Nobody gives a fuck.  Seriously.

Once you've written a game we'll talk.  Until then save your breath and, more importantly, our time.  You have an entire thread full of people saying "JUST WRITE THE STUPID THING" and you continue to yodel in angst-filled hand wringing.

Shut up, go away, and write.  Nobody fucking cares about your writer's block.

Quote from: Old Geezer;767312Nobody gives a fuck.  Seriously.

Once you've written a game we'll talk.  Until then save your breath and, more importantly, our time.  You have an entire thread full of people saying "JUST WRITE THE STUPID THING" and you continue to yodel in angst-filled hand wringing.

Shut up, go away, and write.  Nobody fucking cares about your writer's block.

You know what?
Of course you don't, you don't even care.
You haven't even, as far as I know, bothered looking at the link on "Ferals" in my signature.

Well, I write this here because I feel I have to, and I can't afford listening to people like you who understands nothing.
Yes, exactly, I can't afford listening to people like you ...
Sheesh, perhaps that's were I went wrong all the time, perhaps I shouldn't bother making the game complete, just playable.

Oh, and if you want harsh language, well, I like a lot of your comments and opinions, but in this case, I just say Fuck You.
Heh, that's oddly liberating.

.... I'll try keep these kinds of replies to a minimum, to be on the safe side.

Quote from: Catelf;767327I shouldn't bother making the game complete, just playable.

Most intelligent thing you've said so far.

Quote from: Catelf;767327Fuck You.

Second most intelligent thing you've said so far.

Now stop crying and write the fucking game.

Gosh.

Quote from: Old Geezer;767343Most intelligent thing you've said so far.

Then check out the link in my signature, since that technically IS playable, but not complete, unless you already have, and say what you think.

Quote from: Catelf;767372Then check out the link in my signature, since that technically IS playable, but not complete, unless you already have, and say what you think.

Okay.

I read the first page.  I couldn't read any further.

You need a good editor.  Don't feel bad, virtually all writers do.  But you have misplaced punctuation, subject/verb disagreement, and poor syntax.  I honestly couldn't continue.

Also, what is "Streed Core?"

Shocking to think that one should be so bold as to post a draft of their ideas for a game on a design, development, and game play forum.  It's not like Catelf is pitching their ideas as the great revolution that will bury D&D for all time.  Heck even I don't do that, think it maybe

Odd question, beyond the basic reality that smileys are bad grammar from the outset, is there a standard as to whether they take the place of a period at the end of a sentence or are supplemental to it?

Okay, I've skimmed over it.  I'll assume this is a draft outline to get the concept down and codified rather than being intended as a polished release of the rules.

So, I won't suggest an editor but I will suggest a style guide or a Cliff's Notes on grammar and punctuation.  Don't feel bad, it's just something that takes some work to get to a professional level.

Thus far your game reminds me of Palladium's efforts.  Lots of wild ideas welded to whatever mechanics come to hand.  That's not a problem if you can pull it off.  It sounds a bit like TMNT meets cyber errr rock.  If you want lots of free publicity from TBP put in lots of pictures of ridiculously big breasted furries in submissive poses with over sized weapons and bad anatomy whatever that means in the context of a furry.  If you want some really meta parody you could use photographs of stuffed animals with sunglasses, bandoliers and guns just to mock Cyberpunk 3rd edition.

Seriously though, if you do it wrong enough you might get enough outrage on TBP to get some sales.  Keep it in mind that the guys who did FATAL made money and T5's trade sales were well beyond expectations due to the outrage of guys like Shawn Driscoll.

Quote from: Old Geezer;767469Okay.

I read the first page.  I couldn't read any further.

You need a good editor.  Don't feel bad, virtually all writers do.  But you have misplaced punctuation, subject/verb disagreement, and poor syntax.  I honestly couldn't continue.

Also, what is "Streed Core?"

