#9 (What # are you up to?): A giant, robotic spider with the preserved head of Bea Arthur crashes through a wall, singing her song from the Cha'alt Yu'ul-Tithe Special. She will leap onto and try to pin one of the PCs, attempting arachnid-robotic fornication. The PC gets advantage on rolls to escape if he/she severs one of their own limbs to escape, much like a trapped animal. If unable to escape, in 1d4 days the PC will hatch 1d100 tiny robotic spiders with tiny human heads. The player must choose for their character to have either permanent arachnophobia or an arachnophilia fetish.

#10?: A humanoid NPC villain flips open a chunky wrist gadget and is immediately clothed in a spandex, vaguely spider-reminiscent costume that flies through the air and somehow dresses this person. "Supa'aidaman" has the proprtionate strength of a spider, cannot be surpised, can shoot a viscous substance (heh) that's really, REALLY sticky, climb on any surface, and can also ride a motorcycle or giant transformable mecha because.. Japan.

https://i.imgur.com/2i0YnKm.gif

11) One giant, female, fuchsia-furred spider performs a mating ritual involving eviscerated humanoids, arachnoid glyphs, and banana peels.  Moments later, an even bigger, male and extremely horny, chartreuse-furred spider climbs out of an interdimensional portal.  He hands out blindfolds for everyone else in the room since he doesn't want to be watched while he gets down to biz-niz.

Those banana peels could be the remants of the male spider's Banana Men fluffers. These spiders waste nothing. They are committed to sustainability and are members of the MELLVOD (Make Everything Look Like Venus Once Did) movement.

Quote from: RoJoGamer on February 15, 2024, 01:50:58 PM
Those banana peels could be the remants of the male spider's Banana Men fluffers. These spiders waste nothing. They are committed to sustainability and are members of the MELLVOD (Make Everything Look Like Venus Once Did) movement.

12) Banana-men fluffers exit their own personal transdimensional portals in order to jack-off all the giant, horny spiders hiding in the shadows with their greasy, slick, banana-peel hands and/or tentacles.

13) Banana-men slaves and even a few anti-slavery spiders are protesting, the most prominent hold-up signs with MELLNVOD on them (Make Everything Look Like New-Venus Once Did)... harkening back to when New-Venus didn't have the draconian slavery laws implemented only a decade ago.

14) A sky-elf artisan is selling custom-made worm-skin condoms to New-Venusian spiders so they don't get the female humanoid population of Cha'alt pregnant with half-spider babies.  They sky-elf is wearing a t-shirt that reads, "I blast cactus-folk on sight."  [cactus-folk easily poke holes in worm-skin condoms, rendering them useless]

15) What appears to be a large spider drops from the ceiling. It is actually a very lithe and athletic elf woman with Mummenschanzarachnia. She believes herself to be a spider, and performs a bizarre dance resembling the movements of a spider. She will attempt to eat any large insects or "web them," which is really just her golden showering any small target. If she can be cured of her dementia, she will make a very competent, very bendy companion.

---

16) A gym bag reeking of stale sweat, bleach and graham crackers is found nearby. It contains: several very dry washcloths that appear stuck together; a Spinner Video store membership card bearing the name Harry Spiedermann; a VHS copy of the X-rated feature, "Little Miss Muff-It;" a worn, dogeared copy of "Eight-Legged Show" (a stroke mag for spider leg fetishists); and a pair of steel gray Crocs of spider climbing. These allow the wearer to walk on and cling to any surface, but bestows no benefit if the wearer wears socks with their Crocs.

17) A robed priest enters the room, raises a hand to give the sign of the horns, and says... "The spider jizz must flow!"  At that point, the PCs can hear the sounds of rushing water.

18) A giant new-Venusian spider exits a portal and starts jacking it in full view of the PCs.

19) A dirty and disheveled vagrant shows up and gives a chilling message in a strange, reverberating voice:
"I've got a message for you, and you're not going to like it."
The man's filthy overcoat opens to reveal many hundreds of spiders as he speaks again.
"Pray for death!"
The man's head falls off, and his body starts coming apart, as if consumed by, or composed of spiders, who eventually scuttle away. Only a pool of filthy spider ejaculate remains.

20) The PCs are instantly transported to a small pocket dimension. They see a large male drider in garish women's club clothing, twerking and reciting stories to a group of terrified children kept captive in a web. This creature is Lewdth*, Demon Drag Queen of Darkness.

* The name "Lewdth" is pronounced by making a retching sound, as if you vomited in your mouth a little bit out of pure revulsion.

Bro, I need you at this year's VENGER CON...

Thanks! I'm already booked! We need to find more demented souls. Scour the web!

21) One of the PCs can now shoot organic webbing. However, the character's new spinneret organs are located slightly above the buttocks, requiring the character to drop drawers and fire backwards. There is a bondage shop located in A'agrybah that sells assless chaps that would be ideal for this purpose.

22) The party is attacked by humanoids wearing hooded, waterproof ponchos, armed with Supersoaker rifles filled with warm spider splooge. These attacks only do 1 point of damage on a hit, but the attackers make called shots to the face and yell, "MONEY SHOT!" A successful called shot also causes disadvantage to the victim for 1d4 rounds due to sticky eyelids. There is a 50% chance someone is recording this and will upload images and video to Pa'anhub or zHamster.

23) The party discovers a wall mural or carvings similar to the Nazca line spider image on Earth. However, the image here clearly depicts the spider as having a giant dong that is being fellated by an eager stick figure person.

24) One of the PCs somehow becomes fused with four mechanical appendages that may be controlled. The character can now lift 4X as much, gets extra attacks [GM discretion] and can wipe in the bathroom while performing other tasks.

25) A pale, bald humanoid wearing a black raincoat with a sticker that reads "Property of The Spacing Guild... or The Guild" enters the room.  He's offering a pair of "cumbrella" eye protectors for 1 talon.  Under his breath, he keeps muttering "You're gonna need it."

26) A dimensional rift has torn through, showing an alien world saturated with deep-blue illumination where humanoids are hunted by gigantic spiders with psionic powers that can phase in and out of reality.  The only safety for the poor bastards trapped on Meta'abeelis-3 are dirty puppet-shows where DIY spiders made out of puff balls, pipe-cleaners, and black paint take turns violently humping ordinary household items.

27) Spider Buka'ake!  The filthiest whore of Cha'alt is surrounded by a thousand spiders of all shapes and sizes who take turns jacking on her.  At this point, the woman looks like she's already gone several rounds with the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man... and lost.