It's really part 2, but part 1 was a diceless "character creation through story" session that I haven't written up.

The band has escaped the clutches of Braintec and, at the urgings of a strange Jamaican they met on the road, stopped to speak with a one-eyed man. The man, Mr. Wednesday, said they were meant to meet earlier, and that he had a job for them. He could pay them in information about how to get their memories back, if they would protect an heiress for him.

He was very circumspect about the job, not saying who she was, "for privacy" until they'd agreed. But he did assure them that there would be nothing illegal involved, a claim which everyone but Jack believed (Jack having spent willpower to resist God's Honest). When the bargain was sealed by a round of mead from the back, Mr. Wednesday produced a dossier on the woman to be protected: Miss Paris Hilton.

They took turns looking through the printouts, and Jack realized that this must be a pretty intelligent woman. After all, she was a very successful businesswoman, and had even managed to earn hundreds of thousands of dollars on a porn video then claim she'd never received it but would donate it to charity if she did. The rest of the band was a bit more skeptical. But in any case, they were off to Beverly Hills with just a stolen Studebaker and a little bit of seed money from Wednesday to get them started. He's gotten them into a posh party being thrown by Dion, a man whose business it is to rent out his home and give the elite the times of their lives.

In Los Angeles they pick up some cell phones and new clothes from Wal-Mart, as well as a little bit of ammo for the guns they took during their escape. There's a couple of days to spend before the party at Dion's. Jewls spends the time thumbing through Good Will and the Salvation Army, and finds himself an outfit so vintage it's futuristic. Jim watches E! and Hollywood today, familiarizing himself with botht he target and the lifestyle. Jack watches a lot of TV, and stays inside for the most part. Gunther finds the address of a game room online that pays in cash instead of products, and heads that way convinced he can hack the video poker systems and make a fast buck. An hour later his $40 seed money is gone and he returns to the library to search the net for another quick cash option. A few people are looking for manual laborers, but he's not that desperate yet.

Finally the day of the party arrives, and they clunk into the driveway in their Studebaker. The gaurd is cautious, but they're on the list so they're let in. There isn't much going on yet, so they hang out. Jack spends his time by the food table until Dion comes to him and explains that his outfit simply will not do. He's taken back to a room the size of a warehouse and shown a rack of clothes his size. He picks an outfit and returns to the party looking more stylish than ever.

Jewls notices a man watching Paris from afar, who appears to be uncomfortable in his fancy clothes. He points him out to Jim, who also keeps an eye on him. Jack, meanwhile, has walked over to the couch and is peering under it, trying to find the source of the strange heat haze. (he botched his perception, so I ran with another player's suggestion from earlier in the session that the punch had been spiked)

Meanwhile Gunther has also ingratiated himself with the group and learned quite a bit from Stacey's boyfriend, a guy whose sole purpose in life appears to be to get Stacey a drink when she's thirsty, a stay out of the way the rest of the time. But as he says, "it pays the bills."

Suddenly the door bursts open and police are flooding the living room. Dion, annoyed but unsurprised, remains lounging amidst his piles of pillows, but orders his joygirls to go submit to the DEA's drug tests. Agents House and Road are using what looks like diabetes finger-prickers to test the party-goers for a new experimental drug they've been told is here.

Paris is outraged, and Jim slides over to join her cause. Gunther puts up a small bit of resistance and is thrown to the ground by an officer. But he manages to land with such style and grace that he impresses Katie and has himself an in into the group later. (that's right, I asked for an Appearance + Brawl roll )

Jewls, his eye on the uncomfortable man with the stalker vibe, sees him walking across the room. Through the crowd he glimpses a syringe palmed in the man's hand. He warns Jim, who calls out a warning to everyone and the man is stopped. Agent House pulls him by the shoulder into a back room and the drug tets continue.

Paris gives in before being arrested, and comes out clean. The tests quickly wind down and everyone leaves. Jim heads down the hallway where House and the stranger went, and overhears the two talking about how the stranger failed in his mission, and the higher ups don't like failure. House is talked into covering for the failure, and they step back out of the hall. Jim pretends to be leaving the bathroom, and the Agent grabs the stranger by the shoulder roughly as soon as he sees he is being watched. The two leave out the front door and the party starts up again.

Jim and Gunther move into Paris's clique, pushing two of the other boytoys, and eventually the group leaves for the Fluffy Lion: an IHOP bought out and re-envisioned as a techno pancake house. As part of his ongoing social statement, Gunther orders crepes and does not eat them. Soon the depth of his thought is infectuous and everyone is ordering crepes and poking at them until they're cold.

Eventually everyone is ready for the night to end and Paris invites Jim home with her. She explains in no uncertain terms that she's celibate, and he'll be sleeping on the couch, but that she wouldn't mind more company. "It's sexier when a girl is flirty but she doesn't do anything."

He takes her up on the offer while Gunther snags Katie's number. Out in the parking lot, Jack has followed them in the studebaker. Everyone but Jim meets back up at the hotel.

Here's the second installment that covers Friday's session. There should be one more short one after this. I'm also compiling it into a newsletter format like I did with my Exalted campaign, and will post a link to that once it's ready. As with the Exalted Campaign, those updates will also contain information about important NPCs, links the players may be interested in, and more. The idea was taken from this article.

The next morning, Paris is in a tizzy. She's just heard on the news that there are illiterate children in Africa, and she's desperate to help them. She wakes Jim and enlists his help. Her plan: donate a ton of old Style and People magazines to the local library.

Jim heads upstairs and starts to help Paris load boxes, then sees that she has several filing cabinets full of magazines, all cross referenced by celebrity and flagged for any mentions of her.