I'll see if I can clean it up, I used to be good at grammar, but that was in Swedish, and even there I often go "talking grammar" more often today.

"Streed" is the name I have noted for the Game System (Like D20, Storytelling system, and such.)
Core is that it is the System's Core Rules.

Quote from: Catelf;767491I'll see if I can clean it up, I used to be good at grammar, but that was in Swedish, and even there I often go "talking grammar" more often today.

"Streed" is the name I have noted for the Game System (Like D20, Storytelling system, and such.)
Core is that it is the System's Core Rules.

Thanks for letting me know you're not a native English speaker.  I will judge your writing a little less harshly in that case.

Quote from: David Johansen;767475Shocking to think that one should be so bold as to post a draft of their ideas for a game on a design, development, and game play forum.  It's not like Catelf is pitching their ideas as the great revolution that will bury D&D for all time.  Heck even I don't do that, think it maybe

Odd question, beyond the basic reality that smileys are bad grammar from the outset, is there a standard as to whether they take the place of a period at the end of a sentence or are supplemental to it?

Okay, I've skimmed over it.  I'll assume this is a draft outline to get the concept down and codified rather than being intended as a polished release of the rules.

So, I won't suggest an editor but I will suggest a style guide or a Cliff's Notes on grammar and punctuation.  Don't feel bad, it's just something that takes some work to get to a professional level.

Thus far your game reminds me of Palladium's efforts.  Lots of wild ideas welded to whatever mechanics come to hand.  That's not a problem if you can pull it off.  It sounds a bit like TMNT meets cyber errr rock.  If you want lots of free publicity from TBP put in lots of pictures of ridiculously big breasted furries in submissive poses with over sized weapons and bad anatomy whatever that means in the context of a furry.  If you want some really meta parody you could use photographs of stuffed animals with sunglasses, bandoliers and guns just to mock Cyberpunk 3rd edition.

Seriously though, if you do it wrong enough you might get enough outrage on TBP to get some sales.  Keep it in mind that the guys who did FATAL made money and T5's trade sales were well beyond expectations due to the outrage of guys like Shawn Driscoll.

Actually, I used to think my game system was the_best_EVER! .... but I don't think that any longer.
Now I just think it is the best game system I know of for my intentions:
As fast and quick character creation, game rules and combat as possible, without removing the choice that comes with games like most White Wolf or Palladium games.


Ah, smilies in main text ... I guess they sometimes replaces the period and sometimes don't ... I know, it is another grammar flaw: Lacking coherency.

Draft outline, yes, it was also so I would at least have something to show, that could be commented on, playtested, and criticized.
However, with the influx from Old Geezer that made me say "Fuck You" to him, it is possible I won't aim for polishing nor adding to it much (even though it do lack several sections I intended to put in).

It do seem I will have to brush up on my grammar more.


I like several of the concepts used in Palladiums Heroes Unlimited and TMNT, but I also really dislike their basic rules, and I hate their alignment system.
I'm more fond of "The Storytelling System" for those things.

I like your "errr rock" thing, it means you got my point with the "Creed" in the beginning.
^_^
.... And I absolutely hate the overuse of big breasts in furry art ... XD
Besides, i'm more into fully covering, shiny outfits ... but that might work as well ... IF I was aiming for selling through sex and/or outrage, which i'm really not.

And I know "Bad Anatomy" and plan to avoid it (I comment on the site "Esher girls" occasionally, trying to point out when something is just "impractical" instead of "impossible", there are (sadly)enough examples of bad anatomy as it is without saying something is when it isn't ... and it is often bad positioning too).

..Photos of stuffed animals in sunglasses with weapons ... :teehee:
I might use it as a joke, but parody is not my aim either.


Lastly, my intention is for this game to be free, no cost except what you get for printing the PDF.

Quote from: Old Geezer;767493Thanks for letting me know you're not a native English speaker.  I will judge your writing a little less harshly in that case.

