting Gobliniods in how some members seem heedless of danger while others seek to flee as soon as the fight grows serious. Without that consumption, the gobliniod population rapidly outpaced the capacity of their enviroment to support them.  Eventually, whatever native culture they had developed was completely subsumed by the need for food.  Almost immedeatly an anarchistic 'might makes right' situation developed, with superior Gobliniods taking greater shares of the food resources from weaker members. This has been postulated as the triggering event to intiate the evident specieation, the separation of the race into multiple distinct, yet related races.

Normally, after a few generations all vestiges of a culture would vanish completely. Presumably many animalistic savage races were once capable of higher civilization but devolved into their avatavistic state in the wake of some cultural disaster. In the case of the gobliniods, however, their extremely developed racial memory, presumably an evolutionary adaptation to heavy predation, enabled them to retain the ability to craft goods and transmit basic knowledge without an infrastructure.  

As with all such Malthusian cultures, the species preys upon itself. Cannibalism, or the consumption of goblins by other goblins is a well established fact in many source documents. Of course, with external cultures of 'plenty' available, goblins naturally turn to raiding behavior whenever possible.  They have no real choice.

The development of organized, disciplined armies of Gobliniods, particularly the larger breeds is a more recent development, and a disturbing one. These Gobliniods are capable of both controlling and utilizing their breeding behavior and instinctive behavior in strategic deployments, and have taken pages from other, more civilized races to build a cultural infrastructure utilizing slave laborers. This is probably a survival adaption to the lack of predation, just as previously the massive, nearly suicidal hordes were in ages past.

Prior to the rise of organized armies and Gobliniod Kingdoms, and still in many places where Goblins tend to exist outside of external influence (deep underground, remote wildernesses), the 'native' culture of Goblins is extremely brutal. There is no real organization other than by Strength, weaker members may be eaten, even by their 'friends', two Goblins may fight to the death over trivial things without anyone suggesting otherwise. There are no laws, and no real punishments.  There is some limited cohesiveness remaining, an 'us vs. them' mentality which can extend to other bands of gobliniods, which are often viewed with just as much envy and suspicion as groups of other races.  Such Goblin Dominated areas tend to be barren wastelands, stripped of all resources the local packs can get their hands on.

On the cowardice/violence thing, it has always been my understanding that goblins were ruthless sadists, as opposed to being marching armies. The kind of people who'd chloroform(sp?) the lone adventurer, improson him, and leave him alone with the electromancer.

Just a thought as to violent cowardice.

Spike, I'm enjoying these.  I'd like to see one on humans now

Ouch, Techno....


You know these are written from the perspective of a human scholar right? It's hard to step back like that and do some critical self analasys. Not that its impossible. In fact, I've had a mind to try to write up something as if aliens were talking about us for years now...

Hmm....






As for the violent Sadists aspect: It isn't pathological sadism so much as a cultural phenomenon. Naturally occuring gobliniod culture has them piling on top of each other endlessly. In more modern terms you would have vast unemployment, boredom and the daily threat of starvation or even death in a lawless land. Cruelty becomes a survival trait.  Continue for even a few generations and it becomes endemic even when NOT pressured.

As for the 'not armies' theory... well, you haven't read up on you D&D Hobgoblins, the Armies in the Lords of the Ring, and then too the Greenskins of Warhammer fame (the larger Goblins are erroniously refered to as Orks, though in that setting there is evidence that Orks were a constructed soldier race, possibly bred up from Goblin stocks.)... Smaller Goblinoids typically do not form actual armies, more like a plague of locusts the swarm and consume as much as they can before other Goblins can get it.

Quote from: SpikeAs for the violent Sadists aspect: It isn't pathological sadism so much as a cultural phenomenon. Naturally occuring gobliniod culture has them piling on top of each other endlessly. In more modern terms you would have vast unemployment, boredom and the daily threat of starvation or even death in a lawless land. Cruelty becomes a survival trait.  Continue for even a few generations and it becomes endemic even when NOT pressured.

I have to agree and disagree on this part. Firstly, violence is fun. You don't need to be pathological to enjoy a good eye-gouging, especially if you happen to be angry. Secondly, I can't see surviving poverty as being any easier for those who engage in infighting. Perhaps a xenophobia? A resentment of those who put them down? Of course, the survivability of all this infighting also relies on breeding rates. I dunno.

