so much for chronological order....

Quote from: Mutt;302140so much for chronological order....

Okay, maybe my memory crapped out, and I got things out of order. Next time, I'll write the journal as soon as I return home...

Quote from: Sacrificial Lamb;302407Okay, maybe my memory crapped out, and I got things out of order. Next time, I'll write the journal as soon as I return home...

Must have been all the gas from Testi...

The average fart is about 110ml of gas, and if I farted a super juicy one lets say is was 200ml for argument sake.

so if I farted 200ml of gas and I farted for the 4 hours were there every 5 minutes, that would be about 48, say, 50 farts in the time I was there.

50*200ml=10,000ml or five 2 liter bottles of Coke.

So, I do not think that the gas would pose a threat to you nor your memory.

Hey gang.... think we could play another night this week? I'm practically the only competent douche-bag at my work right now and I've been getting nailed since Sunday, so I haven't had a chance to prepare.

you call that an excuse?

how's thursday.

Quote from: imurrx;303089you call that an excuse?

how's thursday.

That should be fine

Thursday will be fine.

i'll start eating beans  from now.'


So, who will call Sac Lamb?

Someone better, cuz I will be to buzzy to do so. Also, where are we playing, text me with the location.

Quote from: imurrx;303637i'll start eating beans  from now.'


So, who will call Sac Lamb?

Someone better, cuz I will be to buzzy to do so. Also, where are we playing, text me with the location.

Thursday is fine. :raven:

CROW PIE... my favorite!

Quote from: imurrx;303814

CROW PIE... my favorite!

Taste's like chicken

Hi, there.

So we had yet another gaming session last night. Our group followed a small party of Elves and their Giant Owls back to their home, Starsong Hill. We were supposed to meet with their leader in one of their tree houses, but had to climb this rope ladder. However, it required a skill check to climb it, and imurrx kept failing his rolls for Kratos (the Warforged)...miserably. He just kept blowing his skill checks over and over again. It required multiple attempts, but we eventually get his arse up there, while our Elven guide just shook his head, and said incredulously:

"I've never seen anyone have so much trouble with a tree ladder before." :duh:

Finally, we enter the Elven lair, and make contact with a couple of Elven ladies, who seem to be mother and daughter. I'm likely spelling this wrong, but they are Seleria Starsinger, Speaker for the Terrykeetor, and High Singer, Terella Nightshadow. The young one looks like she's been crying. Essentially, we get into a long discussion about what things have happened here, our journey to that place called Rhest, and more. It turns out the younger Elven chick's brother (Lanacari?) was killed by some dude or something.



While this is going on, Mutt's character, Reven, keeps trying to flirt with her, and seduce her and all that. After a while, we're all laughing at Mutt's persistent attempts to get it on with some Elven chicks, and I jokingly say to MeatLips (Senor Kramer):

"Dude, I think we're gonna need a lot more sluts in this campaign." :emot_haw:

Come to think of it....Conan, the Barbarian got plenty of babes. Maybe Reven's just tryin' to follow his example.

Well, anyway....after MeatLips's stunning dialogue, the seed of an idea grows in my brain. What if......we use an incantation to summon the spirit of that Elven chick's dear, departed brother, and bring him back amongst the land of the living?? :eek:

As soon as I brought this up, everyone stops in their tracks, and then breaks out laughing. Nobody said it, but I could practically hear the words, "oh, shit!" emanating from the room.

This proposition obviously caught the DM off-guard, but he was willing to roll with it. Mutt wanted us to cast the incantation here in the village. He figured that if something went wrong, we'd have an entire village to back us up. imurrx wanted us to hold off on casting it until we arrived in Rhest. Then, if we returned to the village with the Elven dude (Lanacari, I think) at our side, we'd be received as heroes, and have statues made in our likeness and all that shit. Mutt kept saying, "yes, do it", and imurrx was like, "no, don't do it". This went on for a while until I decided, "to heck with it, I'm doin' it". The vote is two against one, in favor of casting it. It's decided.

The incantation we decided to cast was Hrothgar's Spirit Summoning. It's described in the first post on this very thread. Incantations are a variant set of rules introduced in Unearthed Arcana, and it provides an opportunity for wizards and non-wizards alike to perform magical rituals which have a wide variety of effects. The only problem is that they take much longer to cast than most spells, and can have dangerous side effects.

We didn't wish to alert our Elven hosts with our use of "black magic", so we performed the incantation in secret, and then....



....I'll finish the rest later on tonight. Yes, I'm a bastard.

.....continued from before.

We didn't wish to alert our Elven hosts with our use of "black magic", so we performed the incantation in secret. Alchemical concoctions were prepared, and then Hrothgar, Reven, and Horatio began chanting the incantation. Banjo waited outside of the tent to keep an eye on things, and Kratos stood guard over us, in case anything went wrong.

Well, guess what? Things went wrong. :duh:

If you're not familiar with the incantation rules, they work like this. Incantations are like spells, except that they require the use of skill checks, and many of them have nasty side-effects. So there's a risk. Incantations require a number of successes, usually between six and nine, depending upon its power. If you fail two skill checks in a row, the incantation fails.

In this case, imurrx's streak of bad luck continued to the nth degree. With all his modifiers, all he needed to roll was a 6 or higher on a d20. That's it. I begged imurrx to use my dice. I practically threw my dice at him, because I suddenly sensed something bad was about to happen, but he stubbornly refused. Instead, he used his own cursed dice...:rant:

Needless to say, his rolls were terrible. Not only did he manage three more shitty rolls, but the DM was generous enough to allow him a reroll (a fourth roll) with one of my dice, and he still blew it. I think he rolled a 5 or lower about 7 times that night, if we include his failed attempts to climb that rope ladder. How is that humanly possible? How?! :confused:

Okay. So we fail, and we are considerably weakened by the casting of the incantation. Instead of bringing back the spirit of the Elf that died, we unintentionally summon an undead monster from somewhere beyond the grave; in this case, a Shadow.

Reven breathes a gout of fire upon it from within the narrow confines of the tent (with no effect), while Kratos once again earns his keep, and mulches it with his sword. Thanks, Kratos.

Strangely enough, that might have been imurrx's only good roll for the entire night.....

We narrowly avoid getting charred as we extricate ourselves from the folds of the burning tent. Some of the Elves run over to see what all the ruckus is. When this happens, Mutt looks over at us, and calmly says:

"I'll handle this."

Elf Dude: "Say! What happened here?!"
Reven: "I sneezed."
Elf Dude: "You sneezed?!"
Reven: "Yep. I breathe fire, and sometimes that happens."
Elf Dude: "You breathe fire?!"
Reven: "Yeah."

After this, Reven wasn't allowed to sleep inside a tent.

The next day, we began our journey, traveling by boat....and reached the waterlogged ruins of.....Rhest? At least, I think we got there, and that's where the session ended.

MONSTERS DEFEATED

* Shadow (1)

Not to see that we could have been run out of town because someone in our party breaths fire, that could be blamed on witchcraft or even sourcery.

lets say we were lucky.

btw Horatio's rolls were 5,15,1,2 and a 5 for the bonus. Let's say they were as stinky as my son's diaper. Sad thing I had a +16 to suceed too.