Hello, I'm Felix, an independent game dev and writer since 2016. The purpose of this post is not to advertise my goods, but rather take an in depth approach into the madness and hostility I've encountered among "players" in the hobby. I'm not interested in hearing your personal opinion about me, so please show some self control and avoid dissolving this thread into something else.

From my perspective, for someone who returned to the tabletop scene in the last few years, I noticed the trpg hobby in particular is utterly divided. Shocker! Well, not really but YES, really!! I personally enjoy healthy disagreements, it's part of being human. Disagreements have been around since the dawn of time. It will remain a necessity. Sometimes you'll persuade others to your cause, sometimes you won't. It's okay to disagree, on whatever topic. The world won't end, I promise.

The trouble starts when you see cringeworthy behavior left and right, up and down. I mean, it was just like walking into a psychiatric hospital at first glance. It should come to no surprise the hobby in general is as unwelcoming and as closed off as it can be to new players. Gatekeeping is at ludicrous levels, harassment is rampant. Now, if I were to say everyone behaves in such manner, I would be no different. It isn't right to generalize a community in general over a few twisted individuals. Unfortunately the few are many when it comes to the hobby.

Fortunately there's still places like here, therpgsite, where speaking your mind isn't against the rules. Unlike everywhere else. To my understanding you gotta be a real asshole to get banned from the site. If you respect free speech and value creative freedom it's likely we will get along just fine. If you believe in twisted ideology and has problem with creative freedom then please do us real people all a favor and leave this hobby never to return. Stop trying to pass your unhappiness onto others, learn when to stop, seek help. Behave as you would in real life. Practice kindness and stop thinking people need to impress you, or get on your good side. According to google, we live in a world with a population of 7.753 billion (2020), you and I are like a spec of dust. Your desire to be superior makes you weak, and it shows. 

That's why I thank my loyal fanbase with utmost sincerity from time to time, because when you look around there's nothing but assholes, bullies, and idiots in most communities related to the hobby. I kinda hope this thread becomes useful to anyone who takes the hobby serious and really enjoys it. Because it continues to get dissolved into shit by far too many. I thought the hobby was full of intellectual people, what happened?

Edit: One typo, please don't ask for a refund.

Yes, we've all seen it and the bulk of the problem seems to be based on ones personal politics and if you see games as a place that should be mostly free of such, or if you see it as a place to teach and enforce thought on others.

Quote from: FelixGamingX1 on October 30, 2021, 03:49:35 PMI thought the hobby was full of intellectual people, what happened?

RPGs went mainstream and then the midwits flooded in like a backed up toilet.

I agree, that we should consider videogames more serious and be mo pacient to other people. Any intolerance to people with another opinion is bad.
I want to make my hobby a work: become a professional esports athlete. I love games and recently read how pro gamers make money (here - https://cq-esports.com/articles/esports/how-much-money-do-esports-players-make) and i adore that. I could do what i want and earn money at the same time)

Quote from: AtomicPope on February 23, 2022, 08:28:12 PM

Quote from: FelixGamingX1 on October 30, 2021, 03:49:35 PMI thought the hobby was full of intellectual people, what happened?

RPGs went mainstream

Yup... That and all the emotional blackmailing from the bedwetting woke scolds.

There is also a problem when people say the problem is seen on the left and right.
Yes, it might be seen on both sides but the number of incidents is not 50-50 by a longshot. On the left they actively go after people and try to cancel them. On the right it's a snide comment and a hope to be left alone to game (along with a lot of schadenfreude when the left eats its own). Pretending everything is equal is intellectually dishonest.

I have seen gatekeeping with systems and/or rules quizzes which I found pretty silly.  "You can't play Traveller with our group unless you can tell us the gravitational constant on Venus??  8m/s^2?  Nope, actually it's 8.87m/s^2. Sorry"


I've thankfully shied away from playing a lot of Warhammer Fantasy the mini war game because I like dwarves and the GW nerds at my local games shop said I was somehow less of a player because "dwarfs are too easy to paint and real GW players play armies that are hard to paint."  I probably saved $1000s by being told my army choice was bad and not wanting to get into a group of art snobs.


Some games I've been drawn to by players being welcoming and having a good time.  If you see people playing DCC at a con you'll experience it first hand.  I don't think I've ever heard of a DCC group not being welcoming, loud, and fun-loving.  Other games or tables not so much.  If you can't expostulate about the lore to the point of naming all the neighboring countries of Oprak you can't play.

I understand wanting to play with people who have a similar love of the lore or the game, but there's got to be a limit.
Don't get me wrong.  I get annoyed with players who say they have played a game for years yet must have the concept of an initiative roll explained at the start of nearly every combat.  I'm not annoyed by new folks who don't know all the rules.  Hell after 39 years of playing TTRPGs I can't honestly say I have every rule for every system I've played memorized. What get's my goat is 2 hours into a game and it's combat event number three and the call to roll initiate get's answered with a "how do I do that again..."

So long way of saying, yep I agree.  Gatekeeping is a problem in the hobby.

I've not had had any of these problems in all my (many) years role-playing here in the UK.   Perhaps I've been lucky or perhaps it's a US culture wars thing?

Quote from: MadMattUK on March 22, 2023, 10:48:31 AM
I've not had had any of these problems in all my (many) years role-playing here in the UK.   Perhaps I've been lucky or perhaps it's a US culture wars thing?

I haven't had these problems in 40 years of role-playing in the US. It is a culture wars thing for sure, but most of us just want to play. There are angry folks on the left and right ends of the spectrum, and this forum is mostly folks from the right end because as the OP mentioned they're welcome here and not so much elsewhere. But this forum is hardly representative of the whole of the US RPG community. Plenty of legit viewpoints here, but it is most definitely an echo chamber.

Basically I've never heard the term "woke" used here in the UK and very, very rarely "SJW".   Basically I scroll down very quickly when I see them used by either side of the debate as I doubt that very few have definitions of either term that others would agree with.

Quote from: MadMattUK on March 22, 2023, 11:57:26 AM
Basically I've never heard the term "woke" used here in the UK and very, very rarely "SJW".   Basically I scroll down very quickly when I see them used by either side of the debate as I doubt that very few have definitions of either term that others would agree with.

In my experience, SJW is purely pejorative. I've never heard someone accused of being an SJW describe themselves that way. But an "SJW" might very well describe themselves as "woke" and mean that as a point of pride. So if you see someone use the term SJW you immediately know they stand in opposition to the "woke agenda" (whatever that is, as you say, definitions vary.) But with the term "woke" the speaker could be on either side of the divide.

I do think woke is moving towards SJW in that the connotations are becoming increasingly negative as the term is generally used.

But not, thank God, here in the UK!!   (Or at least not  by my gaming group).

Nor in my groups. But the terms turn up in about 30-40% of the threads on this site.