QuoteAs for the 'not armies' theory... well, you haven't read up on you D&D Hobgoblins, the Armies in the Lords of the Ring, and then too the Greenskins of Warhammer fame (the larger Goblins are erroniously refered to as Orks, though in that setting there is evidence that Orks were a constructed soldier race, possibly bred up from Goblin stocks.)... Smaller Goblinoids typically do not form actual armies, more like a plague of locusts the swarm and consume as much as they can before other Goblins can get it.

I dunno if LotR counts. In the case of hobgoblins, that's a different thing entirely. +2Dex +2Con makes for someone who can survive a tad better in alot of fights. Hence the "hardened soldier" bit.

Quote from: beejazzI have to agree and disagree on this part. Firstly, violence is fun. You don't need to be pathological to enjoy a good eye-gouging, especially if you happen to be angry. Secondly, I can't see surviving poverty as being any easier for those who engage in infighting. Perhaps a xenophobia? A resentment of those who put them down? Of course, the survivability of all this infighting also relies on breeding rates. I dunno.

I dunno if LotR counts. In the case of hobgoblins, that's a different thing entirely. +2Dex +2Con makes for someone who can survive a tad better in alot of fights. Hence the "hardened soldier" bit.

violence is a means of entertainment for those without recourse to other outlets of boredom or stress, and so, yes Goblins would find it 'fun'.  Thats not to say you can't enjoy them even if you do have plenty of other options. Goblins, as a general rule, do not have those other options, and grow up in a culture already saturated with violence... over food, and for 'fun'.  Their breeding rate, as already stated, is the proximate cause of their situation, so in this case would also help alleviate the excessive population pressure.

As for Hobgoblins: A reminder that this is meant as a more universal study, rather than a specific case. That said, the D&D books are a source document, particularly in regards to Hobgoblin militarization.  While I am unfamiliar with their current presentation in D&D terms, but in previous editions they have been described as very militant and organized. Likewise, when you realize that in LotR many of the 'orcs' described are actually large goblins (not the Uruk-hai, who are actual Orcs), and they were formed into a disciplined fighting force by Sauron.... well, you can see from just those two sources where the notion of larger more disciplined Goblinoids comes into play.

and again....

Ha, it's good to see this stuff around again!

Also... I thought that in Lord of the Rings, the word Orc came from their word for general or something (which would be uruk... later part of uruk-hai, though I'm not sure of the full meaning of the latter). So wouldn't orc and goblin in LotR be different naming conventions for the same things? Uruk-hai were actually crosses between humans and orcs (the purpose of which was to counteract light-sensitivity), but there were vague hints that they also had a bit of hobbit in them (in that they were described as bearing a resemblance to a specific hobbit encountered in Fellowship).

Well:

As I recall you only met goblins in 'The Hobbit' and only met Orcs in 'The Lord...', so I always figured Tolkien just meant the same guys more or less.

Smeagol, or Gollum, was either a hobbit or a 'proto-hobbit', other than that I don't recal and hobbit/orc connection.  Still, I figured there was enough room for two different 'non-civilized' races in generic worlds to account for both...

Quote from: SpikeWell:

As I recall you only met goblins in 'The Hobbit' and only met Orcs in 'The Lord...', so I always figured Tolkien just meant the same guys more or less.

I was fairly certain the difference could be attributed to the varying authors. As I recall, The Hobbit was supposed to have been written by Bilbo while the Lord of the  Rings trilogy was supposed to have been written by Frodo or Sam. Hence they used a different name for them... Bilbo's being picked up from the Dwarves or Smeagol, and Frodo/Sam's word being picked up from the human armies, or from the uruk-hai themselves during Merri (not sure if that's how you spell it) and Pippin's capture.

As for the hobbit reference, it was noted that the uruk-hai had a certain "slant-eyed" appearance, like that of a hobbit frodo et al encountered in that one city (odd that I can't remember the name of the town or the hobbit) prior to the council of Elrond. I remember Sam throwing an apple at that dude and lamenting a waste of an apple. Memory's an odd thing innit? Wish I had a copy of the Fellowship on hand.

I think the be-appled chap was a guy named Bill Furney, but I could be wrong. Anyhow, this article was win.

Think Bill Ferny was human

Quote from: whiteyfatsThink Bill Ferny was human

When they made that supposition, I'm pretty sure they hadn't had any encounters with the Uruk-hai. I recall that later, a hobbit might have made a connection between the breeding programs of Sarumen and the "ill-favored" Bill.

But, you know, I'm just not inclined to try to look it up like I would have if I were a kid. ^_^''