Hey all. This is my first post on these forums. I have spent a good deal of time reading through posts and checking out the things people have to say and it seems like a nice place.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone would be interested in offering any advice or criticism on my game that I am tentatively calling Short Sword. Here is the link to the pdf...

The initial goal was to create a full rpg in a single page. Im not sure if that goal is still as strong as it was... What I would really like to do is create pocket sized editions (that people could download as pdf and print and fold to make there own booklets). These are the core rules as they stand. The game requires only six-sided dice...

Ok, what would you say sets this apart from the Microlite games or RISUS?

Really, Microlite, while rules lite is not really lite as it still depends on lists of spells and monster stats and treasure tables... From what I have seen.

I think my system is more similar to Risus than Microlite. I guess it shares large similarities with Risus and Microlite since it was designed in that rpg lite aspect. My goal, and what I hoped was different than games like Risus and Microlite, was that the game was a single page. The simplicity of the monster and spell creation was designed to allow players and GMs to create on the fly. For example, a goblin could be a weak or moderate tier monster. The stats are already done, the GM just comes up with the goblin attributes - the way a goblin works.

There is no need for a bestiary with Short Sword, unless you wanted to make specific monsters with specific attributes and personalities which needed describing. The same is true of spells. I wanted to try and create a system that was open enough for most anything while retaining a degree of balance.

Your question makes me think that on a first glance or read through that you did not see many differences, or at least nothing that would make my game stand out. Which could be a problem - for me and my design.

One thing I was hoping that would set it apart would be the setting. The one page of core rules is all mechanics and almost no setting. The setting is in the works - probably 1 page as well...

Any suggestions as to how to make this something more unique? I understand that rule lite will almost always be compared with Risus or Micro, but if this was your system, what would you do to make it stand apart?

Quote from: Dirk;495922Hey all. This is my first post on these forums. I have spent a good deal of time reading through posts and checking out the things people have to say and it seems like a nice place.

lies!

Quote from: Dirk;495930The simplicity of the monster and spell creation was designed to allow players and GMs to create on the fly. For example, a goblin could be a weak or moderate tier monster. The stats are already done, the GM just comes up with the goblin attributes - the way a goblin works.

Here's where you loose me.  I don't want to have to make up stuff for spells and monsters on the fly (especially spells!).  

Using your system to generate bog-standard monsters seems like it would work fine, but what about monsters with special abilities?  I don't see how the system you've outlined would handle that in a satisfactory way, for me.

QuoteYour question makes me think that on a first glance or read through that you did not see many differences, or at least nothing that would make my game stand out. Which could be a problem - for me and my design.

Here's the thing: there are a lot of free systems out there.  This really isn't that different, mechanically-speaking, than a bunch of rules I've seen on blogs and forum posts.

Another thing that jumped out at me: for a rules-lite game there are far too many rolls in combat.  Attacker, defender, damage, and armor?  For each attack?  Not lite enough for me.

QuoteOne thing I was hoping that would set it apart would be the setting. The one page of core rules is all mechanics and almost no setting. The setting is in the works - probably 1 page as well...

Ok, what will the setting be like?  Maybe tailor the rules to emulate the setting's genre?

I think this needs to be more than a page with some examples (as well as character sheet). I like games with broad rules that can be applied to specific situations (for example your spell system doesn't give me an issue) but you should elaborate more on how this might work in practice. I just gave it a quick once over. Has this been playtested? Until you playtest extensively you won't see all the spots the game fails to cover (misterguignol raised a good point about monsters). One thing I would like to see is a flavor explanation for the spells working the way they do. I think you should also crunch the numbers and hammer out the chances of success and failure.

In terms of how it stacks up against other systems (which guignol also pointed out) there are two options: play every rules lite game you can and add some new twist that sets your game apart, or don't worry about that just make the game you want to play and if innovation happens, great, if not, no big deal. Sometimes the later will lead you in unexpected outside the box directions even if you don't realize it.

Thanks for the great feedback.

I think I want to make the game fairly brutal. A dark world where PCs battle hordes of monsters in order to gain status, prestige, and eventually immortality. I agree about the monster rules working for generic monsters, but special monsters, boss type monsters and what not will need some more fleshing out. Also, someone suggested spell flavors and I think that to is a good call.

I have playtested the basic system, combat and leveling and skill usage and it seems pretty balanced. While the combat has several rolls, it still moves fairly smooth.

I'm thinking that what will make this stand out will be the utter brutality of combat. I am going to implement a hit system in which hits are taken with the possibility or leading to an increase in wound levels which will be devastating.

I suppose the one page premise has long been killed as I want this to be something very different.

Ill post up some revisions on combat and other systems and see what's up.