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[Derelict Delvers] Rough Draft Page 1

Started by Silverlion, July 09, 2009, 08:16:18 AM

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Silverlion

July 09, 2009, 08:16:18 AM
Take a look! This is unedited page 1, just to see what I can do to get a decent non-plain text look for the playtest draft, and trying out my pretend this is real "voice."

http://www.scribd.com/doc/17226435/Derelict-Delvers-Prelude-1
High Valor REVISED: A fantasy Dark Age RPG. Available NOW!
Hearts & Souls 2E Coming in 2019

Spinachcat

#1
July 10, 2009, 02:23:35 AM
I don't know how much or how little you care about political correctness, but instead of shooting Indians and Africans, maybe try Bank Robbers and Martians.

Not a bad first draft - gets the points across, but isn't on fire yet.  I like the reference to CRPGs to help noobs understand.   Feel free to ham it up more with this being the 4th edition.   Maybe I have an odd sense of humor, but the M&M "first RPG in 1972" thing is funny to me.   Also, I enjoy the "why stuff is in the game" explanations in the sidebars.   Unsure about Blue/White being good for printing though.

Looking forward to Delver magazine!  A quarterly?

Jollification?

Silverlion

#2
July 16, 2009, 04:03:39 AM Last Edit: July 16, 2009, 04:07:45 AM by Silverlion
Most likely and yes your probably right--albeit I thought I had the cowboy getting shot..:D

I'm not sure about printing blue either but this is a playtest draft layout. I imagine the actual true layout will be done by a professional. Or me trying to learn Indesign yet again.  


Delver will be a quarterly magazine once we launch, and will be very low end on the bells and whistles, and expense. I imagine I'll do some horrid covers and make it free. I'd be glad of course to include material for other old-school SF games. (Dave Bezio's X-plorers for example.)


As for jollification, I'm trying to exert my Gygaxian verbal prowess. (It is a word :D)
High Valor REVISED: A fantasy Dark Age RPG. Available NOW!
Hearts & Souls 2E Coming in 2019
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