Moments later he's on the phone. "Gunther, spiritual Emergency. We gotta teach the kids to read." In no time they're at the library. Jewls has planted a story at The Post to help keep Paris in the news,  and they head to the library. Jack stays behind.

They walk into the library in time to catch the tail end of a meeting between the librarian at the door and an Agent. The librarian's name plate reads Mr. Ibis.

Mr. Tree is busy sternly trying to intimidate Mr. Ibis, who stands by calmly. "Sir, I hope you understand that you can't make it alone anymore. Look out there," he waves towards the giant glass doors, "this is the world of the new. There's a storm coming, and it pays to have a Tree to shelter you."

"Sir, I would as soon show you my puffy red hindquarters as join you," replies the unflappable librarian. Meanwhile, he never stops writing in a spiral notebook, nor does he look away from Tree. As one notebook is filled, it is put away in his desk and another withdrawn to take its place. The strong and perfectly legible script extols the story of a boy who goes hunting with naught but a sling shot and cherry pits, but loses his elk after one shot fails to kill it.

As they come in, Tree notices them. When he is unable to persuade Mr. Ibis, the Agent turns away. He speaks several times under his breath, cupping his hand over his ear in true Secret Service fashion, but the band doesn't let that worry them. Kids gotta read!

Paris is partway through handing over the magazines when two more Agents show up. Mr. House, recognized from the party, and Mr. Cart. They attempt to arrest the group, focusing primarily on Paris. When questioned they insist that it is a confidential matter of national security, and a fight breaks out as the bodyguards resist.

There is a fight and Hilton escapes, fleeing with Jack who comes in response to a text message from Jim. Unfortunately the message was forcibly truncated when the Agent noticed Jim texting in his pocket, and only "I think we are being" made it through. It was enough though, and Jack comes a runnin'.

Jewls flees the scene, and the agents let him go. He leaps on a bus and escapes. Jim is shot, and limps into the library looking for Hilton. He struggles a little bit more to give her time to vamoose, and is then arrested alongside Gunther.

Jim and Gunther are taken to a remote concrete building outside of L.A. and interrogated. Gunther tells them everything he knows about Wednesday, but holds back everything else. Jim manages to completely clamp down on his responses, and tells them nothing they can use.

Meanwhile Jewls tries to call Jim and Gunther. An Agent answers both times.

Jack gets Paris to turn herself in publicly, keeping her in the public eye and the public legal system. He doesn't turn himself in though, slipping out the back during the press conference.

As he wanders through the streets, he stops into a Sears to watch the press conference on TV. When he does, the channel changes to I Love Lucy, and Lucille Ball starts talking to him. He looks around and sees nobody else near, and has a conversation. Apparently the television doesn't like Paris being famous, and wants her silenced, with or without violence. Jack freaks out and starts walking back to Oregon.

Paris is released that next Monday, and a stolen vehicle plows through her yard. It blows up long before reaching the front door, as a shocked Jewls flees. He is caught in the blast and nearly killed, but heads for the hills to hide.

Having failed with the attempt on Jack, the television next contacts Jewls, this time in the guise of Gomer Pyle on Andy Griffith. Jewls doesn't respond as drastically, but does not agree to help. The television gives him the name of a doctor at the county clinic and says to tell the man that she sent him, and that his wounds would be tended to.

Jewls opts to instead go into hiding and try an internet campaign to keep Paris active and have her fans protest her trial and treatment.

It must be because I never read American Gods but not only did that make no sense to me at all, but it somehow made me want to back away vvvveeeerrrrryyyy ssssllllooooowwwwwllllllllyyyyy from my copy of Scion... before running for the hills from it.

In other words:


Man, What?!

This is definitely not a standard Scion game. For starters, they're mortals, at least so far. Also, the pantheons are all out of whack.

It's also not exactly American Gods. I'm using the same cosmology, but a completely different story.

Finally, I added Paris Hilton to the mix, and so all the wackiness from that point forward falls on my doorstep. But we laughed our asses off left and right, so it's all good.

Part 3. Or, if you want it in it's original form (complete with blurbs about legends, NPCs, and more) grab it from here.

In the heart of the DEA compound, Jim is visited by Charles Emerson Winchester III while watching an episode of M*A*S*H. TV explains to him the situation, its desires in regards to Paris, and offers the same deal it has offered everyone else. Jim beats around the bush a little, then requests time to think.

The next day Gunther is visited. He's watching an old Jean Claude Van Damme flick in his cell when the Muscles from Brussels stops after a fight and breaks the fourth wall to talk to him. Gunther agrees to help in exchange for his freedom, and is given a moment to try to talk Jim into joining him, but fails.

Gunther heads to Paris's house and finds the scorched Jewls hanging around across the street, under the watchful eye of  security guard. He calls and is let in, walking past the scorched grounds to Paris's front door.

It doesn't take him long to convince Paris to go to Africa with him, "for the children." He assures her they'll be back in time for her court date, and can film a documentary about it. He hopes to satisfy both TV and Wednesday by this compromise, but their desires are in opposition, so it will take a steady hand to thread this particular needle.

When we leave them, our erstwhile adventurers have split up.
• Jim Barbeaux is still in his cell, hoping to wait out the storm without having to give the television an answer.
• Jack Miller is on foot, walking back to Oregon. What he plans to do once there is unsure.
• Gunther Koikkalainen has convinced Paris to fund their flight to Africa, and must slip out of the country.
• Jewls Kertchfer is sleeping in alleys and sneaking into internet cafes when he can, trying to keep Paris in the news. He has leaked Gunther's intentions to the press, setting a sea of journalistic sharks into the waters in search of celebrity blood.