Besides, you said you just read the first page, do you refer to the page with Thank You's?

If you do, then that one is admittedly less professionally made, like an impromptu thank you - speech.
It is also possible I might keep it like that, for that reason.

Quote from: Catelf;767523Besides, you said you just read the first page, do you refer to the page with Thank You's?

If you do, then that one is admittedly less professionally made, like an impromptu thank you - speech.
It is also possible I might keep it like that, for that reason.

No, the Thank Yous are okay because the informal tone is okay for that.

It's the next page, the "Creed" and the "world overview."

I'd suggest perhaps getting someone to help with grammar and punctuation, but as I said you get bonus points as a non native English speaker.

Also, before that page I'd like to see a one page "Why should I bother?"  -- a straightforward, almost businesslike single page summary of why this game is better than, oh, adapting the D&D rules on lycanthropes, or doing it in Hero system.  What do your rules give me that no other rules out there give?  And more specific than "fits the setting."  Tell me why, in matter of fact tones, I should read this instead of just cobbling up my own rules.

Quote from: Old Geezer;767701No, the Thank Yous are okay because the informal tone is okay for that.

It's the next page, the "Creed" and the "world overview."

I'd suggest perhaps getting someone to help with grammar and punctuation, but as I said you get bonus points as a non native English speaker.

Also, before that page I'd like to see a one page "Why should I bother?"  -- a straightforward, almost businesslike single page summary of why this game is better than, oh, adapting the D&D rules on lycanthropes, or doing it in Hero system.  What do your rules give me that no other rules out there give?  And more specific than "fits the setting."  Tell me why, in matter of fact tones, I should read this instead of just cobbling up my own rules.

Essentially, you'd consider it a good idea for me to add a variant of this:

Quote from: Catelf;767517Actually, I used to think my game system was the_best_EVER! .... but I don't think that any longer.
Now I just think it is the best game system I know of for my intentions:
As fast and quick character creation, game rules and combat as possible, without removing the choice that comes with games like most White Wolf or Palladium games.

...and that I expanded upon it.
(Like that it is made simple to be easier to handle for newcomers as well as those feeling other games are too complex or clumsy for their taste.)
.. The problem is, there isn't much to expand there, I think.

There is also the point that I present it, and i'm frankly not a sales-pitch type, nor do I want to be one.
Sure, I want it to get attention, and I even seem to have more confidence in the system than in myself, but mentioning its good points is ... what I wrote above, i.e. the quote and the parenthesis.
I doubt there is more to add.
Also saying why it is great in its own section seems to be info more directed towards already-players like you.

It feels like it would be better to bake it into other sections ... but I may be wrong.

Important Lessons:

1) Read. Read things that inspire you. Read things that challenge you. Read, Read Read.

2) Write. Write a lot. Come back and write more.


P.S We all need editors. So bear that in mind.

Quote from: Silverlion;767901Important Lessons:

1) Read. Read things that inspire you. Read things that challenge you. Read, Read Read.

2) Write. Write a lot. Come back and write more.


P.S We all need editors. So bear that in mind.

Thank you

It took a while until I felt I could write more, even here.
(Getting into a perhaps severe disagreement with Old Geezer over religious matters in a different thread didn't exactly help either, I think ...)
But now I have more to write:

I have decided to shift focus for now, from Ferals to the Basic Rules, since I anyway have decided to bother on making the game playable, rather than complete.
Sure, the PDF on Ferals in the link to Mediafire is already playable, but it has some glitches and needs grammar correction, so while doing that, it is just as well to fix other things too.

The basic rules will first describe how to make a basic human Player Character.
After that part, I will add other sections focussing on how to add anthro animals (other than humans ), Bionics, Magic, and so on.

That is the current idea, at least.

I haven't uploaded the revisions to Mediafire yet, but I have done some corrections that will be visible in the next upload I do.

...Perhaps I should upload it already ...