Quote from: MeatLips;319707I'm game to do it another night this week, if it would be easier on you. How does Tuesday night sound to everyone?

That sounds ok.

I would rather do it today. I have stuff planned for tomorrow. 7PM at ross's tonight is fine with me.

Ok, you damn dirty apes. You said I wouldn't write this tonight, and you were all dead wrong. So here's what happened tonight.

Nothing.

Tonight's gaming session was pure, unadulterated goat. First we visited this total ghost town, where Reven detected and avoided an anemically weak-ass trap at a local tavern, after which we proceeded to travel to the town of Brindel, where we spent two-and-a-half hours with our dicks in our hands blathering about how to fortify the town from impending attack from the Red Hand or Red Horde or whatever the fuck they're called. It was so boring that I began to feel my spirit flee my body, and as my boredom grew, so did my frustration. I actually briefly considered helping the bad guys to nuke the fucking town in a fit of pique.

But we didn't do that.

Kramer-san was like:

"You wanna fight somethin'..? Huh? You really fight somethin'? Okay. Travel for a day, and it'll happen!" :emot_haw:

I'm thinking, "yes....please.....throw us a motherfucking bone!"

So we traveled for a day before we reached a clearing in the forest....where we heard the sound of wings...

...and became the recipients of an impending Red Dragon attack.



Well, the fight was a clusterfuck. It killed Reven's pet, Dragonell, and nearly mulched the rest of us. I had Hrothgar's familiar, Banjo retreat, in order to prevent him from becoming a small tasty treat. Since the damn dragon spent most of its time in the air, my character, Hrothgar's Lightning Bolt was probably the only attack that made it blink.

After we got smacked around for a while, imurrx feared a TPK (total party kill), and wanted us to retreat. I can't really blame him, but the pure nonproductive asshatery of this gaming session got my dander up, so I really wanted to kill it, even if it meant more casualties.

And naturally, Kramer-san (the DM, MeatLips) wanted to end the fight and the night early, before anything could be concluded. Fuck that nonsense. We kept fighting. Of course, Kramer-san decided to save his stupid dragon with a virtual fucking army of Goblins marching out of the woods. So apparently, the situation was taken out of my hands after all.

We were forced to withdraw. :mad:

I then smartly had Hrothgar cast the Silent Image of a billowing cloud that filled the clearing, and completely shrouded us from view. We then got on our magical horses, and got the fuck outta Dodge.

Game over.

Oh, and lest I forget...here's a list of utterly useless NPC's, that are about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop.

Stupid NPC's

* Lord Jarmath (some douche)
* Lady Varasakal (some chick)
* Captain Lors Uver (some dude)
* Silaria Starsinger (some Elven chick)
* Tudora Goldenbrow (some priestess chick)



Plus, here's a list of monsters and treasure and stuff.

MONSTERS AND TRAPS DEFEATED

* some lame-ass axe trap
* Red Dragon (oh, wait...we didn't beat it)
* a million Goblins (oh, wait...we didn't beat them either)

INVENTORY

ITEM...................................................................VALUE

* Woodsman's Axe.................................more than a nickel

Yes, Kramer.....I'm busting your balls.

what do you mean we ran away? I thought we were still fighting...

you can stay, i'm heading back. I could have made a few potions and  scrolls.  you know... buff'n it up... cuz we are going to get ****** up.

QuoteYes, Kramer.....I'm busting your balls.

I love you too, sweetie pie

Firstly, the axe trap was indeed weak. And it was set off by mutt because he rolled total ass for his 'Disarm Device' skill check.

As for the council part, I did say, since the whining was becoming unbearable, to come up with a brilliant idea and roll an insanely high diplomacy check. Mutt was a few short on that roll too. Also the ideas weren't all that brilliant either.

There were plenty of things you guys could have done, like walk around the town, or do this weird thing called 'Role Playing', instead of whining about not having anything to kill yet.

Hell, I finally even encouraged you to go riding off in search of the Red Hand. Because you guys are so bad-ass, surely a massive army of goblins and other assorted monsters would prove to be little challenge!

Then you started fighting that red dragon. And he issued such a ridiculous beat-down, killed Mutt's dragonelle, and spanked you fellows so hard that he clearly needed the support of the massive horde of goblins that were attracted by his roars.

So I assume that Sac Lamb's list of 'Fuckers I'm Gonna Kill' now contains at least two entries:

GhostLord... for making me piss myself!
Red Dragon Douche... for kicking my ass!

In my own defense, following a module that has no specific methods for handling characters that can do the stuff you guys can do, has been really difficult. It makes assumptions that you guys basically blow out of the water.

I'm doing my best, Sac-Lamb. So EAT ME.

Quote from: MeatLips;320277So EAT ME.

Is that a challenge?

Since we are just a bunch of moolies and retards, perhaps you should have thrown a bone to us, Like, perhaps like, take inventory of the town, or... do a mock invasion and seek out the weekness of the town's deffenses...

but honestly, every time we came up with an idea (and some were dumb), you would occasionally interject "they have taken that inconsiderartion" or, their too stupid and out of their knowlleged.

Honestly the roll playing of the NPC could have been better, in fact, their performance was probably as bad as Kratos dancing in a tutu.

Infact at one point I said, lets go to a tavern, and you asked which one, I said the most seedist one in town, but we were not done with the high council meeting.

So, it was an all around stinkfest from everyone. thats means you too mellon!

Lamb, I may have the answer to our problems.... call me tomorrow evening. It will take a lot of gold and retooling of our guys, but we might be able to really whipe out this army.

Thursday night at my place. Mutt is already in, how bout the rest of you jamokes?

so, is it yes or no for thursday?

I will be there... making some prep stuff..


you know... listing the magic items since you have no internet connection

Sure.

good session last night.

OK... I did some homework and created a google document that will calculate how long it will take to dig a trench around brindol.

I found some texts that actually had numbers how much a man can shovel in various soils. I went with standard earth (since we are in farmland and next to a river), 1000 man army, and I even calculated in breaks.

According to the math, we can dig a 4000 foot long moat that is 30 feet wide and 10 feet deep!

here is the link to the sheet
http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=t4ao2UvVT2CgoH9Co3IZXqg&single=true&gid=1&output=html

OK... try to dispute me!

Ok. Last session, we were trying to think of a way to fortify the town of Brindol. We spoke with Lord Jarmath for a while at a local tavern called the Thirsty Zombie, and proceeded to get piss drunk. They had a "no animals" policy, so Banjo and his canine friend weren't permitted to come inside. Eventually, Hrothgar cast an illusion upon them to make them look like a Gnome named "Bob", in order to sneak them in. That was interesting..

Later, Kratos went wandering around the town with Banjo perched on his shoulder. They examined the walls, searching for weak points in the walls' construction. The rest of us tried to devise a plan to defend the town. I suggested casting multiple Plant Growth spells, and Horatio successfully attempted to created a Scroll of Plant Growth. And so we have a few days to prepare...